It's been a banner week for predictions recently. Not just picking games, mind you, but predicting just about anything and everything.

For instance, last Saturday watching the Yankees/Twins game, with Ruben Sierra at the plate (sorry, I know baseball talk is normally off-limits but this is different), I predicted to those around me that Sierra was DEFINITELY hitting one of those classic Sierra shots on an outside hanger that will hit the seats on the Metrodome wall, followed by Ruben strutting around the bases for a tie game. Hey, people call home runs all the time but this was very specific.

(Speaking of that wall, you know how up in Boston the Red Sox added seats atop the Green Monster? Minnesota should try that concept for the Twins. The stadium is used for both baseball and football, so when the Twins play, the football seats are pushed up into the right-field wall. I say get those cash-strapped Twins some extra revenue and use those seats. Who wouldn't love to sit high atop the field, with their seat hanging off the side of a wall? Kick back, relax, and enjoy the game as your feet dangle 40 feet above the ground! Tell me this wouldn't be a bona fide hit. They could even consider keeping them there for Vikings games. By this point, we all know that Randy Moss can leap into puny, 8-foot high stands to celebrate with fans. What we want to see is if he can pick up enough steam to launch himself halfway to the Metrodome roof.)

As for other predictions, I saw my picks sitting pretty at a likely 9-3 heading into the Sunday night game, with my best bets at 3-1 and my lock of the week coming through. Then the Rams decided to play time machine and go back to 1999, thus ruining one of my best bets as well as my lock (Seattle). I won't hold a grudge. Probably.

But of all my predictions, the one I absolutely KNEW would come through was the prediction that more than a few people would write to let me know that I never picked the Packers/Titans Monday night game. I don't know what to say. It was an inexcusable fart of the brain variety. Now, I did write back to several people to let them know my pick would have been Tennessee all the way. Of course, I did not count that as a win for this week, or a loss. Rather, it'll fade away into oblivion - like Sylvester Stallone! Maybe you're wondering, "Hey why pick on Sylvester Stallone - what has he ever done to you besides make Rocky 5?" Well my answer is simple. He's the first person I thought of when I tried to come up with someone we never think of anymore. Although since I thought of him first, that might mean he's fresher in our minds than it seems. Either way, I've now devoted five full lines to Sylvester Stallone, which I must admit, makes me sort of uncomfortable.

Not as uncomfortable as FOX announcer Josh Lewin makes me, mind you (note the segue). For those who don't know who Josh Lewin is, he's one of FOX's play-by-play baseball guys (seriously, this will be the last mentioning of anything baseball-related until/unless the Yankees knock out the Red Sox this week). So anyway, Lewin did that Twins/Yankees game last Saturday with Steve Lyons. Prior to the game, the two men sat in the booth side-by-side discussing what to expect, what to look for, etc. Typical announcer stuff. But the entire time Lyons is speaking, Lewin has this insane-looking pseudo-smile on his mug. His eyes keep bugging out of his head. He continuously cocks his head to one side as he looks at Lyons, almost like a bird that can't quite figure out what it's looking at. And he just continues this crazy smile every two seconds. I swear, if there was a pool for "first professional sports announcer to be convicted of murder", Josh Lewin would easily top my list. He's frighteningly non-human! Not to pile on Lewin, but the serious speech impediment doesn't really help, either. This is no offense to people with speech impediments, but you'd think that someone with a severe speaking problem wouldn't get a job where their only responsibility is to speak. Wouldn't that be like hiring Tony Siragusa as an underwear model? By the way, I can't tell you how disconcerting it is to do a google search for "Tony Siragusa photos". Though it couldn't have been any worse than actually requesting to put said photo into this article. Normally, these sorts of things aren't asked of your editor:

Ok, I'm rambling again. This has nothing to do with football. It's just that life amazes me so much.

On to the picks…

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/odds.html

NEW ENGLAND (-4) vs. SEATTLE
I'm not ready to predict the end of the streak yet, but call me on Sunday and I may have changed my mind. I know, Seattle on the road, New England at home (not to mention my Power Rankings saying that anyone questioning the Pats is nuts). But it's one of those games. The Seahawks defense (which is still one of the league's best, regardless of what you saw last week) was embarrassed last week. The Pats are banged-up on the offensive side of the ball. Big advantage, Seattle. The Seattle offense has shown signs of bigger and better things to come recently, and the one perceived weakness of this Patriots team is their run defense. Slight advantage, Seattle. Of course, the home/road thing normally will cancel out any advantage the Seahawks may have skill-wise, but I think they'll hang tough this week. In fact, you know what? Screw it, I'll say Seattle wins. No wait, can I take that back? Ok, then I'll just stick to taking them with points. PICK: Seahawks

