Where is everybody?

After receiving many inquiries the first few weeks of the Power Rankings, I saw just one reader question anything this past week. What does this mean? Does it mean that you have all finally caved and acknowledged that these are THE definitive set of power rankings on the entire Internet? That you've never seen such logic and precision when putting together a list such as this one? Or, perish the thought, could it be that no one cares? No, no no, that third one isn't possible. But just in case, let's get the questions rolling to give myself some peace of mind.

In the past week, I've seen a message board thread devoted entirely to power rankings. Not mine, just in general. I say bring the questions this way! I'm openly inviting criticism. I'm asking - no, pleading - people to send me e-mails. You are given the clear opportunity to openly rip any decision I've made. Based on what I've seen on the boards, I would think this would be enough to entice people to get an opportunity to work themselves into an article where they get to tear apart a real live footballguys staff member. (And yes, I'm goading now). Anyway, on to the ONE SINGLE PIECE of mail…

Tom - Cleveland? I'm sure what you do is hard but I really think you missed the boat on Cleveland this week. You have five 1-3 teams in front of Cleveland, 2-2. If that isn't bad enough, both teams that Cleveland beat are in front of them, Baltimore in the top 10 at No. 9. Hey whatever! Hard to take it very seriously, though.

Tom, I must respectfully disagree here. Cleveland is, in my opinion, not a very good team. They've had their reasons - beset by injuries, ineffective offensive line play, a power-hungry head coach who has seemed out of his league for three years now - but the facts remain that of their two wins, I think Week one was a fluke and in Week four they beat a now-awful Redskins team. On that, I'll grant you that I should have strongly considered moving Cleveland at least ahead of Washington. But I tend to lend more rope to Hall of Fame coaches, players, etc. Gibbs doesn't appear to be in any position to turn that team around, and the Browns will move ahead of them this week. But as for Cleveland itself, I can't move them up ahead of others strictly on the basis of record. I could see if I had a 4-10 team ahead of an 8-6 Browns team, but we're talking a difference of one win. As I've said before, if these rankings were based strictly on W/L record alone, then all I'd have to do is plug in teams based on their current record and be finished with this article in a matter of minutes. Hmmm, not a bad id-no, no, I'll keep it the way it is.

Future questions/comments/rants should be sent to: [email protected]. Please be sure to include your name and hometown/home state so I can properly credit you in the article.

Rank…Team……...W/L…(Last week)

1. New York Yankees 2-0 (NR)
   Just for fun.

1. New England Patriots 4-0 (1)
   Anyone who doesn't give them their due is, to put it mildly, F'ING INSANE!



2. Indianapolis Colts 4-1 (2)
   "Uh yeah, I'll take Indy and lay the points. 37-point spread eh? Ah what the hell, go for it!"



3. Philadelphia Eagles 4-0 (3)
   No one heard me when I said the McNabb-to-Owens connection would be a bust, right?



4. Minnesota Vikings 3-1 (4)
   Randy Moss has us owners so spoiled, I openly complained that he didn't hit 100 yards Sunday.



5. Seattle Seahawks 3-1 (5)
   Just this one time, I'll call it a fluke. But if the defense pulls that again, it's time to worry.



6. Denver Broncos 4-1 (7)
   Seeing Droughns' stat line, I think I tore both my ACLs hustling to the computer for a pickup.



7. Jacksonville Jaguars 3-2 (6)
   Big game for them this week. The difference between 4-2 and 3-3 cannot be overstated.



8. Atlanta Falcons 4-1 (8)
   Police have called off the search for Peerless Price. Apparently he was seen playing last week.



9. Baltimore Ravens 3-2 (9)
   Don't be surprised if you hear that Kyle Boller is killed on the field sometime in the next 3 weeks.



10. New York Jets 4-0 (11)
    They MUST start burying teams, or that'll bite them. I want to see them play an elite team.



11. Pittsburgh Steelers 4-1 (12)
    I hope Big Ben doesn't pan out yet; I'm dreading having to type his name 400 times.



12. New York Giants 4-1 (13)
    With the 25th pick in the 2005 draft, the San Diego Chargers select…



13. Saint Louis Rams 3-2 (16)
    Fantasy owner's worst nightmare: Faulk is healthy, but he's been just mediocre.



14. Dallas Cowboys 2-2 (10)
    They seem to have just a little bit of everything, but not enough of anything.



15. San Diego Chargers 3-2 (24)
    I've seen this movie already. Fast start, quick plunge, early exit. I'll temper enthusiasm for now.



16. Tennessee Titans 2-3 (17)
    Recurring theme: First, Chris Brown listed as day-to-day. Second, Chris Brown - 100+ yards.



17. Detroit Lions 3-1 (25)
    They'll reach double-digit wins before I concede that they are totally legit. Call me stubborn.



18. Green Bay Packers 1-4 (14)
    This defense has more holes than Swiss cheese. Get it? Cheese! Ohhhh mercy.



19. Carolina Panthers 1-3 (15)
    All systems are go for the inevitable 'team that stinks after a Super Bowl loss' phenomenon.



20. Kansas City Chiefs 1-3 (22)
    Can this defense build on last game? Or was it just because it was Baltimore?



21. Oakland Raiders 2-3 (18)
    MB line of the week: Kerry Collins treats the red zone as if it's Joan Rivers at a swingers party.



22. Cincinnati Bengals 1-3 (19)
    A loss here may end hope of a .500 season, let alone a possible playoff berth.



23. New Orleans Saints 2-3 (20)
    I don't know what's a bigger travesty, the Saints or the 'Sweet Caroline' remake.



24. Cleveland Browns 2-3 (23)
    Anyone else get the feeling that Butch Davis and Garcia will fight to the death at some point?



25. Chicago Bears 1-3 (26)
    I have absolutely nothing interesting to say about them for this week, so I'll say nothing.



26. Houston Texans 2-3 (27)
    Word on the street is that Andre Johnson was created using titanium and brick.



27. Washington Redskins 1-4 (21)
    Let this be the lesson for all-time. NEVER trade a shutdown corner for a running back.



28. Buffalo Bills 0-4 (28)
    Best winless team in the NFL. Sort of a compliment, sort of not.



29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 1-4 (29)
    Brad Johnson was not the problem, but Brian Griese certainly is not the solution.



30. San Francisco 49ers 1-4 (31)
    Allow me to savor for a moment that I had Eric Johnson as the #11 TE preseason.



31. Arizona Cardinals 1-4 (30)
    When you blow a lead against one of the worst teams in football, you cement your spot here.



32. Miami Dolphins 0-5 (32)
    If this were Madden, they'd be ranked just below the Frankfurt Galaxy.

Super Shufflers Of the Week (+)
1. San Diego Chargers +9…I temper my enthusiasm for real life, but I have to give credit where it's due

2. Detroit Lions +8…I didn't want to move them up, but that's more a Lions bias than anything. They look pretty good.

3. Saint Louis Rams +3…Rams have now been super shufflers once and plungers twice - can you say 'inconsistency'?

Plungers Of the Week (-)
1.Washington Redskins -6…Wow. I mean really.

2.Carolina Panthers, Dallas Cowboys, Green Bay Packers (tied) -4…Amazing! Who'd have thought playoff-winning teams of a year ago would be struggling the following year? That never happens! (sarcasm)