Here's what happens when you sit an NFL Junkie down in front of multiple big screens with Sunday Ticket and fresh batteries in the remote.

A Twisted Look at The NFL Every Week And All That Goes With It

By Joe Bryant

The Giants first drive Sunday ended with a punt. Their 2nd and 3rd drives of the day ended with a touchdown. Their next thirteen drives ended this way: Fumble, Punt, Punt, Punt, Fumble, Interception, Interception, Punt, Fumble, Punt, Turned Over on Downs, Punt, Turned Over on Downs. I'm sure there's a football term for that but I don't know what it is. Probably something like "Tailspin".

I sent out my annual "Thank You Veterans" email today for Veteran's Day. Thank you to the hundreds of people that emailed me positive notes. As always, I had a few guys who took offense. My favorite was this one: "So don't give me that freedom don't come free crap. I paid for this god **** service and I don't want to receive your personal conservative blasts. Save that crap for the newsgroups that don't cost $30."

I'm not sure when thanking Vets became "conservative blasts" but whatever. This gentleman gets a full refund and we won't be bothering him any more with these pesky Footballguys emails. Oh well. He didn't mention whether he drafted Kevan Barlow or not on my advice but I suspect that's factoring in somewhere…

You probably saw Detroit wide receiver Roy Williams pull down the one handed circus catch Sunday. Coach Steve Mariucci just laughed when he turned to Dre' Bly on the sidelines and said, "You teach him that?"

Didn't you expect a little more out of Anquan Boldin's return?

Cleveland scored Sunday night before 14 seconds could tick off the clock. Over the next 59:46, they managed just 6 more points.

Drew Brees is on fire.

San Diego tight end Antonio Gates made backup strong safety Mel Mitchell look bad for New Orleans. Doug Flutie was riding Gates on the sideline saying scoring on #40 didn't count. Charger backup QB Phillip Rivers chimed in with, "That dude couldn't cover me."

Seattle's Darrell Jackson made us all look bad Sunday. He was a game time decision for Sunday. He got the green light after pre game workouts and then exploded for a great game with 114 yards and 2 TDs. And it could have been 4 TDs as two of Shaun Alexander's rushing touchdowns came following Jackson receptions to the 4 and the 1 yard line.

Pittsburgh's Ben Roethlisberger threw a touchdown Sunday to TE Jay Riemersma. I'm sure there's a good Scrabble / Wheel of Fortune joke in there somewhere with Roethlisberger to Riemersma.

New Orleans' Jim Haslett didn't beat around the bush: "The just beat our butts."

Denver's locker room had that "last day of school" feel as they won a big game and knew they were headed into a bye week. Coach Mike Shanahan addressed the team saying, "Great win, come in tomorrow and get your lifts in." The room groaned. Then he said, "Just kidding."

Funniest ESPN line of the day on Sunday: The Sunday night guys made the comment in the Baltimore - Cleveland game that Raven coach Brian Billick was "gracious enough" to wear a microphone during the game in order to give the listeners a more in depth look at the game. I'm guessing they really had to twist his arm on that one. (And for the zillionth time, I think he's a great coach)

Baltimore's Kyle Boller had a long completion of 19 yards Sunday. For comparison, Tampa's Brian Griese completed 6 passes of 20 yards or more. Not sure what that means…

Baltimore's Clarence Moore is one of the taller receivers in the league at 6' 6". I've often wondered why teams don't recruit a basketball center for goal line plays. Can you imagine Shaq lined up as a TE in the red zone? He'd "post up" the linebacker and the safety and be unstoppable.

Speaking of basketball, I wonder if they'd let us swap the NBA for NHL hockey?

I'm a little worried about Dallas coach Bill Parcells. He looked to be taking Sunday's loss pretty hard. "There's no explanation for it other than we're poorly coached and we played bad. I don't know where we go from here. If anywhere."

Parcells didn't sound too jovial the day after Jerry Jones told reporters he would discuss personnel matters with the coach following last Sunday's loss. "Jerry's not making the personnel changes, I am."

You think the Patriots missed Corey Dillon? His first rush was for 14 yards. In week 8, New England rushed for 5 yards in the entire game.

You had to pay attention in the New England game. Kicker Adam Vinatieri threw a TD pass. Linebacker Mike Vrabel caught a TD pass as a tight end. And wide receiver Troy Brown saw time at nickel cornerback when Asante Samuel hurt his shoulder. The Patriots are Boy Scouts: Prepared.

Washington's Joe Gibbs sounded pretty amused with the Clinton Portis touchdown pass. "He's been calling for that trick play for 8 weeks. He swore to me he could throw the football. After he did it, he wanted to throw it again. He said, 'They won't expect it this time.' "

Definition of a classy coaching move Sunday. Pittsburgh was driving late in the 4th quarter. With 1st and goal from the 7, there was still 2:48 on the clock. Not enough time to run off with kneel downs. Ben Roethlisberger took 3 consecutive kneel downs. On 4th and goal from the 12, they took a fourth consecutive kneel down instead of kicking the easy field goal. Pittsburgh turned the ball over on downs to Philadelphia with :35 on the clock. Cowher's been in this game long enough to know that what goes around comes around.

