Here's what happens when you sit an NFL Junkie down in front of multiple big screens with Sunday Ticket and fresh batteries in the remote...

Lisa Guerrero looked more than a little nervous interviewing Lawrence Taylor. Joe Theisman would have looked more comfortable...

Someone tell Michael Irvin he's not on WWF. Easy Mike, we can hear you.

Kenny Mayne had a whole offseason to work on those "Mayne Event" segments. And this is the best they can come up with?

I miss Melissa Stark. Really.

ESPN's Tom Jackson waited about 5 seconds before ripping Rush Limbaugh for his "Patriots won't miss Malloy" talk in week 1. Please, save the mail ditto heads, I though Rush did well for the 2nd week in a row.

Cool site of the day: Keeps up with how many facemasks my favorite FB Cory Schlesinger breaks this season. He broke 23 last year and is already up to 6 this season. Thanks to Jason Cummings for passing along.

The last eight Pittsburgh - Kansas City games have all been in Arrowhead Stadium. How does that work?

Quote of the week: "Oh the 'Randy Ratio' is still there. We just don't publicize it" Vikings WR Randy Moss on what we all knew already. Why they ever were goofy enough to leak that to the press back then is still beyond me.

Viking QB Daunte Culpepper has made good on his preseason talk about limiting interceptions. He's yet to throw one. Only three other teams can say that (Seattle, Jacksonville and Oakland)

Titan QB Steve McNair says his older brother Fred, is the best QB in the family. That's scary.

Tom Jackson was asked if Peyton Manning was a top five QB. He answered that since the NFL started 55 QBs last year and Manning is a tough guy that plays every week, his answer was yes.

Priest Holmes is reportedly nursing sore ribs. But he shows up on the injury report today officially with a calf injury. Coach Dick Vermeil describes his injury condition as having "Running Back's Body".

Watching the Rams warm up for the 49er game, they were very fired up in the endzone.

Evidently, Commissioner Tagliabue is a Random Shots reader. He thought it was a little weird for Falcons owner, Arthur Blank to be wheeling Mike Vick around in the wheelchair too. But the funniest part of that whole ordeal was Blank letting Warrick Dunn borrow his cell phone then he kept reaching for it trying to pull it away from Dunn's ear.

Exhibit A in the argument you must have a feared passing game in order to open up the run: Jamal Lewis Week 2.

Quick, what team has the number one offense in the league? The Dallas Cowboys averaging 403 yards per game. And that was against Atlanta and the Giants so you can't blame the schedule.

On the flip side, anyone surprised to see Oakland and Philadelphia in the bottom five?

The Titans have 3 rushing first downs. The Broncos have 34 rushing first downs.

I don't remember this many "must win" games this early in the season in quite a while.

Speaking of that, what happens when you lose a "must win" game in Week 2? Seriously.

The Sporting News is reporting that the Minneapolis Star Tribune has added a beat writer to cover the Packers. That can't be right, can it?

Is Curtis Martin the next Eddie George to fade away?...

Kurt Warner was a great lesson in humility on the sidelines Sunday. I'm sure he knew the cameras would be on him but every time I saw him, he was smiling and upbeat. He was clapping and was the first guy to congratulate Bulger when he came off the field. That's got to be tough.

And I can't imagine a guy handling the promotion any more graciously and professionally than Bulger has. (Although Chad Pennington was total class last year too) It's got to be awkward for Bulger as now everyone is looking to him. He was shaky early but seemed to settle down nicely. I loved how Mike Martz called the long pass for him on the first play.

Here's a strange but true one for you: The Seahawks have only 22 receptions as a team for the year. For comparison, Tampa Bay had 34 receptions in just Sunday's game. But of those 22 Seattle receptions, 4 have been for TDs and only the Vikings have more reception TDs with 5. Weird.

Green Bay cornerback Al Harris' hair completely covers up his name on his jersey and covers the top part of his number. I've been on Mike McKenzie before on this but Harris is the new champ.

Speaking of long hair, Miami's Ricky Williams accused Jets' LB Marvin Jones of "dirty play" grabbing his hair while trying to tackle him. Jones scoffed at the notion.

"I don't really give a [bleep] what [Williams said]. I've got to do whatever I've got to do to bring a guy down. It still counts, whether it's hair, legs, arms, it still counts." My thoughts exactly, Mr. Jones.

I think Carolina RB Steven Davis is on coach John Fox's fantasy team. We knew he'd run a lot but 55 carries in two games?...

I know NFL Europe is Paul Tagliabue's pet project but don't you really think that a developmental league like that would go over here? Granted, I'm a lot more into this than the average guy. But so are you. And there are a lot of "you" out there...

Most experts see Mississippi quarterback Eli Manning as a top draft prospect among QBs for next year. Assuming he lands a starting job in the NFL one day, when's the last time two brothers started at QB in the NFL?

