Random Shots

First things first - From all of us at Footballguys.com, here's wishing you and yours the Happiest Thanksgiving imaginable. I'm blessed beyond belief. One of the things I'm thankful for is the opportunity to talk football (plus other goofy stuff here) and laugh a little bit with a bunch of people like yourself you love this game as much as I do. Before this turns into a Hallmark card, let's get to it…

Note to Lisa Guerrero: Pinky Tuscadero called and wants her jacket back…

You know I've been on that Bengal Bandwagon for a while but I'm loving these guys. Chad Johnson is one of my favorite players. Besides incredible talent the young man has a great attitude. You may have caught the ESPN feature on him Sunday. During practice he told coach Marvin Lewis: "Coach, I got a secret". Lewis says, "What's that?" Johnson replied, "I want to be one of the best to ever play this game." Lewis just laughed and said, "That's no secret.". Now here's the good part. Johnson replied back to him, "But I need you to help me, Coach". Johnson's a film room junkie that often sleeps in the Bengals facility so he can study more. Johnson says, "I'm learning on the run. So I gotta be a sponge. I don't want to do anything else, just play ball 24-7". I'm telling you right now that combining his talent with a work ethic like that makes for one scary player.

Chad Johnson is reportedly a cousin of Keyshawn Johnson. Must be a distant cousin…

Ok, what was the deal with it being 70 degrees in Buffalo?

Here's a cool thing to do with Thanksgiving almost here: http://www.chunky.com/click_for_cans.asp It's a giveaway that Campbell Soup sponsors. You click on the team of your choice and they'll donate soup to charities in that city. Check the privacy statement on the site if you're worried about anything. Seems good to me though.

When did everyone get so interested in hotels? I don't understand all the fuss over a video of the Hilton in Paris…

Along those lines, does any running back in the league go down easier than Troy Hambrick? I think not.

ESPN finished a segment with Hank Goldberg and followed with Mike Irvin. I thought for a second I was watching the Cartoon Network…

"That shouldn't be too hard" Ronde Barber when asked if he'd try to make Tiki Barber fumble.

Steve McNair is injured again. Surprise. No doubt he's a very tough guy playing through injury. But it begs the question - is it better to be a guy like McNair who is often injured but plays or is it better to be like Peyton Manning and just not be injured?

It's almost Thanksgiving and since I live in Knoxville, Tennessee, that can only mean one thing: Lady Vol basketball is just around the corner. Pardon me if I have trouble focusing as I'm just freakin' giddy with anticipation…

Christmas came early for the Ravens as the officials botched the game and gave Baltimore the time it needed to tie and eventually win. http://www.nfl.com/news/story/6862960 Seattle has a tough record on getting shafted by the NFL. It wasn't long ago that they suffered the Vinny Testaverde "phantom" touchdown where he was stopped at the one yard line. That play effectively knocked them out of the playoffs back then and this game could have a similar effect.

Oddly enough, even with all his talk of "character" and his recent f bomb laden whines about the officiating, coach Brian Billick wasn't terribly upset over the obvious and admitted mistake: "It gets a little confusing" said Billick. Shocker.

I know it's cold in Kansas City this time of year but someone please give Dick Vermeil a different jacket and hat? He looks like Santa and it's confusing my kids…

New England is now 8-0 in overtime games. That's not a coincidence.

It's still very early, but the Houston Texans have still never won back to back games.

Watching the Jets - Jaguars game and I was asking myself when I last saw an NFL matchup featuring Marshall QBs.

I know it's a long shot, but if they ever make a movie about Carmen Policy, http://www.clevelandbrowns.com/team/front_office/ Joe Pesci http://henancius.martin-scorsese.net/pesci/index.html is a shoe in. Why do I think of these things?

Heard around the world from Priest Holmes owners Sunday: "Who is Derrick Blaylock and why is he scoring Priest's touchdown?"

Speaking of Kansas City, do the Chiefs have some sort of Jedi Mind trick thing going where they can suddenly make an opposing player go stupid and yank their helmet off? You'll remember Cleveland's Duane Rudd last season and then Oakland's Phillip Buchanon drew a penalty for doing the same thing Sunday.

Both Atlanta and Miami pulled out the new alternate jerseys Sunday. Atlanta looked like Texas Tech. Miami looked like the work release trash pickup crew…

Brian Williams led all Detroit receivers with 71 yards on the three passes he caught from Joey Harrington. That's all well and good for Detroit except for the fact that Brian Williams plays cornerback for Minnesota…

While I'm on Williams, I didn't understand his celebration after the 42 yard touchdown interception return. With teammates arrested for DUI last week, Williams kneel down with his hands behind his head pose was a little awkward…

Something was totally goofy Sunday with quick scores: Tennessee's Frank Wycheck is making up for lost time. He scored two touchdowns Sunday in a span of 49 seconds. And Seattle's Matt Hasselbeck threw two touchdowns in the span of 16 seconds. And finally, Minnesota scored two touchdowns within 20 seconds of each other and both were on interception returns. That has to be some sort of record.