What team has outscored their opponents over the last two games 102-37? The San Diego Super Chargers. They're also the answer to the trivia question from last week. It was San Diego that replaced their mid field logo with a Jack-o-lantern on Halloween.

Speaking of the Charger's hot streak, they're doing all this while running back LaDainian Tomlinson is the #20 ranked RB over the last three weeks.

"Rock, meet bottom." -- Charlotte Observer staff writer Pat Yasinskas' opening line in Monday morning's recap of the Panthers loss to Oakland.

If Kansas City's Larry Johnson didn't need Pampers before, his owners needed them Sunday. On consecutive plays, Johnson rushed from the 1 yard line and came up small both times.

Here's how it went for Browns fans Sunday. On 4th and 9 from their own 2 yard line, the Browns line up to punt. Cleveland manages a 7 yard punt that gives the Ravens the ball on the Cleveland 9. Three Jamal Lewis rushes later, Baltimore scores.

San Francisco's Dennis Erickson says every word accompanied by one long sigh. It's almost like he's forcibly exhaling the entire time he's talking.

How does Buffalo allow 23 sacks going into week 9 and then hold the Jets and John Abraham to no sacks?

Between Baltimore's all black and Arizona's solid red uniforms, haven't we seen enough to tell the solid color pants and jerseys just don't get it? Although neither uniforms were as bad as the Bengals' orange jerseys. They looked like that orange striped Digimon. Hey, when you have four kids, you know Digimon…

I told you guys about Aaron Brooks.

I find myself hoping the Chiefs get the ball back now just so Johnnie Morton can score and do his worm dance.

Even with a depleted secondary, New England kept the Rams passing game in check with a relentless pass rush. Marc Bulger was hurried and knocked down nearly every play. When a reporter asked coach Mike Martz after the game why the Rams weren't able to exploit the Patriot secondary, Martz asked the reporter if he'd seen the game.

I bet the Rams hate Adam Vinatieri. If he's not killing them with a kick in the Super Bowl, he's throwing a TD pass to Troy Brown Sunday.

Minnesota's Corey Chavous seems like an excitable guy. After Moss scored an early season TD, Chavous shouted, "That boy make it look EASY right there!"

Everyone talks about how big Viking QB Daunte Culpepper is. He's not as big as Colts DE Dwight Freeney though. Freeney outweighs him by 5 pounds…

Mike Irvin described Brian Griese as Goldilocks: "He went to Denver and it was too cold. Went to Miami and it was too hot. But Tampa Bay is just right."

Stu Scott's "hip hop flavah" rap intro for Bryant McKinnie was brutal. Luckily for Scott, McKinnie was worse.

Eagles QB Donovan McNabb tried to make light of the much publicized Terrell Owens discussion where Owens appeared to be yelling at McNabb on the sidelines. Said McNabb, "Yeah, I forgot to pick up his newspaper yesterday and he was reminding me."

Many people will say the NFL is about running the football and stopping the run. Those people have to be liking Pittsburgh. The Steelers rank #1 in rushing and #1 in rushing defense.

Jerome Bettis looked satisfied after the game Sunday. "It was real good to get out there and show that my ability is still there. It's just that the opportunities aren't there. And the opportunities aren't there because it was my choice. To stay here and be in the role that I'm in. I understood what was going on. It was one of those situations where the franchise has to think about the future. And I understand that. I just wanted to be a part of this team, and this city and I didn't want to leave."

Ben Roethlisberger on Bettis: "That's why he's the mayor of this city."

Bettis was rubbing it in to Duce Staley owners Sunday though. During a taped segment, Bettis was asked what kind of goal line runner Duce Staley was. Bettis laughed and said, "I don't know, I haven't seen him at the goal line."

I've been on the Ben Roethlisberger band wagon since it pulled out from the station. But if you asked me the MVP of that offense, I'd tell you it's guard Alan Faneca. And on defense, linebacker James Farrior doesn't get nearly enough credit nation wide.

Miami's Randy McMichael had this sobering thought: "We've lost to two of the worst franchises in football this year. What does that say about us?"

KC safety Jerome Woods is probably talking a little more openly than he should admitting they were confused by Tampa's offense: "Gruden gave us different looks. They were moving guys around. A couple of times out there I can honestly say we were lost."

Coach Dick Vermeil was asked if his defense took a step backwards: "We gave up 34 points. When you give up 34, you're not going forward."

Baltimore's Ed Reed was on the press conference podium before they even let him take his shoulder pads off.

ESPN's Tom Jackson summarized T.O.'s stance: "If you don't throw it to me, bad things will happen." I'm not sure I disagree with that.