Most effective business manager in sports? I think it's easy: Ira Rainess, who in addition to handling Cal Ripken Jr's dealings for years, is the man behind the Ray Lewis makeover. It wasn't long ago that Lewis was facing trial on six felony charges before accepting a plea bargain misdemeanor obstruction of justice and probation. He was fined a quarter of a million dollars by the NFL for conduct detrimental to the league. Now he's the spokesman for Reebok.

Can STL WR Dane Looker be the guy the Rams are looking for? He's making a strong case. People forget how key that 3rd WR is in their system. He's a great story having been through camp four different times with St. Louis.

Miami is the only team that hasn't made a FG yet. In fact, they haven't even attempted a FG yet.

Baltimore coach Brian Billick was on the radio last Friday talking about how they couldn't have another game where they only got Jamal Lewis 15 carries as they did in week one. The result was Sunday's 30 carry day. Is he the anti Mike Shanahan?

Speaking of Skeletor, did you see the NFL didn't think it was nearly as funny that he "fibbed" about Plummer's concussion when in reality he had an injured shoulder? I understand exactly why Shanahan wouldn't want San Diego to know but I think if I were going to fib, I'd say something besides a concussion.

Who has the stingiest Defense in the league when it comes to points allowed? If you said Seattle, you are right.

Anyone notice how Coors Light is the official beer sponsor of the NFL. Big difference between that and having Coors Light as the official beer of the NFL.

Words you don't want to hear Al Michaels say, "Tiki Barber... he's a fumbler!"

Barber has 28 fumbles since 2000. Why don't you hear more about that?

Here's a stat for you: Jamal Lewis has played the same number of NFL games (34) as LaDainian Tomlinson and gained nine more yards (3,055-3,046).

Pittsburgh's Punter Josh Miller still makes more money than Tommy Maddox. That's hard to believe.

"We played the run poorly. He's a good running back." Browns coach Butch Davis on Jamal Lewis after Lewis hung 295 yards on Cleveland. Insert your own joke here.

Did Donovan McNabb just forget how to play quarterback?

It was good to see Brett Favre looking genuinely happy after Antonio Freeman caught his first pass. You could see the smile a mile away. Great crowd response too. Said Freeman, "I feel like a little kid who ran away and has come home."

Did you know that former Bear great Mike Singletary is the linebacker's coach for Baltimore? That's strong. Evidently, he hasn't lost any enthusiasm for the game hitting the practice field in a helmet and shoulder pads. Says LB Ed Hartwell, "As soon as he put the helmet on and got into his stance, his eyes blew up just like you see in the films. It was like watching him on TV". Cool.

Chief WR and former Lion Johnnie Morton still sounds a little bitter about his departure from Detroit: "My goal is to get Matt Millen fired. That is my goal. You can play it in Detroit. I said it. We'll worry about that later."

Terrell Owens warmed up on an all white skin tight Lycra suit before the game. He looked like a cross between Michael Johnson and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Cris Collinsworth commented for FOX that it was "amazing how all wide receivers are built pretty much alike..."

Here's persistence for you. Check out this play sequence for Atlanta's Fullback Rock Cartwright, one of the best names in the NFL:

Kansas City coach Dick Vermeil was very cool Tuesday on the radio when the host asked him if they were taking the Texans for granted. He said, "We won eight football games last year. We don't take anyone for granted."

Excellent job from Dallas return man Zuriel Smith. The rookie from Hampton made a smart play when he chose not to field the Giant squib kick that went out of bounds. You can bet he got an earful though earlier in the game when he fielded a punt on his own 6 yard line...

The Giants - Cowboys game lived up to the hype. Has to be gut wrenching for Jim Fassel. He seems like too class a guy to show it but this was the worst possible scenario for him. He had the clearly more talented team facing the coaching legend returning home. I know he's been ripped for the calls at the end of the game but hindsight is 20-20. If he'd run the clock down at the end of regulation before kicking the FG, can you imagine the outcry if the snap had been bad? I can hear the shouts now of "Didn't you learn from the 49er game?". Or what if he'd kicked the ball deep instead of squib kicking and then Zuriel had returned the kick to midfield? (Zuriel had returned a kick 37 yards earlier) I think the bottom line is that it's not unreasonable to expect your defense to hold a team from scoring in 14 seconds and that's how he played it. No wonder these guys get ulcers.

I heard hardly any talk about what I thought was the most intriguing angle of the Monday night game: Dallas quarterback coach / assistant head coach Sean Payton returning. You probably remember that Payton served as the Giants offensive coordinator last season and there was much made over Fassel relieving Payton of his play calling duties. He lands in Dallas, snares the added bonus title of "assistant head coach" and wins in New York with an offense that's posting major league yards.

Colts Center Jeff Saturday was credited with a fumble Sunday when Manning was in the shotgun but Saturday thought the quarterback was under center. How many centers get charged with fumbles? And not to get personal, but can't you tell whether Manning's there or not?...

