Hi Folks,

Here's what happens when you sit an NFL Junkie down in front of
multiple big screens with Sunday Ticket and fresh batteries in the
remote…

Random Shots

A Twisted Look at The NFL Every Week And All That Goes With It

By Joe Bryant

Would the Samuel Adams guy on the commercials be a better spokesman if
he wasn't sporting the Opera Man hair?
http://www.tflreport.com/jbpic/AdamSandlerOperaMan.jpg

Glitch in the Matrix. In the Jacksonville – Minnesota game, both
quarterbacks Byron Leftwich and Daunte Culpepper threw 19 passes for
235 yards and 1 TD

Is Willis McGahee important to the Bills? Check this series:

1-10-SEA15 (9:20) McGahee left end pushed ob at SEA 7 for 8 yards
2-2-SEA7 (9:06) PENALTY on BUF-Losman, Delay of Game, 5 yards
2-7-SEA12 (8:33) McGahee right tackle to SEA 5 for 7 yards
1-5-SEA5 (7:46) McGahee right end pushed ob at SEA 1 for 4 yards
2-1-SEA1 (7:18) McGahee left tackle for 1 yard, TOUCHDOWN.

Nothing seems to be going right for Washington. Running back Ladell
Betts replaced Clinton Portis as the Redskins wanted a more powerful
back on the poor field conditions. Late in the game, Betts rushed two
consecutive times from the 1 yard line and wound up back at the 2.

Interesting note about Oakland's Rich Gannon. He could have gone home
after his season (and maybe career) ending neck injury. But he's
elected to stay in Oakland and help Collins and the Raiders. That's
cool.

Nike's Phil Knight is stepping down as CEO. Rumors that he'll be
replaced in a cost cutting measure by a twelve year old girl from
Thailand are apparently false.

There's a very interesting low profile story brewing in Cincinnati.
Chad Johnson suffered a head injury that caused him to lose short term
memory. He said after the game that he didn't remember hardly
anything. An interesting video is here
http://www.fox19.com/Global/category.asp?C=56684&nav=0zHHPkQ5

Head coach Marvin Lewis has essentially said Johnson is lying about
the injury and that Johnson was fine. I wouldn't put exaggerating
reality past Chad Johnson but this seems to me a case of the Bengals
covering their butt. If Johnson is lying on this video, he's a better
actor than I've been giving him credit for.

Will the Giants' Amani Toomer and Ike Hilliard score a touchdown this year?

Speaking of Hilliard, have you ever seen Ike and Stuart Scott in the
same room? http://www.nfl.com/players/playerpage/1785  Just asking…

Corey Dillon summed up his move to New England: "I don't care about
stats. I had stats. I came here to win games."

Dillon's been all the Patriots have hoped for. And watching
Cincinnati's Rudi Johnson run Sunday, this looks like one of those
rare trades that worked out great for both sides.

Paul Daugherty of the Cincinnati Enquirer had this on Johnson: "Rudi
is such a throwback, the throwbacks would call him a throwback." When
asked what he was proudest of after his 202 yard rushing day, Johnson
said "The fact we won and everybody played well." You gotta like that.

SI's Peter King had an interesting observation: In fewer than seven
seasons, Peyton Manning has thrown 55 more touchdown passes than Roger
Staubach did in his Hall-of-Fame 11-year career. The total: 208-153.
Wow.

No telling how many TDs Manning might throw if he got to play four
quarters in a game. He's missed almost an entire half game over the
last two weeks.

You gotta love Ricky Williams: "At least I quit before all the fantasy
drafts. Let's face it: If I'd quit after the drafts, the fans would
all hate me." He's got a pretty good point.

Guess which QB tied the NFL record this week for throwing TD passes to
the most different receivers? Vinny Testaverde. He tied Steve DeBerg
when he connected with Cowboy wide receiver Darian Barnes, the 62nd
player to catch a touchdown from Testaverde.

With apologies to Chris Myers, I think Suzy Kolber is the best
sideline reporter in the game. From the "impress your NFL geek
friends" column, Kolber was one of the few girls in the country to
play organized football with the boys as a ten year old. She looks
like a grown up and slimmed down Mary Lou Retton.

Hindsight is 20-20 but I wonder if Eli and Archie Manning would have
played draft day differently?

It was sort of cool to see Brett Favre start his 200th straight game
Monday. This naturally draws comparisons to baseball's Cal Ripken.

What do you think is the more impressive streak? Brett Favre starts
200 straight NFL Games (12.5 years) or Cal Ripken plays in 2600+
straight MLB Games (16+ years)? Personally, I agree with ESPN's Tom
Jackson and go with Favre. Even aside from the physical demand
differences, the big thing for me is that in every one of Favre's 200
starts, he had 11 guys on the other side of the ball attempting to end
his streak. That's a big difference.

