Random Shots

Deion Sanders - The new head coach for your Atlanta Falcons. At least that's what he's telling ESPN's Len Pasquarelli he'd like to be. Before you dismiss it totally, understand that the Falcons owner Arthur Blank is one of the most marketing savvy guys in the league. Hey, I know it's a long shot but from baseball to broadcasting, Deion Sanders has made a career on doing things that supposedly can't be done…

What's the tougher challenge - Following John Elway in Denver or your Dad in Miami? Neither would be a picnic in my book.

ESPN ran a feature on New England's Fred McCrary owning a barbershop. I think it's safe to say that Carolina's Rod Smart is not a regular customer…

LaVar Arrington could play on my team anytime: "After a game when you got your butt kicked, I don't think you need to be laughing". Unfortunately for the Redskins, that means there hasn't been much laughing this season.

The Chiefs' Trent Green dropped by the CBS set for a few minutes. He'll be a better broadcaster than he is a quarterback. And that's not a knock on his quarterback skills. Marino, Esiason and Sanders all should be glad Green's still playing as he was better than all three of them. The guy's a natural.

Best wishes to Iron Mike Ditka as he recovers from hip surgery. I bet he's keeping the nurses on their toes…

Colts linebacker David Thornton said he thought Brian and Bob Griese were brothers. "Are they brothers or what? I don't know football history, honestly." In Thornton's defense, he's just 24 years old.

Keyshawn Johnson's never claimed to be a fast guy. But good grief, he looked like he was running in quicksand trying to catch Ashley Ambrose on the interception return.

Hats off to Chargers owner Alex Spanos. Mr. Spanos donated $1 million to the San Diego Disaster Relief Fund.

I told you last week about New England releasing tackle Kenyatta Jones after an incident where he threw scalding water on his roommate. USA Today's Howard Balzer provided a little more detail this week. Jones' room mate, Mark Paul, was actually his live in administrative assistant. Paul suffered second and third degree burns on his head, shoulder and back after Jones allegedly heated the water in a microwave and laughed while tossing the water on Paul while he was sitting on the toilet. A friend of Jones, Mark Jenkins, said Jones "Always plays around like that. We throw rocks and bricks at each other in the yard. He was just playing and it got out of control." Nice.

Anyone worried about Chad Pennington's wrist injury should check the film for the block he put on the Giants' Brandon Short. He leveled Short on the play as Santana Moss ran a reverse. You'll remember that it was Short who tackled Pennington on the play where he broke his wrist back this Summer.

I'm not sure I like the Texans red jerseys.

The Oakland Raiders are a Rick Mirer injury away from featuring Tee Martin as their quarterback…

Here's an odd one for you. The kickoff temperature in Houston was 81 degrees. That was the second warmest in Reliant Stadium history. You'd expect it to be hotter than that in Houston.

ESPN's Joe D'Ambrosio had the line of the week: "They have dusted off the skeletal remains of Doug Flutie!"

The St. Louis Rams totaled 9 rushing yards as a team Sunday. Yes, 9 yards. As in one yard less than 10 yards. Good grief. That's just not right.

One of the loudest cheers of the day in San Francisco was for Todd Peterson's 44 yard field goal. Making a field goal is a big deal in San Francisco…

After the embarrassing ordeal last week where Corey Dillon missed the game, he roared back into the Bengals picture Sunday with 5 rushing yards on 7 carries. Way to go Corey. Make a statement…

CBS' Jim Nantz said the Lions were looking "rather feisty" Sunday. Hang on there Jim, you can get back to golf here soon…

Watching the Steelers try to pound Jerome Bettis as their offensive line gets manhandled is painful to see. They're not quite the Raiders, but man did those guys fade fast.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers tied an NFL record by recording a sack in their 68th consecutive game. I personally smell a conspiracy. I think they made a deal with the league that would allow them to get a sack every game as long as they never return a kickoff for a touchdown…

Keyshawn Johnson had a big game with 10 catches for 124 yards. He was targeted 16 times. But Tampa lost to New Orleans. What do you think he'd rather have: This loss with a bunch of times touching the ball or a win where he only had 1 catch? I think I know…

It was only fitting that New Orleans' Boo Williams had a big catch on Halloween weekend.

Here's how bad things were for Tampa Bay - Brad Johnson had the longest rush of the day with a 9 yard scramble.

Speaking of Brad Johnson, he was about as streaky as you could get Sunday. He completed his first four passes. Then missed his next six (including an interception). Then he completed seven of his next nine. Then he threw the ugly wounded duck that the Saints' Ashley Ambrose returned for a TD. And he finished completing 13 of his last 19 for 199 yards and two touchdowns.

