Power rankings. Power. Strength. Muscles. Steroids. Nice connection I've made there, huh?.

In case you've been living in Barry Bonds' skull this week, I point you to the report of admission that the New York Yankees' Jason Giambi took illegal steroids. Now, this news doesn't come as shocking to most people. These guys have been expanding for years and now it appears it'll finally catch up to them, at least as far as public perception goes. But for a guy like Giambi, who spoke all about the rich history and tradition of the Yankee franchise at his press conference, and his father's love of Mickey Mantle, etc, etc., this has to be particularly embarrassing. Well - good! Much as I love baseball and the Yankees, this is indeed a dark day for all parties involved. It'll be interesting to see the fallout if/when Bonds does break Hank Aaron's career home run record. I, for one, find delicious irony in Bonds' pursuit. It's uncanny irony, really. Read on.

See, Barry Bonds was already well on his way to being a Hall of Fame baseball player, and would have gone down as one of the greatest players of all-time BEFORE he was ever introduced to the BALCO guys and started taking steroids. His reasoning for taking steroids was, obviously, to become a better player. Whether his motivation was more money or more glory is irrelevant, because he'd accomplish both with some help from the drugs. Now for the ironic part: during Bonds' pre-steroid years, he was consistently a 40 home run threat. He'd get his 40, contend for the MVP award, and do it all again the next year. Because of his decision to take steroids, he made himself a much better and much more feared all-around hitter. Pitchers no longer wanted to pitch to him, so they decided to walk him at an incredibly rate. Due to all of the walks, Bonds had fewer opportunities to hit home runs. So even though his home run rate was much better, his home run totals have not really increased from his pre-steroid days. Outside of 2001, when Bonds hit 73, he hasn't had a single home run season TOTAL that would have been all that unheard of for him. So by taking steroids, he has made himself a better and more feared hitter, but it has indirectly created fewer opportunities to hit home runs. Thus, his home run total has remained about the same. Had Bonds never gotten into steroids in the first place, it's pretty likely that he'd be fairly close to 700 home runs anyway, would have done it cleanly, and would currently be enjoying a feel-good run towards the top of the homer charts, free from scandal. Well, his records will forever be tainted, regardless of what comes out about him.

Why do I bring up all of this baseball talk in a football column? Because a football player is right now chasing a hallowed NFL record, one that appeared nearly impossible to break. And this football player is doing it without cheating. I've heard some people actually complain about this record pursuit, saying Peyton Manning is being selfish, and cares more about the record than he does about winning. Rather than knock the guy with such ludicrous assessments, let's celebrate a REAL, LEGITIMATE record pursuit. I mean, one gets the sense that Peyton Manning is headed towards the Dan Marino touchdown record free of illegality. Something tells me we aren't going to wake up five years from now and read that he was injecting human growth hormone into his stomach during this run. Enjoy the pursuit, and appreciate the excellence you are witnessing. We may never see something quite like it again. At least not without qualifiers.

MAIL

I should change the name of it from "mailbag" to "mailpocket". No bag is needed to carry the one e-mail I received this week. And no, I'm not bitter about it.

How bad is the second tier of NFL teams when Kyle Boller's Ravens are your fifth ranked team, and I can't piece together an argument in favor of any other team? Surely Pete Rozelle's Parity Parade has hit full stride. Thank God I live in Patriots Country.

Happy Turkey Day,
Bob Carey

Bob, we'll let your "we're better than you are reference" slide. Just kidding. It's understandable to be proud of a team that is amongst the NFL elite. There aren't many, as you know. The Ravens had been knocking on that doorstep recently, much of it due to the vast improvement of one Kyle Boller. Obviously, not having Jamal Lewis as a backfield mate certainly did not help things any against the Pats defense last week, and that game really drove home the difference between the elite and non-elite teams in the league. Your commentary is right on about the "Parity Parade" as well. A year ago, I played a Madden season with the Jets. Heading into the last week of the season, I picked up a win to take the division title against the 13-3 Dolphins. Amazingly, the winner of the AFC South was the 6-10 Jaguars. That's right, 6-10! Seemed almost impossible, but it happened. The fact that we could have an 8-8 or (gasp!) 7-9 NFC West champ should scare the crap out of a lot of NFL guys. Some say it's good that there are 3 elite teams, 3 or 4 hideous teams, and then a bunch of stuff in between. I, for one, can't say I'm in love with the setup of it, either, but it's the way it is and will be for the near future. Until the day we see a real 6-10 division champion, there isn't much that will be done about it.

Future questions/comments/rants should be sent to: [email protected]. Please be sure to include your name and hometown/home state so I can properly credit you in the article.

