Hi Folks,

Here's what happens when you sit an NFL Junkie down in front of
multiple big screens with Sunday Ticket and fresh batteries in the
remote.

A Twisted Look at The NFL Every Week And All That Goes With It

What are you thankful for? Me, I'm thankful that I've still got a
handful of goofball friends like you that'll hang with me after three
months…

Let's see if I can go the entire column without thrusting my self
righteous / pompous / arrogant / never ending opinions of the NBA
brawl on you. If I can, I'll be the sole sportswriter in America to
pull it off.

Would anything bad happen if Muhsin Muhammad or Az-Zahir Hakim caught
a "Hail Mary" pass? I'm just asking.

Aaron Brooks threw the ball 60 times Sunday. Joey Harrington was the
only guy to throw a pass for Detroit and he threw the ball 19 times
Sunday. Green Bay wide receiver Javon Walker saw almost as many
targets (15) as Harrington threw total passes.

Speaking of passes thrown, I hope the guys whining that "Peyton
Manning is a jerk and just trying to pad his stats for the record"
take notice he threw a whopping 28 passes Sunday and sat out most of
the 4th quarter. He still managed 4 TDs though.

Note to Eli Manning and Drew Henson - welcome to the big leagues, Son.
It'll get better. Although it might get worse first.

I think LaDainian Tomlinson is feeling better. The Chargers rushed him
37 times Sunday. Outside of full back Lorenzo Neal's one rush, no
other Charger running back carried the ball.

Here's a good series:

1-10-OAK31 (14:13) Tomlinson to OAK 28 for 3 yards
2-7-OAK28 (13:33) Tomlinson to OAK 26 for 2 yards
3-5-OAK26 (12:52) Brees pass to Gates to OAK 14 for 12 yards
1-10-OAK14 (12:18) Tomlinson left end pushed ob at OAK 12 for 2 yards
2-8-OAK12 (11:49) Tomlinson up the middle to OAK 6 for 6 yards
3-2-OAK6 (11:09) Tomlinson up the middle for 6 yards, TOUCHDOWN.

Welcome to week 12. Footballguy consigliere, Tyler Chastain, called me
up today and asked who I liked best this week among his RBs Ahman
Green, Nick Goings and Chester Taylor. And it was a good question.
Things move fast around here. Keep up.

Denver running back Kyle Johnson has only five receptions on the
season but two have gone for TDs. That's a pretty strong ratio.

New Orleans' Deuce McAllister saw 15 passes thrown his way Sunday. He
only carried the ball 13 times. It's not too often when the starting
running back sees more pass targets than carries. But this is the
Saints. All bets for "normal" are off.

Jacksonville's David Garrard and Tennessee's Steve McNair put on a QB
"clinic" Sunday. Garrard finished with a 46.7 QB rating while McNair
posted a blistering 64.4. Elway – Favre this was not.

What's your favorite Thanksgiving food? I love our Hickory Smoked
Turkey. (The secret is the 12 hour saltwater / sugar brine before
smoking). ESPN's Stuart Scott asked the Monday Night crew this
question and Mike Irvin replied that he liked chitlins. Scott replied,
"You are a real black man." I'm glad Ron Jaworski didn't say that.

Detroit's Kevin Jones finished the game with 100 yards on 19 carries.
That's a great game but still a disappointment considering that Jones
had 95 yards on 15 carries at halftime.

Is Detroit's Eddie Drummond the new Dante Hall? With Sunday's
performance, Drummond became the only player besides Hall to return
two punts and two kickoffs for TDs in a single season.

Riddle me this: With Onterrio Smith, Michael Bennett and Moe Williams
in the game, how does Daunte Culpepper lead the team in rushing
Sunday. And do it with 35 yards?

Mike Holmgren had this line on Matt Hasselbeck's injury. "This is the
most serious charley horse in the history of charley horses." It would
be sort of funny if we weren't talking about Seattle's starting QB on
the bench.

Is there a wide receiver in the game who gets hurt more often than Joe
Horn? I'm not saying he's not tough as he plays through most all these
injuries. But it's sort of the Steve McNair – Peyton Manning thing.
Would you rather have a guy like McNair that constantly has to play
hurt, or a guy like Manning who isn't always hurt?

What an athlete does on his own time shouldn't really affect the game.
As long as he produces on the field, everything should be ok. Just ask
Koren Robinson owners…

Everyone involved is officially terribly sorry about the Terrell Owens
Monday Night Football intro. But then ESPNews ran the story every 10
minutes. And when they weren't running the story, they ran commercials
for the offending TV show. I'm sure the ABC / ESPN connection was just
a coincidence. Nothing like a little self generated "news" to help
further the ratings of a sister show. I don't mind the network cross
promoting their products. Just don't act like I'm stupid and offer a
fake apology when you're busy shamelessly reaping the rewards of what
you're publicly apologizing for.