I'm hearing rumblings that Miami's Ricky Williams is already out of gas…

Want to win a free Footballguys cap? Riddle me this one then. ABC stands for American Broadcasting Company. What does ESPN stand for? Email me the answer to [email protected]. Include your name and mailing address. I'll pick 5 random correct answers to get a free hat. Click here to see the cap modeled by yours truly. (I'm the one on the right…)

I'm loving Chris Chandler in Chicago. I thought this guy was washed up 3 years ago. The real question now is where would the Bears be if Chandler had been under center all year?

Along that same line, what about Doug Flutie in San Diego? The Chargers looked like a totally different team when Flutie took control. Everyone on the stadium and the field (including the Bears) looked like they expected San Diego to score. I would not want to be in Marty Schottenheimer's shoes there. Clearly, Flutie isn't the long term answer. But when do you cut your losses with Drew Brees? Even worse is that the word among the players is that Flutie is their guy.

Both of Troy Hambrick's fumbles looked the same to me. You can be sure that one of two things will happen there with Hambrick. He'll figure out how to hold on to the ball or he'll be riding the bench. Parcells was pretty clear after the game: "No running back is worth fumbles. Gale Sayers isn't worth fumbles".

There was a weird moment in the Dallas - Washington game. After Jeremiah Trotter forced one of the Hambrick fumbles, the camera closed in on the 6' 1" / 262 pound Trotter. He's a pretty intimidating figure. And then a butterfly flew up and landed on his helmet. I hope I'm not the only one that saw that…

Will someone please tell Charles Woodson to shut up? It's obvious the Raiders have huge problems. But calling your coach out to the media is rarely the answer. Especially coming up on a free agent year. Al Davis is not a good guy to play "tag" with. Woodson may be too young to remember Marcus Allen's Raiders days. But Davis isn't.

Jerry Rice and Tim Brown showed how to handle the situation with class. Said Rice: "That's just an opinion, and everybody's entitled to his opinion. We'd like to deal with that situation inside the house." And Brown added: "Even with everything, the plays are there. We just haven't made them. There's a small, small line between winning and losing."

All you need to know about Detroit's passing game? The Lions wide receivers totaled 17 yards Sunday. You know you're in trouble when Cory Schlesinger has 45% of your teams receiving yards…

The last time the Raiders started this badly was 1964. Jerry Rice was two years old. No one else currently on the roster was even born…

Nice picture of what a bend but don't break defense looks like: Green Bay allowed 125 yards rushing on 25 carries for a 5.0 yard per carry average. But the long gain was just 13 yards and the only rushing touchdown allowed was a Daunte Culpepper sneak at the end of the game.

I've been a big fan of Steve Spurrier. But he sure looked like he was missing Gainesville Sunday. I'm sure the Florida faithful would love to have him back. And it sounds like the Redskins faithful would like to give him back. I seriously thought he was going to resign in the third quarter Sunday.

Rock Cartwright was the featured running back for the Redskins Sunday. I love Cartwright. But featured running back, he is not.

Tampa coach Jon Gruden still has a lot of faith in his kicker, Martin Gramatica: "For me, he's the least of my concerns," Gruden said. "I'm stunned any time he misses. Any time he misses from any point on the field, I'm stunned." That means Gruden's been stunned 6 of the 8 times Gramatica's attempted a field goal from beyond 29 yards this season…

New Washington kicker John Hall had been a bright spot. But even his game unraveled Sunday. He attempted no field goals and missed the lone extra point attempt.

Something was up with Dallas quarterback Quincy Carter. Not only could the Cowboy receivers not hold onto his passes, the Redskin defensive backs dropped a couple of sure interceptions.

Backup quarterback Tony Banks did a nice job filling in for David Carr. After the game, he said, "I'll feel better about picking my check up this week" Most of the post game comments from the Texans players were praising Banks. Injured starter David Carr was not exactly gushing though, "He ran the offense. He didn't try to do anything outside of what he was supposed to do. He stayed within himself, and stayed within the framework and what we have going on here." Hmmm.

I think the Giants vs. Jets game is always sort of weird. Both the Giants and the Jets have their own locker room in the stadium. And there is a visitor's locker room. It's one of the few facilities with three separate locker rooms.

How long can Jerry Rice go without a TD?

It's been around for a while but Coors Light deserves mention for another great commercial. "Wingman" may be the best ad out right now.