Proof that stupid people will buy anything: Jones Soda company sold out 6,000 of their new "Turkey and Gravy" flavored soda online in two hours last week. According to the AP story: "The liquid's ominous, murky brown color accurately warns consumers about the taste. The first sips bring a mix of sweet caramel and savory lard - and it's downhill from there." If you missed out, don't worry, Ebay had a two pack on sale Tuesday with the bidding up to $63…

Here's a brutal stat for any of you Marcel Shipp owners that have a scoring system that awards bonus points for 100 yard games: Shipp had 100 rushing yards with 5:16 to go in the 4th quarter but lost 5 yards on his final carry. Getting rid of that 100 yard bonus was one of the best moves our league ever made.

Speaking of the Rams - Cardinals game: It was another overtime decided where the offense for the team that lost the coin flip never saw the field...

I'm as guilty of this as anyone, but why do we care that a quarterback "spreads the ball around"? You always read that Joe Quarterback did a great job utilizing 8 different receivers. As if that makes him great. If that quarterback is my guy, I don't care if he throws all his yards to one receiver as long as he throws them.

Judging from my mail box, last week's "I'd rather have Ray Lewis than Southpark" rant struck a chord. I expected to hear from all the South Park fans (and I did). But I also heard from a ton of Ray Lewis fans who didn't appreciate me insinuating anything negative about their "innocent future Hall of Famer" and couldn't imagine it would even be a question that Lewis ranks above South Park. Looks like I managed to stir up pretty much everyone with that one. Good.

Think the Titans defense is for real? They held Atlanta to 25 yards rushing. 22 yards if you take out quarterback Doug Johnson's yards.

I ribbed FOX's Chris Myers the other day about being relegated to the sideline reporter job. I don't know what happened, but Myers was doing the play by play Sunday for the Rams - Cardinals games and he was excellent.

Does it sound weird to any of you old timers to hear "St Louis Rams at Arizona Cardinals"?...

Arizona's Anquan Boldin should make room on his mantle for the NFL Rookie of the Year Award. He topped 1000 yards receiving in his rookie season faster than any other receiver in NFL history not named Randy Moss.

Aaron Moorehead's done a nice job filling in at wide receiver for the Colts. But you need a better picture there, rookie: http://www.nfl.com/players/playerpage/396984

Kordell Stewart rushed four straight plays from inside the 1 Sunday. Note to Anthony Thomas Owners: Yes, Dick Jauron really does hate you.

Buffalo running back Travis Henry is one tough player. He battled Sunday with a broken fibula. "If we didn't have a chance, I don't know (if I would have played)," Henry said. "But we had a chance so I went out and gave it all I had."

Note to Mike Irvin. Just because Keyshawn told you Jon Gruden was a liar doesn't make it so.

Terry Bradshaw must be very good friends with Brett Favre. FOX ran an interview Sunday where Bradshaw asked Favre if it crossed his mind to just pop some vicodin for his thumb injury and Bradshaw did the knee slapping laugh thing after he asked it. Favre didn't think it was nearly as funny. He answered, "It never crossed my mind". Bradshaw tried to recoup a little and said, "It was a good question though, wasn't it?" Favre replied, "It was a better answer". Given Favre's past, we've all been wondering the same thing Bradshaw asked. But I don't think I'd have joked with him about it. But maybe they're good enough friends to do that.

Where's Ricky Watters these days?

Have you ever noticed that the Bengals jersey looks a lot like the Jaguars jersey with the cat thing on the sleeve? Well yeah, one is black and the other is teal. And the Bengals have the tiger stripes on the shoulder. And… Ok, they both have the cat thing on their sleeves.

In Chris Chandler and Kordell Stewart, Chicago has the distinction of owning the two lowest rated quarterbacks in the leagues among players with enough attempts to qualify. Now that's something to be proud of.

The NFL Films footage from the Bengals upset win over the Chiefs was some of the best I've ever seen from them. And that's saying a lot. Reggie Kelly had the huddle whipped into a frenzy before the game when he shouted, "Everyone expects them to win! Nobody expects us to win! But nobody expected David to beat Goliath! Nobody expected Daniel to walk out the lion's den! The funniest line came later in the game when Marvin Lewis said something to Corey Dillon and then gave him a not too hard open hand slap against Dillon's helmet. Dillon grimaced and said, "Owww, coach." Lewis said, "I know, I know." On a serious note, it was incredible to see the influence Lewis has over his team. After the game, Dillon hugged Lewis and said, "You're a good a** coach". Any coach that can manage a super star on the bench and have him that happy is one heck of a motivator.

