Random Shots

Evidently, Denver coach Mike Shanahan missed my Random Shots last week where I advised all NFL coaches to kick away from Dante Hall. That hurts, Mike. Really.

Speaking of Hall, I like the guy as much as everyone else. The Chiefs are a great story. And I'm totally aware I'm watching history unfold when he makes those incredible returns. But seriously, does that mean his team gets to throw the rulebook out? There were a couple of blatant blocking penalties on the last punt return that were just embarrassing.

Buffalo wide receiver Eric Moulds was impressed with teammate Travis Henry playing through a rib injury: "He's a warrior," Moulds said. "If we could get everyone on this team to play like this guy when he's hurt, we can do great things."

Lisa, sorry Hon, I tried. I really did make an effort. But I'm back to missing Melissa Stark. A lot. Judging from my email box, I'm not alone in this sentiment.

I stay on Mike Shanahan, but giving credit where credit is due, Skeletor was very cool after the game Kansas City game when asked about the missed call on Hall's TD return: "You're always hoping that they balance out. Yeah, it's always tough when you see something that's pretty obvious that you don't get. That's the nature of this league. We could have put the game away a number of times and we didn't do it. That's what you've got to look back on."

More giving credit where it's due - Giant TE Jeremy Shockey was a force Sunday with 11 catches for 110 yards.

Philadelphia defensive end "N.D." Kalu scored a touchdown Sunday. I love this guy. His real name is Ndukwe (pronounced EN-doo-kway). He's from Nigeria and in the Ibo language, Ndukwe means "long life and prosperity" and Kalu means "god of thunder". He lives in Houston and went back to Rice this offseason and earned enough credits to graduate with a major in English. You don't graduate from Rice unless you're sharp. Nice work, Ndukwe.

Whether it was sincere or not, Dallas owner Jerry Jones and Cardinal running back Emmitt Smith shared a nice hug before the game Sunday. Unfortunately, that was about as good as it got for Smith. It had to be a strange feeling for him on the other sideline: "It will go down as one of the unique experiences I've ever experienced" said Smith.

I'm a Patrick Ramsey fan and one reason is he seems like a standup guy. He could have made excuses after he led his team back Sunday but failed to convert on the 2 point conversion to tie the game. But he did not. ""Coles was wide open and I overthrew the ball. It was as simple as that".

For a 6'0" 254 pound guy, Atlanta's T.J. Duckett sure has a lot of long runs. He ripped off a 55 yarder Sunday. And in week 4, he had a 41 yard rush.

I don't think I've ever seen Tim Couch play as well as he did Sunday. And that goes all the way back to his Kentucky days. Poor Butch Davis just can't shake this quarterback controversy. Of course, there are worse problems than having two good quarterbacks.

Here's one for you - is the correct term for the short forward pass the A) Shuttle Pass, B) Shuffle Pass, or C) Shovel Pass? Truth be told, I'm not sure there is a correct answer. I tend to think it's kind of like the words to "Louie, Louie". Everyone acts like they know and just sort of mumbles along but the reality is that nobody has a clue.

The Buccaneers did not attempt a single pass from 1:20 left in the 3rd quarter, to 0:26 left in the game.

I've been ripping these punt returners for fielding the ball inside their 10 yard line. It's just a good rule of thumb. But when you're as talented as KC returner Dante Hall, you don't have to follow the rules. Here's what Hall said about his touchdown return against Denver: "The first part of that return was not smart at all," Hall said. "I caught it maybe on the 8, then I retreated back to the 5, then the 2. I got dumber and dumber and dumber." John Madden calls that the "No No Go Go" play.

Just when I start bragging on the Viking Pass defense they make Doug Johnson and Peerless Price look like Joe Montana and Jerry Rice. Figures.

Classic quote from Dallas wide receiver Joey Galloway on how to stop the Dallas passing attack: "Double Terry Glenn and roll an extra guy over to Antonio Bryant..."

Do I really need to be told it's a "dramatization" when the submarine comes bursting through the ice on the Ford Explorer commercial?

I'm feeling old again. I can remember when it was a big deal for Ed McCaffrey to go an entire game without catching a pass.