I'm not sure what it says about the fans at Mile High when the Barrel Man is signing autographs…

His team is struggling but you have to like Danny Kanell's attitude. He says he appreciates the game now more than ever. "Every day I go to work and get to play a game for a living".

Detroit Lions President, Matt Millen summed up the ugliness of Sunday's game: "It's like we kicked each other in the groin for three quarters."

Cool story about Nate Haasis, a high school quarterback in Springfield, IL. Haasis held the conference all time passing record. But he asked that his name be removed from the books when he discovered that the other team had agreed to not contest the final pass that gave him the record.

Jacksonville had to be wondering how they lost to Baltimore Sunday. The Jaguars had more first downs (20 to 9), more yards (320 to 259) and more time of possession (34:53 to 25:07).

Much is always made about a quarterback trying to "force" the ball to a certain receiver. Brian Griese said Sunday what I've always felt was the more accurate picture: "To be honest with you, at the end of a game, if you asked me who caught how many balls, I'd have no idea. I'm not out there to get a guy a certain amount of balls. I'm out there to win the game and whoever is open, that's where I'm going to throw the ball, or wherever the defense dictates I can throw the ball. I'm not out there thinking about giving Chris (Chambers) the ball eight times or Randy (McMichael) or Derrius (Thompson). I'm just out there playing. So, it's not a conscious effort."

Non Football note - LeBron James in his NBA debut answered the "can he live up the hype?" question as well as anyone ever has. The young man is for real.

Tampa Bay's start is definitely worrisome. But Buc fans aren't panicked yet. They made the playoffs in 1999, 2000, and 2001. Their record in each of those years after 8 games was 4-4.

The best compliment I could imagine for Cardinals running back Marcel Shipp came from an unlikely source when ESPN's Michael Irvin finally admitted his man Emmitt Smith might be in trouble…

Seriously, Smith has to be done. I respect the guy for all he's done but he's simply not the best running back on the team anymore. It's not even close. That's reality.

With 12:27 left in the game Tampa Bay faced a 4th and 4 situation. Keyshawn Johnson watched from the sidelines.

Cletidus Hunt's middle name is Marquell. His teammates call him "Nuke". Just because I know you guys like to know that kind of stuff…

I asked last week if there was a more unassuming quarterback than Marc Bulger. Tom Brady might be. When asked about his play where he acted as a decoy for a Troy Brown end around, he said, ``Troy did a good job selling it. I'm just back there looking like a dummy, which isn't very hard for me to do.''

Funny moment on HBO's Inside the NFL when Cris Carter called Dan Marino a "Prima Donna". Mr. Kettle, Mr. Pot's holding on line two…

Coach's Conundrum this week: How you'd like to be Dan Reeves and choosing between Doug Johnson or Kurt Kittner?...

Baltimore running back Chester Taylor jumped over the wall and into the stadium after his touchdown Sunday. "I like that height," "It isn't Lambeau or anything. Chris Redman [our backup quarterback] is always making fun of me saying that I can't jump, so I had to show 'em. ..."

You may remember last week, I commented on Arizona hosting Monday Night Football when I said this: Couple of thoughts on the Monday night game in Arizona. I find it a little hard to believe that with 65,000 plus people in attendance, they could only come up with $200,000 in donations. Sure, that's a lot of money but are we saying the average fan could only come up with three bucks? And I'm sure there were lots of people that threw a 20 (or more) into the donation box so that means tons of people didn't contribute anything. I just find that odd.

Secondly, I'd like to know what the Cardinals pulled in on concession and parking sales. A sellout crowd with free admission but buying beer and parking might actually generate more money for Bill Bidwill than charging full price tickets to the 23,000 they drew in week 2.

And lastly, too bad the Cardinals organization couldn't do it without coming off as self serving. Tempe Mayor Neil Giuliano said, "It shows the NFL that Arizona, and the Valley, is willing to step up and help out when they need help. Hopefully, they will remember that when they consider Arizona for a Super Bowl in a few days." That's so lame.

In the span of 5 minutes, I received these two emails:

"Listen idiot, before you bash, get informed. … Joe, cancel my subscription to footballguys.com. You are as stupid and shallow as all the other Cards bashers. I can't stand Bidwill but he is unfairly reviled by ***holes like you."

And then a different email from the other side:

"I live in Arizona, and trust me, that's not odd at all. I called that before it happened. In fact I'm almost surprised it drew that much. People here are so self-centered they make Jessica Simpson look like Mother Teresa. To be honest, it's embarrassing to say I live in the same state as those freeloading jerks. Most of that $200,000 came from San Diego fans that live here, or ones that drove out from California. You can bank on it."