Over the last three weeks, Cincinnati's Jon Kitna is the 5th best quarterback ranked by fantasy points per game. Brett Favre is ranked # 31. Things move pretty quickly around here…

The NFL runs a pretty tight ship. Dick Vermeil reportedly told his kicker Morten Andersen that he'd buy him an expensive bottle of wine if he made the kick Sunday. Andersen booted it through but the league called to remind the Chiefs that offering performance bonuses that are not included in contracts is not allowed. ``We'll have to wait until after the season to share a glass of wine at my house,'' Vermeil said. ``I just can hardly believe it.'' I understand why they have a rule like this with salary cap and all but it seems a little goofy to me. Side note: Hey, I'm all for coach Vermeil if he wants to crack a nice merlot with Andersen in February. But for a guy that cries a lot, sharing wine with the kicker at home isn't doing anything for his image…

Smooth move from Brett Favre wearing the Bart Starr Throwback # 15 jersey at the press conference… 30 years from now, the starting quarterback for the Packers will be wearing a throwback # 4 jersey…

The bad news for Santana Moss owners is that he finally came back to earth with just 13 yards receiving. The good news is that he kept the touchdown streak alive.

Just when I get all excited about San Francisco's Kevan Barlow, he lays an egg with 4 rushes for 18 yards…

Much was made of Spurrier returning to Florida Sunday. I have a friend who flew home from Europe once and his fight was to Atlanta. From Atlanta, he was to catch a connecting flight home to Knoxville. As it turned out, the weather in Atlanta closed the airport for a while and they landed at the next closest airport which by good fortune was Knoxville. My friend thought, "Great, I'm home. I'll just get off here and be done". But since Knoxville isn't an international airport with customs, he couldn't get off. He could see his house as they flew over Knoxville, but couldn't go home yet. So close to where he'd rather be, but no dice. I bet Spurrier felt like that Sunday…

Eddie George was excellent Sunday with 115 yards and a TD. I knew he still had plenty left in the tank… (regular readers know I've been dogging George as "done" for a while) He should be able to keep it rolling for at least another game this week against the Jets.

Example of parity in the NFL: Week 12 featured just one game where both teams had winning records…

Best tackle of the week was Green Bay safety Antuan Edwards. Terrell Owens was running an end around to the right side and Edwards caught Owens in the backfield, and put his head across Owens' body for a textbook wrap up. He then picked him and body slammed Owens to the ground. Wow.

Featuring names like Sam Gash, Rock Cartwright, Omar Easy, and Mack Strong, I've long said the fullback position has a stronghold on the best names by position race. They got even stronger this week when Joey Goodspeed was activated for St. Louis.

Is Bill Parcells getting soft? Sunday he said, "I thought our guys were really good today"…

Peter King had the goofiest quote of the week when he asked Keyshawn Johnson what the turning point was in his relationship with Jon Gruden. Said Johnson: "We played at San Francisco a month ago, and I had about 75 people in the stands -- family, friends, relatives. My two kids [who live in the East Bay area] were there. We needed the game, and we had got some guys [namely fellow wide receiver Joe Jurevicius] hurt, and I got one catch all day. One catch! Near the end of the game, I was standing on the sidelines, all pissed off. We were getting killed. And Gruden came up to me and said: "What do you see out there? Help me get you the ball. Tell me what you see so I can help you." I was shocked. I'm thinking, Are you bleeping kidding me? So I just, like, patted him on the head and said, "Keep doing what you're doing. It's really working for us." I was being sarcastic. After the game, I decided I wasn't going back to Tampa with the team. I hadn't seen my kids in two weeks. And I decided that was it. I wasn't going to play with the Bucs after this season. Things just escalated from there. My whole mental state was messed up. I just knew, frankly, that I couldn't play for that man anymore.''

The sad part is that I bet Johnson doesn't have a clue what the reads like to most people.

Sorry, this my last note on Keyshawn this week: Terry Bradshaw cut Johnson no slack on FOX Sunday. He asked Johnson, "Aren't you embarrassed? Because if I were you, I'd be embarrassed."

The Philadelphia game featured 26 penalties. Good grief.

I see lots of analysts ripping Cleveland for running the double reverse at the goalline and coming up short. They scream "Why didn't they run the ball up the middle?" If they'd watched the game they would have known that Cleveland didn't have a chance to power the ball in. James Jackson was nearly decapitated by Kendrell Bell on 2nd and 1. On 3rd and 1, Jackson was clearly rattled and made a half hearted effort before being tackled by Bell again. You had the feeling the were more likely to lose yardage than to score up the middle.