Favre took over the starting job in Green Bay back in 1992. Since
then, eleven of his backups have gone on to starting jobs in the NFL.

Lions coach Steve Mariucci was telling the story about how Favre had
never seen snow when he first came to Green Bay. Mariucci was a Packer
assistant coach and had Favre over for dinner. During the meal, four
inches of snow fell. Mariucci said Favre was dressed in his normal
attire: shorts, t-shirt and flip flops. He said as Favre went to his
car after dinner, he didn't even think about scraping the snow off.
"We've got to watch this," Mariucci said to his wife. "You think he
scrapes his car off? No. He rolls down his window and drives home with
his head out the window. I yelled at him down the street, but he
didn't care."

Some things haven't changed in twelve years. Game time temperature
Monday night was 28 degrees. And Favre walked from the parking lot to
the stadium wearing shorts…

New Orleans' Donte' Stallworth continued the rollercoaster ride
following a monster game with a dud. He pretty much mirrors the Saints
there.

New Orleans vs. Atlanta Note:

Saints owner Tom Benson has eliminated lunches in the team's cafeteria
for non-football employees of the organization. Falcons owner, Arthur
Blank gave his team a steak and lobster dinner recently to celebrate
coach Jim Mora's birthday.  And Blank served the dinner himself.
Amazing what winning will do. You also might say the Home Depot
business has been better than the car business of late…

New Orleans said they felt it was a waste of time to put a designated
"spy" on Mike Vick. "Who's going to catch him?" coach Jim Haslett
said. "It's like putting a rabbit in a room and trying to catch it." I
won't argue with that.

I love Ray Lewis but Corey Dillon got the best of him on several plays
Sunday. Dillon ran over Lewis on the goal line for his 1 yard
touchdown run, and then powered over Lewis and two other defenders for
a two point conversion. It was pretty indicative of the entire game
where Baltimore never really seemed to have a chance.

Everyone knows I like Mike Tice. He just seems like a fun coach to
play for. After Randy Moss' touchdown catch, Tice showed his
enthusiasm by chest bumping Moss on the sidelines. Could you see Tom
Landry doing that?

Have any of you golfers out there noticed Miami's Olindo Mare is one
of the few kickers in the league to play the "fade". Most other
kickers "draw" the ball. Speaking of Mare, he missed one of the
shortest field goal attempts you'll ever see (22 yards) and then came
back later in the game to nail a 50 yarder. Go figure.

The next time you hear Jeff George speak, shut your eyes and tell me
he doesn't sound exactly like Jon Gruden.

Speaking of George, I love this guy. I know there are only like eight
other fans in the world with me on this one but I think he still has
something to offer. Five minutes after picking up the Bears' playbook,
he's better than Jonathon Quinn. I wonder if he'll still unbuckle and
buckle his chin strap after every single play. Sorry, I notice stuff
like that…

Carolina punter Todd Sauerbrun has publicly feuded with both the
Gramatica brothers over the years. Asked about Martin Gramatica
missing three field goals Sunday, he said, "I don't feel bad for him
... I'm glad he missed as many as he did."

You gotta like them blasting "Hell's Bells" on the PA system before
kickoff in Green Bay. Between Guns and Roses, Ozzy Osbourne and AC/DC,
you could pretty cover the music requirements of every NFL stadium…

Think you've had a tough year? How'd you like to be 49er coach Dennis
Erickson? "We feel helpless," Erickson said. "We're not functioning
the way I envisioned us functioning on offense. We haven't been all
year. There've been spurts, but we've had no rhythm. First and second
downs haven't been good to us, then we have third-and-long. "It's been
a mess. I don't know any other way to put it." And the tough part for
him is that it won't get any easier for the next five weeks.

Arizona's Denny Green has named rookie John Navarre the starting QB
for this week benching both Josh McCown and Shaun King. I bet that'll
solve all their problems…

Bill Walsh was funny on the radio recently. He was asked if he knew
that with the West Coast Offense they were creating a system that
would revolutionize the game. He answered, "No, we were just trying to
survive. We were just trying to make a first down."

Random observation while driving from Knoxville to Lexington over the
Thanksgiving weekend: Is it a requirement that you be 85 years old and
drive 50 in the fast lane in order to own a Buick?

I can make those cracks because at 40, I'm now officially old. I know
this because even though I'm in pretty good shape, I pulled my calf
muscle Monday. While I was sleeping. Sheesh. That's what I get for
making fun of Brian Griese's dog I guess.

San Francisco 49ers: You are now officially on the clock.

