Hi Folks,

Here's what happens when you sit an NFL Junkie down in front of multiple
big screens with Sunday Ticket and fresh batteries in the remote.

Tennessee kicker Gary Anderson played his first NFL game before teammate
Randy Stark was born.

I suppose congratulations are in order to Footballguy Subscriber Rob
Flanagan who had a short lived appearance on NBC's "The Apprentice" with
Donald Trump. Rob was fired pretty early in the game. From the 30 seconds
I've seen of the show, that looks like a good thing to me.

Denver's John Lynch was fined for the shot he gave Dante Hall in week 1.
Lynch said it's never a good sign when you see the Next Day Air envelope
from the league in your mailbox on Tuesday morning.

New York's Curtis Martin became the Jets all time leading rusher passing
Freeman McNeil who had 8,074 yards. No disrespect to McNeil, but I bet a
lot of people assumed Martin already held that record. He's been that good
for that long.

With 10:30 remaining in the 3rd quarter, San Diego had accumulated a grand
total of ONE yard passing.

It's still early but the J-E-T-S are looking for R-E-A-L.

Coach Herm Edwards spoke about them finally getting off to a good start:
"The 'ghosts of September' have left us. Now we can deal with October. Now
there might be a vampire waiting in October so we'll see."

The leading receiver for Atlanta Sunday? Full back Justin Griffith with 78
yards and 1 touchdown.

Here's a line you don't see all that often: ATL PK Jay Feely kicks onside.
RECOVERED by ATL-PK Jay Feely.

Miami's Lamar Gordon rushed the ball 19 times Sunday. He gained 22 yards.
In two games, the Dolphins have a total of 90 yards rushing. Maybe Ricky
Williams knew something.

I'm with coach Mike Ditka on the Dolphin's problems: "Lamar Gordon? Flash
Gordon couldn't run behind that line."

Speaking of the Miami running game, Sunday was the first time the Dolphins
failed to gain a rushing first down in THIRTY SEVEN years.

I asked last week what segment of the audience the NFL felt Elton John was
connecting with on the Kickoff Weekend festivities. Several Random Shots
readers took exception to the question.

My favorite email:  "You are certainly way off base here. I saw many fans
jumping up and down and singing along to Saturday Nights All right for
Fighting. Kudos to the NFL for doing their homework. An apology in your
next column would be just. Perhaps you should stick to football."

My response: Hold on there a second, Rocketman. No argument here that I
probably SHOULD stick to football. Small chance that I actually WILL
though.

Ron Dayne? That's pretty much what we thought. The 2003 Dayne was slow and
fat. 2004 Dayne is slow and not as fat.

My buddy and Footballguys consiglieri, Tyler Chastain, had this one: The
NFL Today on CBS hit an all time low Sunday with guest, Dr. Phil. What's
next, Oprah asking Tom Coughlin to share his inner feelings?

I guarantee you the guys that created the All World Coors Light Twins ads
are not the same geniuses that are pushing this "frost brewed" angle.
Apparently, it's quite a feat keeping the beer "frosty" cold from brewery
to the store. According to the ads, they preserve that all important "cold
taste" in refrigerated rail cars (as if cold had a taste). I hate to break
it to them, but when Melvin at the local package store stacks the cases in
the floor at room temperature, doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose?

Ronald Reagan was President when Jerry Rice started his streak of 274
consecutive games with a reception. As you know, the streak ended Sunday.
Rice said all the right things to the media but he was clearly frustrated,
kicking a pylon. He composed himself and later joked about it: "Oh yeah, I
was working on my kicking, just in case (Sebastian Janikowski) had a
little trouble," Rice said of booting the 30-yard marker. "I'm a
competitor. You get a little frustrated at times and I apologize for that.
Otherwise, I just enjoy the game and I love being a part of it, and I want
to contribute to the team. It didn't happen today."

Rice caught passes from 17 different quarterbacks during this streak on 44
different fields. 5 current NFL head coaches were still playing and Randy
Moss was eight years old when Rice started his streak.

Broken fibulas have always been a part of the game, but I don't recall a
season with this many cases so early in the year: Kansas City TE Kris
Wilson, Carolina WR Steve Smith, Arizona RB Marcel Shipp, Buffalo QB J.P.
Losman, Seattle LB Chad Brown and Philadelphia OL Shawn Andrews have all
been hit already.

When New England's Adam Vinatieri is lining up for a field goal, I go
ahead and change the channel. He's that automatic.

For the second week in a row, Jaguar wide receiver Ernest Wilford caught
one pass for a touchdown. If Marvin Harrison could match that ratio, he'd
have 17 touchdowns already.