MINNESOTA (-3.5) at NEW ORLEANS
There are some weeks that you just know the Saints will lay an egg, and there are some weeks when they scare the absolute crap out of you. This week is the latter. We all know how inherently talented these guys are, and can turn it on at any point. When do they turn it on? Well, usually right around the time everyone is writing them off. Or at the beginning of the year, right BEFORE they write themselves off. This week's a tough call. I love the Vikings as much as the next guy, but when you let an offense like the Texans get back into it, I worry about what a team like the Saints can do on their home turf. This limb may snap and send me hurtling to the ground below, but I'm going to say PICK: Saints. (eek)

NEW YORK JETS (-10) vs. SAN FRANCISCO
The Jets have shown a few things thus far in the young season. First and foremost, this is an offense that is amongst the league's best. The running game is actually outperforming the passing game, and with Pennington at the helm, that's saying something. But one other troublesome trend is their lack of ability to put a team away. They get up on you, but then don't deliver the knockout punch. And if there's one thing the 49ers showed last week, it's that they must be absolutely knocked out if you're going to beat them. This has all the makings of a 35-28 affair, so I'll go with the dogs to keep it close. The Jets aren't an elite team just yet, and I'm not laying 10 points with a good but not great team. PICK: 49ers

TENNESSEE (-6.5) vs. HOUSTON
As much as I think the Titans are slipping (and I do think it's a lot), I don't think the Texans are quite ready to go into Tennessee and hang with them just yet. I love Andre Johnson staking his claim as the next T.O., and David Carr sure is quickly living up to that #1 overall billing. But the Titans still have a few more games left in them based off what I saw last week. Sure, the Titans pass defense is shoddy. Sure, the offense doesn't strike fear into teams like it once did.

(Strange, especially since the RB upgrade from Hall of Famer Eddie George to stud Chris Brown is unbelievably huge. It's like breaking up with Sandra Bullock and the next day, Jessica Alba calls you for a date. You always had the reliability, you couldn't complain, and there were some great moments. But in recent years it's been slipping, the writing's on the way that Bul-I mean George is past his prime, and then suddenly - hello! You never thought it could be THIS good. By the way, my apologies to those of you who will never again be able to see Sandra Bullock without thinking of Eddie George. Now back to our regularly scheduled football picks.)

As I was saying, the Titan offense isn't scaring people too much, but in a heads-up match, give me the Titan passing game against the Houston D any day of the week. That will prove the difference in this one. PICK: Titans

DETROIT (-2) vs. GREEN BAY
This is ludicrous. Doesn't everyone know most of Detroit's wins come on the road? Wink, wink.

My, how the mighty have fallen. My, how my use of the most trite clichés imaginable keep pouring out every single week.

The Packers, you may remember, were a Super Bowl contender coming into this season. One lunatic even went so far as to put them #4 in his initial Power Rankings. He went on to say that this Packers team has "the look". If what he meant by "the look" was that Brett Favre was walking like a man, hitting like a hammer, and HE'S got the look, na na na na na, na na na na na na, he's got the look, well then that I can agree with. And yes, I know everyone under 20 and over 50 is scratching their heads right now. And yes, I'm officially a lunatic. Anyway, it was I who said those things about Green Bay, which further illustrates my lunacy. You'll have to forgive me; I was busy sniffing glue and being smacked in the head with a wrench that week. But can you blame me? Well yeah, you can blame me for the glue-sniffing part. But can you blame me for thinking highly of Green Bay? Has any other championship-caliber team had such little turnover from one year to the next? Who didn't expect them to continue on their way to at least contending? The Lions, meanwhile, were everyone's pick for "team on the rise that isn't quite there yet". Thus far, however, despite the loss of Charles Rogers, they appear to be well on their way to being "there" a lot sooner than we all think. It's a chance for a big statement for the Lions, beating the Packers. So why don't I think they'll do it? Brett Favre.

A friend asked me before the season if I thought the Packers were a Super Bowl team. I said close, but not quite there. When asked, "Why, because of the defense?" my response was, "No, because of Favre." I had little faith in him leading them to a Super Bowl win. Not because he wouldn't make plays, but because he'd make too many BAD plays. It's been a long time coming, but we've seen cracks in the foundation lately. Hey, I love Favre as much as the next guy, which is why…

This week he comes up huge. Absolutely humongous. (Ha, threw you off there didn't I.) The Packers are an absolutely desperate team. They need Favre now as much as they ever have. The running game looks atrocious, the defense looks atrocious, and neither has shown an ability to come up with any answers. But Favre cannot be discounted. The Packers are down, and possibly out, but not Favre. It's been said many times before, but he has that "something" that enables him to rally his team when it is most needed. They need it now. And he will deliver. Of course, I also said Steve McNair was playing DEFINITELY two weeks ago, so what the hell do I know?