I asked last week about which club did not feature a mid field logo
that matched their team. Many of you knew that the Jets and Giants
feature the NFL shield at midfield. That makes sense I guess since
they share the stadium. But why in the world does Carolina use the NFL
shield instead of a Panther logo?

Speaking of logos, the Bengals have hands down the best mid field logo
with the tiger stretching from 40 to 40.

I love the throwback uniforms on Thanksgiving. I don't think I'd ever
seen the Orange Bears jerseys nor the Colts helmets with the two horse
shoes on the back. Very cool. The Dallas game where the Cowboys wore
their blue jerseys with white shoulders facing the Bears in orange was
what I was talking about several weeks ago. For teams like the Chiefs
with a bright red jersey, could the other team have their choice of
their white or colored jersey?

On that note, I'm not a fan of the Giants red jerseys though.

Did you notice in the Lions game that when Joey Harrington was pulled
in favor of Mike McMahon, Harrington stayed totally into the game and
was animatedly helping McMahon with the plays while on the sideline?
Good work.

Pay attention to Peyton Manning. You're seeing a stretch here that you
may never see again from a QB. Manning included. He is playing
absolutely out of his mind. During one section, he completed 12
consecutive passes including 4 for touchdowns. While everyone wants to
talk to him about Marino's record, he's staying focused on the team.
"I feel uncomfortable talking about anything individual," said
Manning, almost pleading to change the subject. "I just want to keep
winning."

Here's my last thing on Manning. In Thursday's game, he had more TDs
than incompletions. That's sick.

Great line from Rams coach Mike Martz: "It's a privilege to play in
the National Football League. We've got some guys who think they're on
scholarship."

I love the NFL Network's "Playbook" show. Solomon Wilcotts is
excellent. I love the title of his feature, "Playbook of Solomon".
That kills me.

Every guy likes the Coors Light "I Love…" commercials. My favorite
part of the current one is how they feature two guys at the absolute
end of the spectrum for front teeth: John Elway with the Mr. Eds and
William "Refrigerator" Perry with the Leon Spinks look.

The ESPN crew was discussing New England WR Troy Brown helping out by
playing cornerback. Mike Irvin in particular seemed impressed. He was
asked what he would have said had Jimmy Johnson asked him to play
defensive back. Irvin didn't hesitate and said, "Can't help you,
Holmes." That was pretty funny.

Irvin also said the Miami Hurricanes could beat the Chicago Bears. I
hope he wasn't even 5% serious there but I bet he was.

Speaking of New England, I'd give Bill Belichick coach of the year
based on nothing more than what he's been able to do in patching
together a defensive secondary. Absolutely incredible.

Everyone knows Atlanta QB Mike Vick throws the ball left handed. But
he writes with his right hand and kicks with his right foot. I
actually know a few "left handed" people that do this.

Note to Minnesota kicker Jose Cortez: When your only job is to kick
off, do not push the ball out of bounds like you did Sunday.

After watching eleven games of a Joe Gibbs Redskins team, I think we
owe Steve Spurrier an apology.

New York's Norman Hand suffered a groin injury Sunday. Maybe it's
because I'm still mentally stuck in the fifth grade, but he had the
best actual headline of the year: "Giant Hand Pulls Groin."

Cleveland TE Eric Heiden. You can only hope to contain him. He's this
week's version of last week's Mark Campbell. Pay attention.

Carolina DE Julius Pepper is one of the best athletes in the game. At
6' 6" / 283 he had the speed to run down Tampa Bay running back
Michael Pittman Sunday.

Cincinnati's Carson Palmer and Cleveland's Kelly Holcomb combined for
664 yards and 9 TD passes Sunday. Yeah, we saw that coming.

Everyone knows the huge bearded motorcycle riding, trumpet blowing,
Vikings mascot, Ragnar. Here are a couple of things you might not know
about him. He's the Assistant Dean of Students for the Hopkins School
District in Minnesota. And in 1982, he set the world record for
shaving a beard with an ax (8 minutes and 43 seconds) and it still
stands today. Where else are you going to get this kind of quality
information?

How tough has it been for Kansas City this year? Their kicker,
Lawrence Tynes has missed two extra points already.

San Diego kicker Nate Kaeding nearly did the Charlie Brown thing as
the wind blew the ball off the tee right before he kicked off.

Shaun King vs. Brooks Bollinger. Welcome to week 12.

Before Sunday's game, Baltimore's Kyle Boller had played just one game
in the rain during his entire pro and collegiate career. Now he's got
two under his belt.

Titans wide receiver Derrick Mason is no fan of the natural grass turf
at Reliant Stadium. "That's probably the worst surface I've played on
in the NFL," Mason said. "That was like playing on dirt."