I just can't get enough of ESPN's Stuart Scott in Philadelphia talking
about the "illadelph". Yeah. And Pam Anderson won't stop calling me.

Seattle coach Mike Holmgren had this to say about the Buccaneer's
quarterback shuffling, "Chris Simms came in and scared me to death".

Randy Cross described Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger's style as
that of a "scoocher". Cross said, "Sometimes it's better to be a scoocher
than a scrambler". I've always said that.

New Orleans running back Deuce McAllister didn't have his ankles taped
Sunday. I bet that changes when he returns from his high ankle sprain.

Speaking of Tampa quarterbacks, did it seem to anyone else that Brad
Johnson was on an awfully short leash there?

Visa's commercials claim they're the proud sponsor of the NFL. But the
commercials feature disturbing flakes like the Cleveland pickle shakers
and the Patriot guy that chases trees. Maybe these people carry big credit
balances.

San Diego coach Marty Schottenheimer cuts right to the chase: "It's no
more complicated than turning it over four times and not taking it away.
End of story."

I'm willing to bet Joe Gibbs is saying the same thing. You will not win in
this league turning the ball over 7 times as the Redskins did.

Brett Favre is a 14 year veteran yet he was hustling downfield trying to
block for Ahman Green Sunday.

I don't know how much Jaguar had to pay to use the Kill Bill music in
their commercials but it was worth every penny.

After a great week 1, Cleveland quarterback Jeff Garcia came crashing back
to Earth in Dallas. He pulled a "Blutarsky" QB rating: 0.0. If you don't
get "Blutarsky", stop reading. Run, do not walk, to the video store and
check out Animal House. Seriously. We'll wait.

Anyone else think Coughlin looked surreal in that Parcells Giants
sweater?

Michael Strahan is a great player because of what he does on the field.
Michael Strahan is a great leader because of what he does off the field.
Strahan and coach Tom Coughlin endured a tense week with the media circus
over the fines doled out for being late / not early enough to meetings.
But after a big win against the favored Redskins, Strahan buried the
hatchet as he presented Coughlin with a game ball.

I bet Coughlin made the Sergeant Hulka face as Strahan played the Bill
Murray role delivering the "big toe" speech. If you don't get Sergeant
Hulka, stop reading. You probably didn't get Blutarsky either so go back
to the video store where you rented Animal House and pick up Stripes.

Seattle punter Tom Rouen was deadly with four punts inside the 20. That's
a weapon.

I want to know who made the decision to send ESPN's Hank Goldberg out into
the Philadelphia crowd Monday night. He looked genuinely fearful for his
life broadcasting on the Prime Monday show. Goldberg was in a sea of
Eagles fans. He started to talk to a girl wearing a Vikings jersey who was
immediately showered with beer. Goldberg was clearly rattled and cut the
interview short saying "I don't know that this is the best use of my
talents, I'm going to send it back to you Stuart". He's not been heard
from since.

Although let's be honest, Goldberg went 1-5-1 with his picks in week 1.
I'm not sure what his talents are. Goldberg made light of it though (as
you can do when it's not really your money that you lost) and said he was
so bad, he took it on the "chins".

My friend Bill Davies wrote me yesterday and said, "If you are reading
this, there is a good chance that Daunte Culpepper is chasing a rolling
football somewhere."

Note to Terrell Owens: You think McNabb is great and Garcia sucks. We got
it. Really. Actually we got it the first 2,000 times you said it.

Everyone knows Jacksonville's Byron Leftwich looks like Gary Coleman from
the old "What's Happening?" show. Now I'm throwing in a third picture of
their dad

The guy who wears the barrel at the Broncos game was asked what he wears
under the barrel. He said, "Boots". You gotta like that.

When Lovie Smith was hired as Bears coach, he declared his top priority
was knocking off the Packers, the two-time defending division champs.
"I've never been in a fight where some guy told me he was going to beat me
up and he beat me up," Packers linebacker Nick Barnett said. I guess he
has now.

Lambeau Field looks weird to me when it's bright and sunny like San Diego.

Some of these new player names are tough.  It was easier when Jerry Rice
and Mack Strong were the norm. With Adewale Ogunleye and Ben
Roethlisberger, it's tough to keep up. I'm hoping Minnesota running back
Larry Ned becomes a star.

Ok, I'll say it. Is Jacksonville this year's Carolina?

The Lions have twice as many wins as Kansas City.