By the way, running a spell check on the word 'na' 12 consecutive times IS as annoying as you'd think. PICK: Packers

BUFFALO (-6.5) vs. MIAMI
The only reason the line on this game is 'just' 6.5 points is because the Bills haven't won, either. But trust me, they are an infinitely superior team to the Dolphins. Miami is even worse than their scores have indicated. Football teams are supposed to be built from the inside out. That is, start with the line and work back from there. O-Line, quarterback, running back, receivers, etc. Miami has done it in reverse order, and has now gotten stuck with a great back who retired, two big-talent receivers (one of which is gone for the year), and then hideous QB and offensive line play. Well done. It stinks for Miami, because if you could match this defense with even something resembling the New York Giants offense, you'd have a likely Super Bowl contender. As it stands, they have nothing of the sort. Only problem here is that Buffalo's offense isn't scaring anyone, either. There is always the possibility that Drew Bledsoe will throw more passes resulting in Miami points than Buffalo points. But I just think that the Dolphins offense will put the Bills in such prime positions on the field that the Bills will be able to piece together enough to take down the Fins. PICK: Bills

ATLANTA (-5) vs. SAN DIEGO
First off, let me just say that Warrick Dunn may just be the most frustrating fantasy player in the history of fantasy sports. It seems like every time he is written off, he comes back with a pretty big season. But then after each big season, he fizzles away to nothingness the following year. And the cycle repeats itself all over again. Ok, that was my min-rant for the day. Now for my BIG rant.

The Chargers just can't win. I don't mean this game, I mean in general. With each subsequent Drew Brees outing, it's becoming more and more clear that he can be and is a good NFL quarterback. He's got actual weapons to throw to in Gates and Tomlinson. He's doing an outstanding job. And Philip Rivers sits. Which is fine, because he shouldn't be seeing the lineup anytime soon. But here's the problem. With the Giants off to a fast start (they've already equaled the win total I predicted for the entire year), that means that next year's #1 will no longer be a marquee guy. Sure, it'll still be a first round pick but not nearly on the level that many expected. The Chargers just can't win for losing. And I don't want to see the inevitable situation where Rivers has to be given his shot and Brees is shown the door. I just don't see him as a Jon Kitna-type who will revel in helping along a young QB. Why? Because Brees is a young QB! And a seemingly good one at that. MAN! Ok, big rant over with.

That said, I will point out the obvious connection in this week's game - Vick and Tomlinson.

Prior to that draft, I told anyone who'd listen that if the Chargers passed on Michael Vick, I would stab my own eyes out with my thumbs. Of course, we all know what happened and the trade was made to get Tomlinson, with Brees falling into their laps. Because of their good fortune that day, my eyes remained thumb-free. I loved it. And still love it. There is no player in the NFL that I'd trade Tomlinson straight-up for, so I obviously love the deal. I think each player will be trying to show a little something extra. It goes without saying that players playing against their former teams have a little extra juice in them. These two are two of the most electric players in the league and will be forever tied by the trade. The Chargers defense has been surprisingly effective, and Atlanta's has been shockingly outstanding. The Atlanta offense has shown signs here and there, while the Chargers have been very solid all the way through. Sounds like an even matchup all the way around, which means 5 points is a little much. PICK: Chargers

CHICAGO (PK) vs. WASHINGTON
Yahoo listed the line on this game as zero, which I found to be very odd since the Redskins are one of the most disappointing teams in recent NFL history. The Bears aren't exactly monsters of the midway themselves, but they have the home field, the better running back, the better offensive line, and the better defense.

And if you didn't even bat an eye when I just said Thomas Jones is better than Clinton Portis, then I think I made my point about Washington being a disappointment. PICK: Bears

CLEVELAND (-3) vs. CINCINNATI
The last time these two met, Lee Suggs apparently earned the starting running back job for 2004. While that makes no sense, I do hope Suggs will be toting and toting well this week, as I need to rely on him for the next few weeks in several leagues where I own Jamal Lewis.
That aside, I truly believe Suggs CAN do the job this week. I think the Cleveland offense CAN come around. And I think the Chad Johnson stunt CAN be the funniest mid-week taunt I've ever seen. For those who don't know, he went each of the Browns' starting DBs a package containing a bottle of Pepto-Bismol, a reference to how they're going to be sick knowing they have to cover him. I'll say this about Johnson - he sure keeps it entertaining. But that aside, these are two teams on the wrong side of .500 and fading fast. A loss for either of them pretty much kills any playoff hopes, especially the Bengals. If you can't beat the Browns this week, then who will you EVER beat? The health and status of Peter Warrick would play heavily into my decision on this game, and if I could hedge my bet, I'd take the Bengals if Warrick plays and the Browns if Warrick sits. Think I'm giving too much weight to Warrick's presence? I say no way. He means that much. Sometimes, when players and coaches talk about the loss of someone, it's with a sense of "We'll get through it, we can overcome this", but with Warrick, it's almost like they're resigned to being a much worse team when he's not around.