You read that right, Marshall Faulk carried the ball 13 times for 6
yards Sunday. Five of nine carries in the second half went for
negative yardage.

How many times is it physically possible for FOX's James Brown to say
the word "Pay Dirt" in a 10 second Game Break clip? I honestly think
he doesn't have a limit.

College Football Note. Steve Spurrier will be the new coach at South
Carolina. I joked a few weeks ago about Florida Athletic Director
Jeremy Foley. Apparently, part of the friction between Spurrier and
Foley came when Spurrier was asked to fax his resume into the Florida
Athletic Department so they could consider him for the coaching job.
Spurrier supposedly told Foley something along the lines of "Stick
your head out in the hall and look in the #### trophy case" if he
wanted to see Spurrier's resume. That's kinda funny.

Glitch in the Matrix: Archie Manning, Peyton Manning and Eli Manning
all threw a 6 yard TD for their first NFL touchdown pass.

Carolina QB Jake Delhomme seemed to handle his broken thumb injury
well. "Don't get me wrong – it doesn't feel good, but it's good
enough".

Nine of the sixteen teams playing on the road won Sunday. Does it seem
to you that winning on the road used to be tougher?

I thought ESPN had found the bottom with the Pete Rose Hu$tle "movie".
I saw the preview for "Three" with Dale "All I wanna do is race,
Daddy" Earnhardt and realized I was wrong. Is there some kind of
hidden clause in the ESPN original programming contract that
stipulates the actor playing the main character must look nothing like
the real guy? I'll put good money on there being 10,000 guys at the
next Panthers game who look more like Earnhardt than the guy ESPN
found.

I loved Tom Jackson's interpretation of Bill Parcells' coach speak as
he "translated" the Parcells "we're stupid" comments. Said Jackson,
"The 'We're stupid' card is the second to last card in the deck. After
you play that one, you only have the 'We're not talented enough to
win' card."

Peyton Manning's advice to his brother, Eli: "This is the NFL. Give it
the respect it deserves. That is going to be Ray Lewis over there."

Didn't Dallas safety Roy Williams used to be better? A lot better?

Dan Marino seems to be taking the Manning record chase thing in
stride. He said he was ok with it but his wife was struggling. "If
Manning doesn't slow down, she's going to be the Tonya Harding of the
NFL."

Marino was asked what advice he'd give Manning. He replied, "He
doesn't need advice from me. He's doing fine."

Speaking of the Manning – Marino thing, Troy Aikman put the 48 TD mark
into perspective. "It took me three seasons to get 48 TDs".

"It's the worst performance I've seen by them in the 20 years that
I've owned them. They looked just like high school kids." -- Saints
owner Tom Benson following Sunday's loss. Who'll take the fall first,
QB Aaron Brooks or head coach Jim Haslett? Or both?

Hold the phones. Not just one, not two but all THREE former American
Idol winners will be together for a Christmas Reunion. Kelly, Ruben
and Fantasia all on one stage? Color me giddy.

Buffalo TE Mark Campbell scored three touchdowns Sunday. Yeah, we saw
THAT coming…

I don't know where you draw the "line" for hair. But I'm pretty sure
Pittsburgh's Troy Polamalu is pushing it.

Oakland's cheerleaders, the Raiderettes, were delayed getting into
their locker room because the locks had been changed. I don't make
these up. And I'd lay even money one of our Footballguy subscribers
had a hand in this.

Hindsight is 20-20 but I don't know many people who didn't seriously
question the wisdom of coach Denny Green benching Josh McCown for
Shaun King. Clearly, McCown was struggling but the team was putting
"W's" on the scoreboard.

After the game, Green said "We decided to start Shaun King because I
think we've got to play better offensively," Green said. "In 31 years
of experience, I made the decisions that I think will help us win. And
I'm probably right a hell of a lot more than I'm wrong."

That a way to shoulder the responsibility there, coach. This move
reminds me of the Fantasy owner who just has to make a trade or juggle
his lineup just for the sake of making a move.

Think the Patriots are glad to have Corey Dillon? Here's a good series
from Monday Night:

1-10-KC14 (10:12) Dillon right end to KC 9 for 5 yards
2-5-KC9 (9:35) Dillon left end pushed ob at KC 1 for 8 yards
1-1-KC1 (9:05) Dillon up the middle to KC 1 for no gain
2-1-KC1 (8:30) Dillon up the middle for 1 yard, TOUCHDOWN.

Carolina Punter Todd Sauerbrun has been fined roughly $40,000 this
season for not making his weight, 217 pounds. With kicker John Kasay
injured, Sauerbrun told the team he'd handle the kicking duties if
they refunded some of his money.