Oh well…

Who'll get their record first, Dan Reeves or Bruce Smith? Maybe the question might be better phrased "will they get them this season?"

Colts running back Edgerrin James cut his dreadlocks after Cleveland defenders twice grabbed him by his hair while tackling him in the season opener. "My momma always called me 'Tender Head.' I can't go for letting nobody grab me by my hair all day. When you get grabbed by your hair, it really makes you stop and pay attention to what that other person is trying to accomplish," James said. I don't make this stuff up.

When will the Colts' Mike Vanderjagt miss? I wonder now if Tony Dungy feels bad about making Vanderjagt sweat this summer in camp. After the Manning - Vanderjagt issue in the off season, Indianapolis carried a 2nd kicker right up until the final cuts.

I love Seahawks Stadium. Here are a couple of great shots http://www.seahawks.com/stadium.aspx?SecID=31

Non Football comment. I hardly ever watch any non sports TV but I did catch a little of "24" this week with Kiefer Sutherland. Evidently, he's trying to kick a drug habit. They tell me that shouldn't be that hard for him as his character was able to get over being dead fairly quickly last season…

Tweaking a line from Stephen Wright, one of my favorite comedians - You know that feeling when you lean back in the chair and you lean too far back and you start falling over and just at the last minute you catch yourself? I think the Giants feel like that pretty much all the time…

He throws up a clunker every once in a great while but I still love Brett Favre. He's still got the fire inside. You could tell he was jacked up for the Viking game. Much was made of his broken thumb. Favre brushed it off after the game saying, "If you're going to play, suck it up.". For me, Favre's best play won't show up in the box score - when Ahman Green reversed his field after a handoff, Favre suddenly needed to make a block for Green. With zero hesitation he sprang forward and took out Denard Walker with a picture perfect block.

It's bad enough that Washington failed to secure Danny Wuerffel before they cut backup quarterback Rob Johnson. As I told you last week, Wuerffel said thanks but no thanks and the Redskins have a 2nd year quarterback they can't protect backed up by Tim Hasselbeck. But the incredible thing is that the Redskins already were obligated to pay Johnson for the entire season. Good grief.

I saw all I needed to know about ESPN's morning show, "Cold Pizza" from the commercial where the host says, "Check out the throwback, Bro"…

Buffalo Bills owner Ralph Wilson is not a man to mince words. When asked if his team could still make the playoffs he replied, "I don't know. They'll have to show me. We've got a lot of good players and I want to see what they do in the second half. They got outplayed by Kansas City (in Week 8). Period." You don't have to read very hard between the lines to see the message to head coach Gregg Williams who is in the final year of his contract.

Despite Brian Billick's whining, instant replay works. Several bad calls were reversed Sunday and the game is better for it.

Minnesota owner Red McCombs lashed out after the week 8 loss saying it was an "embarrassment". Please sit down Mr. McCombs.

I personally think one of the most stupid "conventional wisdoms" in sports is the "you can't lose your job to injury". Why? It's the coach's job to put the best players on the field. If a backup player proves himself to be better than the guy he replaces, why shouldn't he remain the guy? In reality, that's how it works. Just look at Marc Bulger / Kurt Warner. Coaches aren't stupid. At least not the ones who stay employed.

With all due respect to my many friends in Minnesota, I kind of agree with the Green Bay guys when discussing the Viking - Packer rivalry. How tough can you look in the "Heidi" wig? Really.

Carolina's Steve Smith has definitely emerged. You may remember that Smith has a very rocky history with the Panthers being disciplined a couple of times, once for fighting a team mate during a film session. Sunday, he cost his team with a dumb penalty he drew for kicking a defender after the play. When coach John Fox was asked about a possible fine Monday, he replied: "We don't fine guys for penalties." Ok, Coach. How about stupidity?

Unfortunately for Falcons fans, quarterback Kurt Kittner's best play of the game was handing the ball off to T.J. Duckett for a 1 yard TD.

Somebody tell Marvin Lewis that the orange coaching shirts are not working.

I bet Patrick Ramsey would beg to differ on his offense being called the "Fun 'n Gun" I don't see the quarterback having a lot of fun these days. You know it's bad when Tom Jackson's Monday Night Countdown "Jacked Up" segment features the top 5 hits with Ramsey the recipient of each one.

Is there a worse uniform in all of pro sports than an NFL Pro Bowl jersey?

So much for my man Brock Forsey in Chicago. Anthony Thomas returned to the lineup and of the 32 Bear rushing attempts, Thomas carried the ball on 31 of them.