Rank…Team……...W/L…(Last week)

1. Pittsburgh Steelers 10-1 (1)
   They just always get it done, in a --- dare I say it --- Patriots fashion!



2. Philadelphia Eagles 10-1 (2)
   Has anyone brought up the possibility that the Owens signing may be the best in history?



3. New England Patriots 10-1 (3)
   Imagine they go 15-1 and end up as the two seed in the playoffs? Unlikely, but possible.



4. Indianapolis Colts 8-3 (4)
   Insert your own joke about Peyton Manning's prodigious touchdown total here: _____



5. Atlanta Falcons 9-2 (6)
   How has a 9-2 team managed to sneak up on everyone like this?



6. Baltimore Ravens 7-4 (5)
   Brian Billick's Christmas wish list: One speedy recovery by Jamal Lewis.



7. Denver Broncos 7-4 (7)
   I wonder why Denver would bench Plummer for Ted Kaczynski.



8. San Diego Chargers 8-3 (8)
   It's Week 12. The Chargers are in first place. Biggest glitch in Matrix history.



9. New York Jets 8-3 (10)
   It may not always be pretty, but they usually win the games they're supposed to.



10. Green Bay Packers 7-4 (11)
    Next challenge for Favre: he's facing surgery to remove Paul McGuire's lips from his butt.



11. Minnesota Vikings 7-4 (12)
    If they find a way to collapse THIS year, that would really be something.



12. Jacksonville Jaguars 6-5 (9)
    They've really disappointed in recent weeks. Quest for '04 Panthers status is in jeopardy.



13. Buffalo Bills 5-6 (14)
    Put this team in the NFC and you've got a likely division champ.



14. Saint Louis Rams 5-6 (15)
    The fact that they're one game away from controlling their own fate is startling.



15. Seattle Seahawks 6-5 (16)
    Their freefall is as baffling as Mischa Barton being more famous than Rachel Bilson.



16. Houston Texans 5-6 (17)
    Nice comeback win keeps faint playoff hope alive, but it's a successful season regardless.



17. Cincinnati Bengals 5-6 (19)
    So much for picking up the Bengals defense last week. D'oh!



18. Dallas Cowboys 4-7 (22)
    Many don't agree with the decision to go with Vinny, but the playoffs are still a possibility.



19. Carolina Panthers 4-7 (27)
    It's looking more tenuous each week, but I stick to the assertion that they are done.



20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 4-7 (13)
    Well, THAT was certainly a disappointment.



21. New York Giants 5-6 (18)
    Manning gives them the best chance to win, huh? Really? Really?!?



22. Tennessee Titans 4-7 (20)
    It's one thing to hint at retirement. But McNair is following up with specifics. The era is ending.



23. Kansas City Chiefs 3-8 (21)
    Despite being a Charger fan, I feel bad about what happened to KC in '04 - NOT! (Circa: 1992)



24. Cleveland Browns 3-8 (24)
    Well, Mr. Holcomb…I see someone had his Crunk Juice this week. Too bad he's out now, too.



25. New Orleans Saints 4-7 (25)
    Gotta hand it to them. Each week, they find new and interesting ways to lose.



26. Detroit Lions 4-7 (23)
    Well maybe if they didn't play two-hand touch against the Colts…



27. Chicago Bears 4-7 (26)
    This week, I give thanks that my team isn't the one that just signed Jeff George…



28. Arizona Cardinals 4-7 (28)
    If I didn't know any better, I'd think Dennis Green didn't want Josh McCown to be his QB.



29. Oakland Raiders 4-7 (29)
    I felt really dirty rooting for them to beat Denver the other night so SD could move into first.



30. Washington Redskins 3-8 (30)
    It's a shame this team doesn't have an offense. Sort of like the 2003 Dolphins, but worse.



31. Miami Dolphins 2-9 (32)
    Miami beating the Niners is the same as if the 2nd worst team in the NFL beat the worst team.



32. San Francisco 49ers 1-10 (31)
    It's going to be tough to climb out of this spot the rest of the year after losing to Miami.

Super Shufflers Of the Week (+)

1. Carolina Panthers +8…..Jumping eight spots this late in the season is fairly unheard-of, but their recent play warrants it. That, and being the defending NFC Champs earns them a little more respect than most would get.



2. Dallas Cowboys +4…..Just the fact that Parcells is talking playoffs lends more credence to a potential playoff run.



3. Cincinnati Bengals +2…..Not a huge jump, but it's warranted. Can they close this season as they did last year?

Plungers Of the Week (-)

1. Tampa Bay Bucs -7…..It's about time we put this playoff talk to bed now.



2. Jacksonville Jaguars, New York Giants, Detroit Lions (tied) -3…..Each team is in a completely different tier of quality, with the Jags the best of the bunch. Though that also makes their precipitous drop that much more important. The Lions drop was overdue, and the thrashing they took the other day justifies a move down.