I bet Ohio State fans wish Maurice Clarett had been able to go pro. When asked if about his pro prospects and how NFL GMs see him, Clarett had these gems. "I'm thinking, 'NFL GMs know college players take money,' " Clarett says. "It was nothing like I stole something. Nothing like I'm running from the law or I'm dragging a girl down the stairs. No domestic violence. No nothing. [But] I got to clear myself up now, because it's affecting the minds of the GMs."

Denver scored 31 points against the Texans despite driving inside the 20 only once, scoring four times (three touchdowns, one field goal) from outside the red zone.

Week 9 Glitch in the Matrix: Both Miami QBs Jay Fiedler and A.J. Feeley threw for 129 yards.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Jake Delhomme is a heck of a nice guy, but maybe he's not nearly as good as we thought. Or maybe he's about as good as we used to think. Back when he was backing up Rodney Peete.

It was an up and down day for Oakland's Amos Zereoue. On his first 6 carries, he had a net zero yards. On his seventh, he scored on a 7-yard run.

Both the Gramatica brothers missed an extra point Sunday. Has that ever happened?

How can you fail to cover Antonio Gates? He's the biggest receiver on the field.

Here's one reason Dennis Erickson's hair is gray. 49er kick returner Maurice Hicks fielded a kick at the goal line. And ran out of of bounds at the 1 for a 1 yard return. San Francisco actually started two drives at their own 1 yard line.

Hard Luck Awards

• BUF RB McGahee rush for no gain from the 2 (Lindell FG)
• BUF RB McGahee 1 yard rush to the 5
• BUF QB Bledsoe 1 yard rush to the 4 (Bledsoe to Evans TD)
• BUF RB McGahee rush for no gain from the 4
• BUF RB McGahee -8 yard rush to the 12 (Lindell FG)
• SEA QB Hasselbeck 10 yard pass to WR Jackson to the 1 (Alexander TD)
• SEA QB Hasselbeck 21 yard pass to WR Jackson to the 4 (Alexander TD)
• WAS QB Brunell 1 yard TD pass to TE Royal nullified by penalty (Kimrin FG)
• DET QB Harrington 33 yard pass to the 1 to Hakim (Schlesinger TD)
• NO QB Brooks 12 yard pass to the 5 to TE Williams (McAllister TD)
• MIA QB Feeley 35 yard pass to the 1 to WR Booker (Morris TD)
• ARZ RB Smith -1 yard rush to the 4 (McCown to Fitzgerald TD)
• DEN K Elam 46 yard FG nullified by penalty
• HOU QB Carr 9 yard pass to the 5 to WR Armstrong (Davis TD)
• PIT QB Roethlisberger 26 yard pass to the 5 to RB Haynes (Roethlisberger to Riemersma TD)
• NE RB Dillon 9 yard rush to the 2 (Brady to Vrabel TD)
• NE RB Pass 2 yard rush to the 5
• NE QB Brady 1 yard pass to the 4 to RB Pass (Vinatieri to Brown TD)
• NE QB Brady 9 yard pass to the 5 to WR Givens (Dillon TD)
• NE RB Dillon 6 yard rush to the 4
• NE RB Dillon rush for no gain from the 4 (Brady to Johnson TD)
• STL QB Bulger 10 yard TD pass to WR Curtis Challenged and Reversed
• TB RB Pittman 3 yard rush to the 4
• TB QB Griese 3 yard pass to the 1 to RB Cook (Pittman TD)
• TB QB Griese 19 yard pass to the 3 to WR Galloway (Griese to Dilger TD)
• TB QB Griese 6 yard pass to the 3 to RB Cook (Pittman TD)
• KC QB Green 14 yard pass to the 4 to TE Gonzalez (Holmes TD)
• KC QB Green 29 yard pass to the 1 to TE Gonzalez
• KC RB Johnson rush for no gain from the 1
• KC RB Johnson rush for no gain from the 1 (Green to Dunn TD)
• CIN RB Johnson 5 yard rush to the 2 (Palmer TD)
• IND RB James 5 yard rush to the 4 (Manning to Clark TD)
• OAK QB Collins 5 yard pass to the 1 to RB Redmond (Wheatley TD)
• CAR QB Delhomme 22 yard pass to the 1 to WR Colbert (Delhomme to Mangum TD)
• CAR QB Delhomme 34 yard pass to the 3 to WR Proehl (Delhomme to Goings TD)
• NYG QB Warner 6 yard pass to the 3 to TE Shockey (Barber TD)
• NYG QB Warner 20 yard pass to the 1 to TE Shockey (Barber TD)
• NYG RB Barber 13 yard TD nullified by penalty
• NYG QB Warner 10 yard pass to the 1 to WR Hilliard (Warner to Shockey TD)

Sometimes it's better to just not know.

Thanks for playing along and have fun.

Thanks to Footballguys Tyler Chastain and Bob Harris for the help on this one. If you've got a Random Shot of your own, send it to me at [email protected].

Have a great one.

Joe

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Joe Bryant
Owner - www.Footballguys.com