Coach John Fox nipped that in the proverbial bud: ''I hate to
disappoint him, but he ain't kicking and he ain't getting his money
back.''

An easy NFL Field Trivia Question for you. As many of you correctly
answered, San Diego was the team that featured the very cool
Jack-o-lantern replacing their normal mid field logo a few weeks back.
Which stadium always features a mid field logo that doesn't match the
team?

Proof that great players have their weaker moments: Eagle QB Donovan
McNabb hit a pass to move to Washington's 30 yard line as the clock
ticked down in the 2nd quarter. With no time outs left, everyone
hustled to the line so McNabb could spike the ball and stop the clock.
McNabb lined up and barked the signals. Trouble is, he lined up behind
the guard. The center snapped the ball and McNabb had to fall on it.
The Eagles were flagged for a false start and by definition, when the
offense is penalized with less than one minute to go in the half, the
clock automatically runs off ten seconds. In this case, the time
run-off ended the half.

Here's another one I don't understand. How do Tom Brady and Kurt
Warner always look like they've got a three day beard growing?

Cleveland kicker Phil Dawson entered Sunday's game with the longest
consecutive field goal streak in the league. And then missed twice. I
guess when you're due, you're due.

Falcon nose tackle Edward Jasper is a mean looking guy at 6' 2" / 295.
He looked even more mean Sunday as he played with a row of staples in
his forehead closing a cut he received earlier. His teammates were
reportedly calling him "Leatherface".

The Giants' Jeremy Shockey had fun with Eli Manning after he caught
the rookie QBs first TD pass. Manning obviously wanted to save the
football and right before Shockey handed it to Manning, he faked
throwing it up into the crowd. The trainer took the ball and placed it
into an equipment locker where it would be secure. Right next to Kurt
Warner's helmet.

Atlanta's Mike Vick had nice words to say about the younger Manning.
"He's going to get better, He's going to be just like his brother."

Pittsburgh's Ben Roethlisberger seems funnier every week. Asked Sunday
what it was like to have veteran players around him so he didn't have
to the be "savior", Roethlisberger replied, "It's nice. It's lovely."

Hard Luck Awards. This week they ought to be called the "Touchdown
Nullified Due To Penalty Awards".

CLE RB Green 7 yard rush to the 3 (Garcia to Shea TD)
DET RB Schlesinger 1 yard rush to the 1 (Harrington to Alexander TD)
MIN QB Culpepper 14 yard pass to the 1 to RB Williams (Williams TD)
PIT QB Roethlisberger 20 yard TD pass to WR Randle El nullified by penalty
TEN QB McNair 21 yard pass to the 4 to TE Kinney (Smith TD)
CHI QB Krenzel 7 yard TD pass to WR Terrell nullified by penalty
CHI QB Krenzel 30 yard pass to the 5 to RB Peterson (Krenzel to Lyman TD)
SEA QB Dilfer 29 yard pass to the 4 to WR Engram (Alexander TD)
MIA QB Feeley 5 yard TD pass to WR Chambers nullified by penalty
CAR QB Delhomme 39 yard pass to the 2 to WR Muhammad (Goings TD)
CAR DEF / FS Branch 76 yard interception return to the 1 (Goings TD)
ARZ QB King 44 yard TD pass to WR Boldin nullified by penalty
OAK QB Collins 15 yard TD pass to WR Gabriel nullified by penalty
(Janikowski FG)
BUF DEF / ST 53 yard punt return to the 5 (Bledsoe to Campbell TD)
BUF RB 49 yard TD nullified by penalty (Lindell FG)
PHI RB Levens 5 yard rush to the 2 (McNabb to Lewis TD)
PHI RB Westbrook 4 yard rush to the 1
PHI RB Levens rush for no gain from the 1 (McNabb to Westbrook TD)
BAL DET / LB Suggs 13 yard fumble return to the 1 (Taylor TD)
DAL QB Henson 7 yard rush to the 3
DAL RB Jones 2 yard rush to the 1 (Henson to Robinson TD)
ATL RB Duckett 3 yard rush to the 5
ATL QB 8 yard rush to the 2 (Vick to Crumpler TD)
NYG RB Barber 5 yard rush to the 3
NYG RB Barber -3 yard rush to the 6 (Manning to Shockey TD)
TB RB Alstott 2 yard TD nullified by penalty
NE QB Brady 17 yard pass to the 5 to WR Branch (Dillon TD)

Sometimes it's better to just not know.

Thanks for playing along. I hope you have an outstanding Thanksgiving
and a great weekend.

Here's to Football,

Joe

*******************
Joe Bryant
Owner  www.footballguys.com

Thanks to apalmer, and Bob Harris for the help on this one. If you've
got a Random Shot of your own, shoot it to me at
[email protected]