For a guy as animated on the field as Randy Moss, it's sort of
interesting that he declined to speak to the media after the game. He
was cool about it and just politely shook his head "no".

Sunday's game between the Jets and Arizona Cardinals was the first in
NFL history featuring two players -- Emmitt Smith and Curtis Martin --
who have a combined 30,000-plus rushing yards.

Words mean things. Daunte Culpepper subtly drew the line between Randy
Moss and the other Viking WRs with "tremendous" and "total" Sunday. "I
always feel like if he can get a hand on it, he's going to catch it,"
Culpepper said. "I have tremendous confidence in our receivers and
total confidence in 84."

As usual, Dallas coach Bill Parcells was good for a sound bite
following Thursday's win. "I'm going to relax and enjoy this,"
Parcells said. "I didn't know whether we were going to get another one
or not for a while."

Another first Sunday. Even after a twelve year pro career, Sunday was
the first time Drew Bledsoe had been back to the state of Washington
to play a football game. "Thousands of people have touched my life and
helped me get here," Bledsoe said. "A bunch of those people were here
at the game. To play well in front of them obviously means a lot."

Are the Seahawks the Saints with a better coach?

Oakland's Jerry Porter seemed to have a hard time describing the snowy
field conditions in Denver. "It was hell out there," Porter said. "But
it was cold, too."

New England punter Josh Miller wears a glove on just his right hand. I
wonder why?

Congrats to the Eagles. That's a pretty strong statement to clinch a
playoff spot on Thanksgiving weekend.

You have to like the overachieving Jake Plummer. He couldn't be
content a few weeks ago to merely have the worst mustache in the
league. Now he's taken his game to the proverbial next level as he's
sporting the worst beard in the league.

Hard Luck Awards

IND RB James 6 yard rush to the 4 (Manning to Stokley TD)
IND RB James 6 yard rush to the 5 (Manning to Harrison TD)
MIN QB Culpepper 10 yard pass to the 5 to RB Smith
MIN RB Smith 4 yard rush to the 1 (Culpepper TD)
MIN RB Smith 2 yard rush to the 2 (Culpepper to Moss TD)
ATL QB Vick 55 yard TD pass to RB Pritchett nullified by penalty
ATL QB Vick 25 yard pass to the 1 to WR Price (Vick to Pritchett TD)
NO RB McAllister 5 yard rush to the 2
NO RB McAllister 1 yard rush to the 1 (Brooks TD)
SD QB Brees 55 yard pass to the 2 to WR Parker (Tomlinson TD)
SD QB Brees 17 yard pass to the 3 to WR Parker (Tomlinson TD)
KC QB Green 27 yard pass to the 5 to TE Gonzalez (Blaylock TD)
BUF QB Bledsoe 5 yard pass to the 3 to TE Euhus (Bledsoe to Evans TD)
BUF QB Bledsoe 18 yard pass to the 2 to TE Campbell (McGahee TD)
CIN QB Palmer 4 yard pass to the 3 to Johnson (Palmer to Houshmandzadeh TD)
CLE DEF / LB Gardner 30 yard interception return to the 1 (Holcomb to Heiden TD)
SF QB Rattay 14 yard pass to RB Hicks to the 1 (Hicks TD)
NE QB Brady 23 yard TD pass to WR Patten nullified by penalty (Vinatieri FG)
NE QB Brady 15 yard pass to the 5 to WR Branch (Dillon TD)
PIT QB Roethlisberger 20 yard pass to the 4 to RB Bettis (Bettis TD)
WAS RB Betts rush for no gain from the 1
WAS RB rush for -1 yards to the 2 (Ramsey to Cooley TD)
DEN QB Plummer 57 yard pass to the 3 to WR Lelie (Droughns TD)
OAK QB Collins 5 yard pass to the 5 to RB Zereoue (Collins to Porter TD)
PHI QB McNabb 7 yard pass to the 5 to WR Owens
PHI RB Levens 7 yard rush to the 5
PHI RB Levens 1 yard rush to the 4 (McNabb TD)
PHI RB Levens 4 yard rush to the 1 (Westbrook TD)
STL RB Faulk 1 yard rush to the 4 (Bulger to Bruce TD)

And here's an addendum for you guys who were going against Willis
McGahee Sunday. Buffalo's Rian Lindell missed a 52 yard FG attempt but
the Bills had called timeout just before the snap. After the timeout,
Buffalo changed their mind and opted to go for it on 4th down and
McGahee scored on a 30 yard run.

Thanks for playing along. I hope you have fun with whatever you're
doing with your life.

Oh yeah - Here's to Football,

Joe