Philadelphia's tight end L.J. Smith sports two big tattoos on his triceps. An old English style "L" on his left arm and a "J" on his right. Smith is from Rutgers. You don't see a lot of Rutgers guys with tattoos…

I'm glad to see Cincinnati's Peter Warrick do well. I always liked him at Florida State. I noticed that he prays with one of the assistants on the sidelines after a TD. Anyone know who that is and what the relationship is there?

You heard it here - Keep an eye on San Francisco wide receiver Brandon Lloyd. I've got the same type feeling about him that I did Jerry Porter early on.

I love the Nike commercial where Mike Vick throws to Terrell Owens facing a defense that seems like it has 50 guys on it. The pom poms at the end are classic.

Dallas has more wins at the Meadowlands than the Jets do.

Torry Holt has 63 receptions for 978 yards receiving and 9 TDs in one half of the season. In his previous four years, his career high in TDs was 7. If Holt continues at this pace, he will surpass his career high in yardage (1635 yards) by week 14 and may have a legit chance to catch Jerry Rice's single season record of 1848 yards achieved in 1995.

The only thing more irritating than the Nextel phone beeps are the Nextel phone commercials…

You may remember way back in week 2 when San Francisco's Cedrick Wilson effectively cost the 49ers the game against St. Louis by not getting out of bounds and stopping the clock. Wilson wasted no time in making atonements in the rematch as he took the opening kickoff against the Rams for a 95 yard touchdown.

With the Lions' defensive backfield decimated by injuries, they found themselves starting Doug Evans at cornerback. Evans signed with the team Friday. "I was sitting at home (in Seattle) on my couch when they called Thursday," Evans said. "Then I got on a flight, got to Detroit at about 5:30 a.m. Friday, got an hour of sleep, then basically had one day of practice before they told me I was starting."

"I belong in this league, and I can play with anybody that lines up against us" - Understatement of the week from Cardinals running back Marcel Shipp. Shipp's rolled up 306 yards over the last two games.

Not surprisingly, Charles Woodson had plenty to say after the Raiders loss to Detroit. He said they were "embarrassed" to lose to the Lions. I felt sort of bad for Lions kicker Jason Hanson: "We're not very good. Our record isn't good and we're playing a lot of backups. They've got a lot of players and they were just in the Super Bowl. People are going to say it's embarrassing to lose to us until we start putting some wins together." For what it's worth, Hanson has been excellent. He's 9 for 9 on field goals this season including three from 50 plus yards.

Bill Parcells and I have pretty much the same attitude when it comes to be satisfied with our work. He's always good for a smile in his post game press conference and he did not disappoint Sunday. "We didn't lose. So I'm happy. I'll be happy for a little bit. Until I get out of the parking lot."

Hard Luck Awards

MIA QB B. Griese 46 yard pass to TE R. McMichael to the 4 (Williams TD)
IND QB P. Manning 11 yard touchdown pass to TE M. Pollard nullified by penalty (Vanderjagt FG)
IND QB P. Manning 12 yard pass to WR R. Wayne to the 1 (James TD)
IND RB D. Rhodes 5 yard rush to the 3 (Manning to Walters TD)
JAC RB F. Taylor 2 yard rush to the 2
JAC RB F. Taylor minus 3 yard rush to the 5 (Leftwich to Allen TD)
ARZ RB M. Shipp 3 yard rush to the 1 (Blake to Jones TD)
ATL QB K Kittner 13 yard pass to WR B. Finneran to the 1 (Duckett TD)
PHI QB D. McNabb 28 yard pass to TE. L Smith to the 4 (Staley TD)
GB QB B. Favre 25 yard touchdown to WR D. Driver nullified by penalty (Longwell FG)
HOU QB T. Banks 11 yard pass to TE B. Miller to the 3 (Mack TD)
PIT QB T. Maddox 37 yard pass to WR P. Burress to the 2 (Maddox to Ward TD)
SEA QB M. Hasselbeck 43 yard pass to WR D. Jackson to the 2 (Alexander TD)
DAL KR D. Ross 100 yard kickoff return for touchdown nullified by penalty
DAL QB Q. Carter 35 yard touchdown to WR T. Glenn nullified by penalty
DAL QB Q. Carter 4 yard pass to WR A. Bryant to the 4 (Hambrick TD)

Sometimes it's better to just not know…

That'll do it for this week. Here's to football.

Joe

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Joe Bryant
Owner www.footballguys.com

Thanks to friends Bob Harris, Ian Allan, Howie Lanier and Jeff Haseley for the help on this one.