Gotta love those Eagle fans. FOX had their # 1 team of Joe Buck, Chris Collingsworth, and Troy Aikman in Philadelphia. The jumbotron screen showed the broadcast crew just for a second and the stadium erupted in boos at the sight of the former Cowboy.

Washington cornerback Fred Smoot's listed officially at 174 pounds although most say he's closer to 168. Pound for pound, he may be the most confident guy in the league.

I love that camera angle from behind the field goal kicker. It's a long ways and a pretty small target they're trying to hit.

Scariest thing about the California Election? Gary Coleman and Larry Flynt together garnered over 28,000 votes.

Through 4 games Eagles QB Donovan McNabb has 5 interceptions, 1 touchdown and a quarterback rating of 51.3. I'm just sayin'.

You probably heard 49er quarterback Jeff Garcia talk about the "sickness" in the locker room. Terrell Owens showed up for practice last week wearing a surgical mask in hopes of not contracting the disease. That's pretty good.

You could tell it had been a tough week for both Owens and Garcia. The 49ers scored quickly Sunday with a touchdown pass to Owens and Garcia was the first guy to join Owens in the endzone to celebrate. Both players looked relieved to be back on track.

Sports Illustrated's Peter King pulled three interesting quotes together this week:

No. 1: "I know I'm right. There's nothing to apologize for ... I'm very proud that I said it."
--Rush Limbaugh, on his national radio show Friday, two days after his resignation from ESPN's Sunday NFL Countdown, commenting on his statement that the "media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well."

No. 2: "I told you so. I told you he might not know the difference between a screen pass and a screen porch."
--Denver tight end Shannon Sharpe, on Limbaugh.

No. 3: "All I will say is people need to stop being so sensitive."
--John Rocker, on Sporting News Radio.

There was some great defensive back play Sunday but nobody backpedaled any faster than ESPN's Chris Berman on the Countdown show.

My final word on the Limbaugh / McNabb issue. I won't deny that many folks have a bias toward players and want them to succeed. I'd say we all have it. But I'll contend the reason for the bias is one of two things: #1) They like the guy. # 2) They play for their team. Those are the players people pull for and I think in 2003, color just doesn't have much to do with it for most folks.

I actually heard a few people suggest that Marvin Lewis should have elected to take the wind and kick off after winning the overtime coin flip. No way. Not in a million years. I take the ball in a hurricane.

The Colts are 5-0 for the first time since 1977.

Watching the Johnny Unitas feature on ESPN the other day was great. I bet Peyton Manning is still pissed he backed down to the NFL's demand he not wear the black high tops after Unitas died. The "authorized" footwear for Indianapolis is white. If he had it to again, I bet he'd wear the black shoes and pay the fine.

Breaking out the rulebook to Rule 12, Section 3, Article 1.

There shall be no unsportsmanlike conduct. This applies to any act which is contrary to the generally understood principles of sportsmanship. Such acts specifically include, among others: . . .

(n) Clearly running forward and leaping in an obvious attempt to block a field goal, or Try-kick after touchdown and landing on players, unless the leaping player was originally lined up within one yard of the line of scrimmage when the ball was snapped.

Take a good look as you likely won't see it after this season.

Carolina's Stephen Davis seems like a genuinely nice guy.

Just can't get enough of that pre season NBA.

I'm with Shooter McGavin from our http://footballguys.net/forum/ message boards in that those Under Armor commercials kinda scare me. Those guys start hopping around with the "We must protect this house" stuff and it looks like they're about to break into a West Side Story dance / rumble.

I've been making fun of ESPN's new "hit" series, Playmakers. But seriously, why promote drugs and wife beating among athletes? I'm not naive enough to ignore it, but why promote it? And if you think they're not promoting it, what clips do they choose to run on their commercials?

Priest Holmes now has two straight games without a touchdown. If there is an owner in your league stupid enough to trade him, you should do him a favor and take Holmes "off his hands".

Ricky Williams (MIA) has only 16 rushing first downs, compared to the NFL leader Ahman Green, who has 34. (granted Williams has only played 4 games) but Stephen Davis (also only 4 games), is 2nd with 26 rushing first downs.