Every time STL linebacker Pisa Tinoisamoa makes a good play in the Edwards Jones Dome, they play the theme song from Hawaii 5-0. You gotta like that.

Jamal Lewis showed Sunday a great example of talent that's just not coachable. On one of the long runs, a defender came crashing in from his left on what should have been a blindside tackle but Lewis caught a glimpse of him and stiff armed him away. You just don't coach peripheral vision.

Funny moment on the CBS set. Colts DB Nicholas Harper was showboating on the interception TD and Deion Sanders said, "That was hot-dogging, I don't agree with that." Boomer Esiason immediately moved his arms into one of Deion's old TD poses and said, "C'mon Deion, what was this?". Deion just smiled, and said, "Aw, that was for the kids..."

FOX radio reported that as of Thursday, there were still 50,000 seats available for the Arizona - Seattle game.

It's not quite as bad, but watching Emmitt Smith struggle to be an average back reminds me of an old fat Muhammad Ali getting pummeled by Leon Spinks. I was just a boy but that image of Ali gasping on the stool in the corner has always stuck with me. Sometimes, I think Robert Smith may have had the right answer. Get in, get out, have fun and get on with your life. Smith could have been a John Elway / Denver type figure in Dallas had he retired. He may very well still go back and do that but I wonder if he isn't second guessing himself.

I have a hard time thinking of the Bears in the same category as I do the Bengals and Lions. At least they have baseball right now.

I know SF wide receiver Cedrick Wilson is a professional and needs to know he should've killed the clock so they could kick the FG. But seriously, at least a little blame has to go to the coaching staff and leaders in the huddle. They reportedly told Terrell Owens to make sure he didn't run out the clock but failed to remind Wilson.

Former Bengal Takeo Spikes looks like he wants to kiss the turf in Ralph Wilson Stadium when he comes out of the tunnel. He has to be loving life.

Not sure I've seen this before: Atlanta attempted to challenge a fumble recovery that led to a Washington TD, but replay equipment malfunctioned and prevented review of play. The call stood and no timeout was charged.

Same old Lions? Very similar to the Cincinnati situation as they have a new dynamic coach but a lot to overcome.

Funny scene in the endzone where Buffalo WR Bobby Shaw was doing his dance and Drew Bledsoe was holding his teammates back so Shaw could continue before being mobbed.

San Diego QB Drew Brees laid a nice block on Denver linebacker Al Wilson. That is no small feat.

Ssshhhhh. The Redskins are quietly 2-0. A mark they haven't seen since 1991.

After one rush, Jamal Lewis was averaging 82 yards per carry in Sunday's game...

Carolina's powder blue jerseys are definitely in the "love 'em or hate 'em" category. I'm leaning pretty hard toward the "love 'em" side there.

Speaking of Carolina, how cool was QB Jake Delhomme? And what about Keyshawn Johnson calling his team the "World Chumps"? Ouch.

Anyone like me who loved to watch the XFL (Hi, my name is Joe and I'm a professional football junkie...) has to enjoy seeing Rod Smart of "He Hate Me" fame (shame?) return kicks for Carolina.

Pretty weird stat line for Buffalo RB Travis Henry: 21 rushes for 26 yards and 3 TDs. I'll take it.

Here's a sequence for Henry that you like to see from your RB:

Saints veteran safety Jay Bellamy has been a tackling machine but you can bet he had a tough time in the film room this week as Houston QB David Carr made him look silly at the goalline Sunday.

Steve McNair was hurt (again) Sunday. He also came back to play (again) He's widely regarded as the toughest guy in the game but I have to wonder why he's constantly injured.

And that reminds me. How long will the NFL continue to allow the Titans and Jeff Fisher to mock their injury report by listing everyone as Questionable? I can't remember the last time anyone was listed as anything else.

Any Shockey owners or Giant fans out there think dropping passes is as funny as Shockey seemed to think Monday night? I'm guessing not so much.

If New Orleans wide receiver Joe Horn is hurt, I'd hate to see him at full speed.

The Broncos went out and signed backup QB Danny Kannell today. But according to Denver, Jake Plummer is fine. Really. For sure. They mean it... Rule # 1: Consider the source. Translated: Plummer owners you'd better be for covering yourself.

Strong safety Scott McGarrahan recorded the Titans only first down in the first quarter Sunday with a 10 yard reception in a fake punt...

Who's Jon Gruden talking to on the walkie talkie? And why isn't his head set wired in to that guy?

Hard Luck Awards.

Last year, I called these the Corey Dillon Awards as it seemed like he just couldn't catch a break. Let's give it a week or two and we'll see who earns the honor this year.

I also list the guy(s) that did score in parenthesis so you can see if you lucked out. Always good ammunition for rubbing it in. Not that we'd ever advocate that...

Sometimes it's better not to know...

That'll do it for this week. Here's to Football.

Joe

Special thanks to Footballguys Jeff Haseley and Scott Prince for the stat help.