Most folks knew the Patriots would beat Arizona. Here's a note I bet you
didn't know from my friend Jim Skane at www.arizonasportsfans.com :
Belichick's win Sunday was the first in four tries against Denny Green.

According to Arizona Republic staffer Kent Somers, Green was especially
frustrated with his offense because he sensed that running back Emmitt
Smith was ready for a big game. The Cardinals thought they could run on
the Patriots, but finished with just 50 yards on 16 carries. "Emmitt was
ready to roll today," Green said. "I think he had a buck and a quarter
(125 yards) in him today. But I think the other guys didn't have a buck
and a quarter in them today. ..."

If I'm Paul Tagliabue, I make Jake Plummer do something about the mustache
just for the good of the game. He looked like Ron Howard.

Rams defensive end Leonard Little said the team wanted to contain
quarterback Mike Vick and make him throw. "Real clear we weren't able to
do that," Little said.

Sports Illustrated's Peter King on how bad KC's Defense is: "Here were the
Carolina touchdown-scorers: running back DeShaun Foster, a good player
making his third NFL start; tight end Mike Seidman, a second-year kid from
UCLA who caught all of five balls last season; Kris Mangum, another tight
end and former seventh-round draft pick and professional journeyman; and
rookie wideout Keary Colbert, making his NFL starting debut."

Think I'll be skipping ESPN's Hu$tle movie on Pete Rose. Partly because
they run the preview every 10 minutes. But mostly because it just looks
like a joke. I can't tell if it's a comedy or a drama.

Along those lines, remember when ESPN showed mostly sports?

With :37 on the clock and trialing 6-7, Denver running back Quentin
Griffin fumbled on the Jaguars 21 yard line trying to set up a game
winning field goal. Griffin said later, "I'm not worried about fumbling or
nothing like that.". Note to Griffin, if you're not worried, I have one
word for you: "start".

Speaking of the Denver loss, I hear some Shanahan haters say Griffin never
should've had the opportunity to fumble and that the Broncos should have
kicked the 38 yard FG on third down. No way. You run the ball there 100
times out of 100 and get a little closer.

NFL.com's Adam Schefter noted that the Tampa Bay Devil Rays outscored the
Buccaneers Sunday. Ouch.

Buffalo coach Mike Mularkey said, "Our best chance to win right now is
Drew Bledsoe". Is that supposed to be comforting to Bills fans?

Advantages of signing an experienced player: 16 year veteran center Jerry
Fontenot joined the Bengals on Thursday. When starting center Rich Braham
wasn't able to make it through pre game warm-ups, Fontenot moved into the
starting lineup and played the entire game.

The Bengals won without scoring an offensive TD. That doesn't happen every
week. For the Bengals, it hasn't happened in ten years.

Philadelphia safety Brian Dawkins set the tone for Monday night's game
against the Vikings. In the 2nd quarter, 260 pound quarterback Daunte
Culpepper was heading to the end zone for a sure touchdown. The 210 pound
Dawkins met Culpepper at the one yard line and stopped him cold.

Vikings coach Mike Tice sounds just like Rocky Balboa. I love that guy.

St. Louis rushed the ball 15 times Sunday? Can that be right?

I joked last week that Houston coach Dom Capers looked out for the other
"Doms" in the league. But if running back Domanick Davis continues to
fumble twice a game, Coach Capers will be looking out for him on the
bench.

The Giants Norman Hand was fined $1,000 for not having tie on team bus. I
wonder if he saw Washington Joe Gibbs got off the Redskin bus wearing an
open collard shirt.

Dallas safety Roy Williams said he played so poorly in week 1 that coach
Bill Parcells didn't say a word to him until Friday.

State of the Cowboy rushing game? With 4:30 left in the first half, Dexter
Coakley was their leading rusher.

I hope you listened to me last week - Detroit's Roy Williams is all that.

I think Michael Irvin picked out Tom Jackson's suit for Sunday's ESPN
broadcast. Jackson looked like Kingpin from Daredevil

Kansas City wide receiver Eddie Kennison pulled a hamstring and wasn't
able to complete the fame Sunday. Never saw that coming.

I dogged Eddie George last week but I'll give credit where it's due.
George accomplished on his second carry of the game what Jamal Lewis
failed to do in an entire game against the Browns last week--break a run
for more than 9 yards.

Arizona's Emmitt Smith didn't share the workload Sunday. He was the only
Cardinal running back to have a carry.

Note to Carolina WR Keary Colbert - if you're going to do the bicep flex
pose like Terrell Owens, you need to have biceps.