Tampa Bay and Indianapolis Monday was the best example I've seen in a while of proving the tired cliche' that it's a 60 minute game.

Green Bay's Ahman Green was let go by Seattle head coach Mike Holmgren back after the 1999 season. Green's fumbling problem was widely thought to be a factor. But after Sunday's win in Green Bay, Green was cool about it: "It was a business deal. I consider it a blessing. Coach Sherman and the Packers gave me an opportunity. It's been a work in progress ever since."

I'm not just on board the Quincy Carter Bandwagon, I'm driving. This young man has one of the key attributes for a young QB to possess - confidence. He's also a hard worker. He went straight from the training room after the Cardinal game to the film room. Throw that in with enough talent to succeed and I'm liking his chances. Yes, he'll put up clunkers likely but I'm now convinced this guy can play at this level.

Carter seemed almost embarrassed that coach Bill Parcells bragged on his work habits when he said sheepishly, "I don't want to make a big deal out of it".

Speaking of Parcells, it's no wonder people love the guy. When asked if his players were starting to understand things, he replied, "We've got quite a few guys that are starting to figure that out.(what it takes to win) Now, we haven't got all of them, trust me. We have a whole bushel basket of them that don't know what the hell is going on around here".

Riddle me this - I was browsing through the NFL.com jerseys the other day. I know different jerseys have different number styles and embroidery and such but it seemed interesting to me that an authentic home customizable Reebok Colts jersey was $189.99. Same thing for the Packers was $199. But the same style home jersey for Dallas is $304.99. Jeh-rey?

Great stat line of plays for running back Fred Taylor Sunday:

2-10-SD15 (7:20) F.Taylor left end pushed ob at SD 6 for 9 yards
3-1-SD6 (6:50) F.Taylor left guard to SD 1 for 5 yards
1-1-SD1 (6:32) F.Taylor up the middle to SD 1 for no gain
2-1-SD1 (5:48) F.Taylor up the middle for 1 yard, TOUCHDOWN.

Big reason for the Chiefs success that you don't hear a lot about: Their offensive line has started 21 consecutive games together as a unit. That's good and bad. As long as they stay healthy, everything's great. But on a unit that cohesive with the unspoken communication that comes with such familiarity, you can bet a new starter in that mix won't have an easy time.

Minnesota gained 31 yards rushing in the first half Sunday. They finished the game with 166 yards rushing. I guess you could say they addressed that issue at halftime.

I love Deion Sanders. But it still cracks me up that he's the host of American Sportsman.

Angie Harmon, wife of Rams defensive back Jason Sehorn revealed in a SELF magazine interview that since she's been pregnant, her dreams have been different. Says Harmon, "My dreams have gotten really heated lately. I'm a pretty vivid dreamer anyway. They're like epic films - and they're in color. Oh, my word! In one, I work at the BunnyRanch and Ben Affleck, Brendan Fraser, and Jeff Gordon are some of my regulars. I've only had those dreams since I've been pregnant. And it's not like I'm behind closed doors in them. I'm going after it in every way shape and form. Then I wake up in the morning with a huge grin on my face and Jason asks, 'Did you have Jeff Gordon again?' I say, 'No, sweetie, it was you.' " I can't believe I just printed that.

Jim Brown's a pretty frequent target here as I think he says some dumb things. But I'm a fair guy. ESPN's Dan Le Batard points out some of the positives he's involved in such as the work he does with gangs and inner city kids. He recently told Jesse Jackson to stop chasing headlines and do some good where there are no TV lights. Says Brown, "I don't want the respect of CEO's or fly on Trump's plane. I want the respect of poor people".

Tampa's Keyshawn Johnson wore an on field microphone for the Monday night game. He made several negative comments directed toward the Colts' Marvin Harrison and spoke of how he usually "dominated" when he faced one of his "classmates" from 1996 draft. Harrison let his on field play do the talking. Johnson finished with 4 receptions for 62 yards and watched his team lose from the sidelines while nursing a bruised thigh. Harrison finished with 11 catches for 176 yards and 2 touchdowns.

Did Jimmy Smith look like he'd spent the last six weeks in a rehab clinic to you? Good grief, he looked great. If I'm a head coach, I'm trying to find the name of that clinic.