Would anyone a few years ago have predicted Rick Mirer throwing a touchdown to Jerry Rice for Oakland in 2003?

Here's something you don't see a lot of: Brett Favre threw 3 interceptions (vs just 1 turnover for San Francisco) and the Packers still won.

When did everyone decide that the "sprinkler" was the TD dance to do?

Detroit free safety Brian Walker intercepted a pass in his endzone and while deciding whether to run it out or take a knee, looked like he was trying to call timeout to the ref. I'm sure I wasn't the only one to have a flashback to Michigan's Chris Weber's ill fated basketball timeout. On the other hand, maybe I was the only one and I need help…

Houston's Tony Banks had just 93 yards but scored 2 TDs. Applying his yardage:TD ratio to Tom Brady's day Sunday would equate to Brady throwing 8 touchdowns…

I take back the semi good things I said about Chris Chandler.

Is it time to seriously question whether Drew Bledsoe is a starting quarterback? He's suffered through his fourth straight game with less than 190 passing yards now.

Marty Schottenheimer does not look happy these days. You can't blame him. Sunday he was clearly agitated when he said, "At some point in time, we've got to grow up. We've got to make some plays."

I called Tampa to win their next three games starting in week 12. So far so good.

You might have seen the side judge in the Tennessee - Atlanta game. A punt bounced and deflected right into his crotch. Just drilled him. He was down forever. I bet he wears a cup next game. Seriously, I've said for a long time that the next noticeable change you see in the game will be refs wearing helmets. Sadly, it'll probably take a major injury to make it happen but it's absolutely nuts for those guys to be on the field in the middle of that action totally unprotected. It'll happen, you wait. For anyone interested, my next prediction for what you'll see is a female kicker. I'm sure of that one. Someone like Mia Hamm would be huge. You think the league would have any interest in promoting her? Just a tad…

I'm ready to say it: Cincinnati has the best 1-2-3 wide receivers in the game with Chad Johnson, Peter Warrick and Kelly Washington. I had the opportunity watch Washington up close in college and if he can keep his head on straight (literally and figuratively), he will be scary good.

Funniest coaching move of the weekend? Oakland trying to ice kicker Morten Andersen. You don't ice Morten Andersen…

Hard Luck Awards:

NE RB K. Faulk 5 yard rush to the 4 (Brady to Graham TD)
DET QB J. Harrington 5 yard TD pass to TE C. Fitzsimmons nullified by penalty (Hanson FG)
DAL RB T. Hambrick 6 yard rush to the 5 (Carter to Robinson TD)
DEN RB Q. Griffith 23 yard rush to the 1 (Plummer to Smith TD)
PIT RB J. Bettis 3 yard rush to the 3
PIT RB J. Bettis rush for no gain from the 3 (Maddox to Bruener TD)
KC RB P. Holmes 19 yard rush to the 2 (Green to Dunn TD)
BUF QB D. Bledsoe 14 yard pass to WR B. Shaw to the 1
BUF RB T. Henry rush for no gain from the 1 (Bledsoe TD)
CIN RB R. Johnson 3 yard rush to the 5 (Kitna to Johnson TD)
CIN RB C. Dillon 2 yard rush to the 4 (Kitna to Johnson TD)
CIN QB J. Kitna 9 yard pass to WR K. Walter to the 4 (Kitna to Washington TD)
SEA RB S. Alexander 6 yard rush to the 2 (Hasselbeck to Jackson TD)
SEA RB S. Alexander 1 yard rush to the 5 (Hasselbeck to Engram TD)
ATL RB W. Dunn 6 yard rush to the 5 (Duckett TD)
TEN QB B. Volek 10 yard pass to TE E. Kinney to the 2 (George TD)
JAC RB F. Taylor 2 yard rush to the 4
JAC RB F. Taylor 3 yard rush to the 1
JAC RB F. Taylor rush for no gain from the 1 (Fuamatu-Ma'afala TD)
NYJ QB C. Pennington 5 yard pass to RB C. Martin to the 3 (Pennington to Moss TD)
WAS QB T. Hasselbeck 11 yard rush to the 5
WAS RB C. Morton rush for no gain from the 5 (Canidate TD)
PHI QB D. McNabb 28 yard pass to TE L. Smith to the 1 (Buckhalter TD)

Sometimes it's better to just not know.

That'll do it for today, Folks.

Here's to Football and I hope you have a great Thanksgiving.

Joe

Joe Bryant
Owner - Footballguys.com

Thanks to friends Ian Allan, H.K., Bob Harris and David Dodds for the help on this one.