Chad Johnson was asked if he missed Warrick on the field. "A lot. A lot. A lot," he said. "He takes a whole lot of pressure - I wouldn't call it pressure - he takes some of the tension away from me."

A lot. A lot. A lot. That's how much they miss him. I assume he'll be playing, so I'll shakily take Cincy. PICK: Bengals

SAINT LOUIS (6.5) vs. TAMPA BAY
Rams offense = alive! The fact that the Rams came back from such a deficit and it wasn't even the usual suspects doing it has GOT to give them a ton of confidence heading into this one. The Rams need a win here to maintain their momentum as they head towards a possible playoff berth (something I thought was impossible with how they played early on). Also keep in mind that this game is in the ol' dome, where the Rams are normally even better. The 6.5 line on this game should be disregarded, because it won't come into play. Either you think Tampa's defense is going to show up huge for once and lead them to a convincing win, or you think the Rams will smack Tampa Bay around and dominate from start to finish. Based on what I've seen, I'll go with the latter. PICK: Rams

BEST BETS

DENVER (-1.5) at OAKLAND
So let's see if I have this right. Kerry Collins goes up against two weak pass defenses and responds with 27 turnovers. Denver keeps on winning and has seemingly found ANOTHER quality running back. Oakland is having issues on both sides of the ball. Denver is playing solidly all the way around. And the line on the game is a measly 1.5 points. I know the game's in Oakland, but please take into account the actual quality of team here, ok? PICK: Broncos

PHILADELPHIA (-8.5) vs. CAROLINA
A big Eagles fan friend of mine asked if he should take Philly this week and lay so many points against the Panthers. I hadn't seen the line on the game yet, so I guessed it was about 10. At the time, his line had it at 9.5. Amazingly, in Week 5, I fairly accurately predicted a nearly double-digit line for the previous season's NFC Super Bowl participant. If you don't think that's telling as to how far the Panthers have fallen, then you haven't been watching much football this year. PICK: Eagles

KANSAS CITY (-2) at JACKSONVILLE
So, Jacksonville loses a couple of games and now they're underdogs against the bad Chiefs at home? That's right, I'm calling them the bad Chiefs. Why? Because they're bad. And Jacksonville is pretty good. Leftwich has shown signs of life the past few weeks, and no one is convincing me that the Chiefs defense is fixed until/unless they do it again. Now, it wouldn't be unprecedented for a team to reverse its defensive fortunes midseason. I watched as the New York Jets did just that in the 2001 and 2002 seasons. But like I said, I need to see proof. And since I won't get that proof until after this game is played, I have to take not only the home team, not only the team I think is better, not only the team getting the points, but the better team, who happens to be an inexplicable home dog AND one that is going up against a still-pitiful defense. PICK: Jaguars

DALLAS (-3) vs. PITTSBURGH
I admit it; I was too high on the Cowboys. And I'll also admit that I haven't been high enough on the Steelers. Every year, I'm the biggest proponent I know of the offensive/defensive coordinator impact on a team. For some reason, I didn't give as much credit as I should have to Dick LeBeau, who only put together one of the best defenses in the league for several years in his first go-round with the Steelers. Now he's back in town, and suddenly Pittsburgh is shutting down running backs, sacking the quarterbacks, creating defensive turnovers, etc. Bill Cowher has the offense playing smash-mouth with the occasional deep ball to one of his stud wideouts to keep everyone honest. It's like Cowher went to bed last offseason, woke up in July, and thought it was 2001. Dallas, on the other hand, is being called stupid by its coach (not idiots, which would apparently be an endearing term). They can't run, they had trouble throwing on the Giants, defensively they're a mess outside of Roy Williams. It just doesn't look good for them. Parcells is doing a nice job of trying to get into Ben Roethlisberger's psyche with his Marino comments, but if Big Ben didn't wilt by now, I don't think a few flowery words from Parcells are going to do it. PICK: Steelers

LOCK OF THE WEEK: Eagles

By the numbers

• Last week
  Overall: 9-4 (10-4 counting Tennessee)
  Best bets: 2-2
  Lock of the week: 0-1
• Year to date
  Overall: 28-27-2 (50.9%), but 29-27-2 counting Tennessee
  Best bets: 9-7 (56.25%)
  Lock of the week: 2-2 (50%)

Come on, let me count Tennessee!