Seattle's Matt Hasselbeck summed things up pretty well after Sunday's loss to the Packers: "It's tough to win when Brett Favre is having a Brett Favre day".

New Orleans' Deuce McAllister was suffering from the flu Saturday and Sunday. He took an IV prior to the game. The Saints might want to consider administering IV's to all the players as McAllister went out and posted 124 yards rushing plus another 59 yards receiving. Maybe it's just because it makes a good story, but it seems like you hear that often with a player putting up a great game while sick.

I wonder what the Maryland folks think of Panther Kris Jenkins' assessment of college life: "You practice in the afternoon, it's easy. You feel invincible. The teachers, you know, give you a little more leeway, so you can sleep through class, get notes from a girl or something like that and you're fine."

Be the one guy in your league to pronounce Carolina quarterback Jake Delhomme's name right. It's "Duh-Lohm". Interesting note on him this week from ESPN's The Magazine. As you'll remember, he replaced Rodney Peete in week 1 with his team 14 points down against Jacksonville. For the first 2 quarters of the new season, Carolina looked like the old Panthers and struggled. Delhomme entered the huddle and barked at his teammates, "Get your f****** heads up!" He then led them to a 24-23 victory and they've been rolling since.

Those guys on the Coors Night Out commercial have a full evening. I can't remember the last time I managed to squeeze sumo wrestling, dinner, cards, bowling and a hockey game all into one night.

Here's where it's gotten to for Jacksonville - Not a single TV market in Florida carried the game Sunday.

Weird note on Quincy Carter: Carter leads the NFL with 88 passing yards lost due to penalty. Just because I know you guys like stuff like that.

If nothing else the Limbaugh episode demonstrated how different folks feel on the issue. Even among our Footballguys readers. If you'll remember, I sent out the news that Limbaugh had resigned and prefaced it with my opinion that unlike Mr. Limbaugh, I was going to stick to football and leave it at that. I received an avalanche of email responding back even though I hadn't said anything. There were two emails in particular that caught my attention as they arrived thirty seconds apart. The first was from a reader apologizing for yelling at me, but he said that he was so mad that ESPN forced Limbaugh out that he had to vent to someone. The next guy wanted his money back and to cancel his subscription because I just reported the news and didn't rip Limbaugh. My "silence was deafening" to him and he was mad at me. Wow.

Hank Goldberg interviewed Tampa Bay's Simeon Rice. Rice is 6' 5". The size discrepancy had Goldberg staring at Rice's belt buckle. When Stuart Scott came back on he said, "Hank, stand on a crate or sumthin' "

Chicago rookie cornerback Charles Tillman didn't waste any time getting his feet wet with his first NFL start Sunday. He drew Jerry Rice for much of the day and held Rice to 3 catches and 51 yards. That's better than many corners have fared against Rice over the years.

I'm guessing the producers are just teasing the viewers so they'll sit through more commercials, but ESPN's Chris Mortensen never seems to have enough time to say all he wants to say. Especially on Sunday morning. He'll say he's out of time and to hang on for his next segment. Note to the program director: Can't you axe the Kenny Mayne stuff and give us more Mort?

Here's a good one:

Rod Smart, CAR, 34.0 yards per kick return, 8 returns, 2.0 returns/game Dante Hall, KC, 32.7 yards per kick return, 15 returns, 3.0 returns/game

Yes, that's Rod Smart of "He Hate Me" fame from the XFL. He had a 100 yard return Sunday. Stephen Davis says the guys actually call Smart "He Hate Me". That's just not right.

Torry Holt has 30 receptions, but only 2 of them were for 20 yards or more.

Didn't you think Laveranues Coles would have more than 1 TD by now? Me too.

The Browns finally scored a rushing TD and it wasn't William Green, who is 4th in the NFL in attempts (102). It was Tim Couch.

Following up his 6 TD performance with one of the greatest comebacks in history, I bet I don't get as much "Peyton Manning has never won the big game" email as I used to.