Shannon Sharpe on Tom Coughlin, "I would rather die in an abandoned
building alone with my family not knowing what happened than play for this
guy"

Trent Green owners - step away from the ledge.

Kansas City cornerback Eric Warfield caught two passes for 43 yards and a
touchdown Sunday from Carolina QB Jake Delhomme. Warfield was more
productive than starting WR Muhsin Muhammad who caught 2 for 26 yards.

Some players seem to need a breather after every play. So it was cool to
see guys like DeShaun Foster, Thomas Jones, and Kevan Barlow stay in the
game after breaking long runs. Jones in particular was strong as he ran 71
yards right up the middle. Then scored with a 3 yard run on the next
play.

Jacksonville won in week 1 with a last second touchdown as time expired.
They won last week 7-6 when Quentin Griffin fumbled. Said coach Jack Del
Rio "We're keeping the cardiologists busy in town".

The 2-0 Atlanta Falcons and the 2-0 Jacksonville Jaguars have converted
only 7 third downs combined.

No offense, but I'm pulling for whoever plays the Florida Marlins,
Minnesota Twins and Oakland A's. They tell me all three of those teams are
in contention for post season baseball play and as fate would have it,
those are the three teams where the NFL team in the city has to put up
with sharing the stadium with the baseball team. Nothing like kicking an
important field goal off the bare dirt of 2nd base where we all know God
intended the 45 yard line to be.

The Colts Tony Dungy talked about his team not panicking and said, "You
can't go haywire and try to hit a 5 run homer the first time we have the
ball."

Thumbs up to the league and all the players wearing the "40" decals on
their helmet honoring Pat Tillman.

Overheard on our Footballguys message board:

"Can someone please explain to me how the heck a catch phrase like "Who
Dey?" ever took off in Cincinatti? I mean seriously, the crowd sounds like
a stadium full of idiots...

Of course, the next reply was: "They're not the ones who can't spell
'Cincinnati'."

Hard Luck Awards

DEN RB Griffin rush for no gain from the 4 (Elam FG)
KC QB Green incomplete pass to TE Gonzalez from the 1 (Holmes TD)
CAR QB Delhomme 9 yard TD pass to FB Hoover reversed (Delhomme to Seidman
TD)
GB RB Green fumbles at 5 yard line (CHI FS Brown TD)
GB QB Favre 16 yard TD pass to TE Franks nullified by penalty (Favre to
Ferguson TD)
DAL QB Testaverde 36 yard pass to WR Johnson to the 1 (Testaverde to
Robinson TD)
BAL QB Boller 11 yard pass to TE Heap to the 3 (Lewis TD)
BAL QB Boller 39 yard TD to Hymes nullified by penalty (Stover FG)
PIT RB Staley rush for no gain from the 3 (Roethlisberger to Randle El
TD)
NYJ QB Pennington 8 yard pass to FB Sowell to the 2 (Martin TD)
NYJ RB Martin 2 yard rush to the 1 (Pennington to Baker TD)
ATL RB Dunn 1 yard rush to the 3 (Vick to Griffith TD)
ATL QB Vick 14 yard rush to the 2 (Dunn TD)
ATL LB Stewart 45 yard interception TD nullified by penalty (Faulk TD)
ATL QB Vick 7 yard rush to the 2 (Dunn TD)
IND QB Manning 6 yard pass to RB James to the 5 (Manning to Wayne TD)
IND RB James 1 yard rush to the 1 (Manning to Pollard TD)
TEN RB Brown 17 yard rush to the 1 (McNair TD)
NE RB Dillon 3 yard rush to the 5 (Brady to Graham TD)
NE RB Dillon 2 yard rush TD nullified by penalty (Vinatieri FG)
ARZ QB McCown 42 yard pass to RB Scobey to the 5 (Smith TD)
WAS RB Portis rush for no gain from the 1 WAS RB Portis rush for -1 to the
2 (Brunell to Cooley TD)
MIA QB Feeley 29 yard pass to TE McMichael to the 4 (Feeley to Chambers
TD)
SF RB Jackson 13 yard rush to the 1 (Barlow TD)
SF QB Dorsey 8 yard pass to TE Johnson to the 1 (Robertson TD)
QB Culpepper 7 yard rush to the 4 (Culpepper to Moss TD)

Sometimes it's better to just not know.

Here's hoping all the bounces go your way.

Joe

**************
Joe Bryant
Owner - www.Footballguys.com

Thanks to Footballguys Bob Harris, Jeff "Wheelhouse" Haseley, jchap31,
Fullback Fro, and Domer. If you've got a Random Shot observation of your
own, shoot it to me at [email protected]