Jacksonville cornerback Fernando Bryant on trying to cover David Boston: "I have no problem saying, that's probably the most physically mismatched I will ever be, or any other corner will ever be. I have no problem saying that. Physically, not ability-wise, but physically, that
(Boston) is a freak of nature. I've never seen anything like it. The coaches tell you to go up and be physical with him. I mean, it's a physical mismatch. There's no way. Once he gets his hands on you . . . I mean, I'm 180 - wet. If he gets his hands on me, there's nothing I can do. All you can try to do is work the scheme of the defense and be where you're supposed to be and hold your leverage."

Leave it to the Cardinals to give up safeties on consecutive series.

Warren Sapp showed his colors by skipping (yes skipping) through the area where the Colts were stretching before Monday's game. (Of course, he waited until the Indianapolis players were all down on the ground in a "hurdler's stretch") Washington's LaVarr Arrington has already said that he won't allow Sapp to pull this on Sunday in Washington. And he looks serious to me. It might be worth tuning in early.

Every week, we'll list the Hard Luck players who just barely missed scoring. And we'll also list the players in parenthesis who benefited from their teammate's hard luck. If nothing else, it's great ammunition for rubbing a victory into your opponent. Not that we'd ever advocate that kind of thing.

MIA QB J. Fiedler rush from the 1 for no gain (Williams TD)
KC RB P. Holmes 5 yard TD pass to E. Kennison challenged and reversed (Andersen FG)
DEN CB D. O'Neal 64 yard punt return TD nullified for penalty
DEN RB C. Portis 3 yard rush to the 4
DEN RB C. Portis 1 yard rush to the 3
DEN RB C. Portis 1 yard rush to the 2
DEN RB C Portis minus 1 yard rush to the 3 (Elam FG - Note: Portis rushes were consecutive plays)
SF QB J. Garcia 26 yard pass to WR B. Lloyd to the 1 (Garcia TD)
DET QB J. Harrington 10 yard pass to TE C Fitzsimmons to the 2 (Gary TD)
CLE RB W. Green 2 yard rush to the 5
CLE RB W. Green minus 1 yard rush to the 6 (Couch to Davis TD)
CLE WR Q. Morgan 1 yard rush to the 1 (Dawson FG)
CLE RB W. Green minus 1 yard rush to the 4 (Dawson FG)
PIT QB T. Maddox 25 yard pass to WR H. Ward to the 1 (Bettis TD)
TB FB M. Alstott 1 yard rush to the 2
TB FB M. Alstott minus 1 yard rush to the 3 (Johnson to Barlow TD)
IND QB P. Manning 12 yard pass to WR R. Wayne to the 3 (Williams TD)
IND QB P. Manning 6 yard pass to WR T. Walters to the 3 (Mungro TD)
IND QB P. Manning 52 yard pass to WR M. Harrison to the 6 (Williams TD)
MIN RB O. Smith 1 yard rush to the 5 (Williams TD)
NE WR T. Brown 89 yard punt return TD nullified by penalty
NE QB T. Brady 18 yard pass to WR D. Branch to the 1 (Smith TD)
NE QB T. Brady 7 yard pass to WR D. Branch to the 1 (Cloud TD)
TEN RB E. George rush from the 1 for no gain (McNair TD)
GB QB B. Favre 7 yard pass to WR D. Driver to the 1 (Green TD)
GB QB B. Favre 8 yard pass to WR J. Walker to the 4 (Green TD)
GB RB A. Green 4 yard rush to the 2 (Favre to Henderson TD)
JAC QB B. Leftwich 37 yard TD pass to WR G. Wrighster nullified by penalty (Marler FG)
PHI RB C. Buckhalter 2 yard rush to the 4 (McNabb to Ritchie TD)
WAS RB L. Betts rush from the 1 for no gain (Ramsey TD)

And of course, for any of you folks with opponents starting IND PK Mike Vanderjagt, the infamous Simeon Rice leaping penalty negated the missed FG from 40 yards and allowed them another chance from 29 yards which bounced in.

Sometimes, it's better to just not know.

That'll do it for today, Folks. Here's to Football.

Joe

Joe Bryant is an owner of www.footballguys.com You can usually find him on Sunday afternoon staring at the Sunday Ticket broadcast muttering "this is so cool..."

Thanks to Footballguy Jeff "Wheelhouse" Haseley for the help on some of the stat findings.