Hi Folks,

Here's what happens when you sit an NFL Junkie down in front of multiple
big screens with Sunday Ticket and fresh batteries in the remote.

Note to ESPN for their Sunday morning Countdown. Can I please trade four
minutes of Kenny Mayne for four minutes of Chris Mortensen? How about John
Clayton? Truth be told, I'd take four minutes of Stuart Scott if I didn't
have to listen to Mayne and that's saying something.

San Diego's LaDainian Tomlinson lined up at quarterback for two plays
doing his best Michael Vick impersonation. "I was trying to be like Mike."
said Tomlinson.

Ray Lewis ran over to Kyle Boller Sunday night and shouted, "Let's grow
up! Right now! Let's grow up! This is our stepping stone." I don't know
how he could have been any more clear than that. He's very persuasive that
Mr. Lewis.

"If they want to put skirts on the offensive players, then put skirts and
pumps on them and let them play another game.'' -- Oakland cornerback
Phillip Buchanon after the Raiders' 35-14 loss to Indianapolis.

Daunte Culpepper. Wow. That's pretty much all I have to say about him.

Don't look now, but the Lions are 3-1 overall and 2-0 on the road this
year. Have you noticed the degree of Detroit's success is inversely
related to how many times you hear the words "Matt Millen" mentioned?

The benefits of winning a zillion games over the years:  Oakland's Bill
Callahan last year said his team was stupid and nearly suffered a mutiny.
Sunday, Bill Parcells said "We're just stupid. We're just dumb." and no
one bats an eye.

Rams coach Mike Martz looked like Jim McMahon at his post game press
conference with his dark sunglasses. He said he left his regular glasses
in his locker.

Brian Billick said this Sunday after their win: "Huge win. This game's
about one thing. It's about character." He then gave Jamal Lewis a game
ball.

In a related story, commissioner Paul Tagliabue said this about Lewis:
"None of this is meant to diminish the seriousness of your guilty plea to
a federal felony. You have needlessly sullied your own reputation and
reinforced unfair and negative public perceptions of NFL players
generally. The consequences of your poor judgment include incarceration,
suspension from the NFL, and the loss of $761,000 in salary. The longer
term damage to your own reputation may well be even greater."

Two weeks ago, did anyone think Brian Griese would lead the Buccaneers to
their first victory? How about this - Two weeks ago, did anything think
Brian Griese would look great completing 16 of 19 passes leading the
Buccaneers to their first victory? You gotta pay attention. Things move
fast.

Griese was very complimentary of injured QB Chris Simms after the game:
"It's an unfortunate situation for Chris and I really feel for him. In his
first start. He was so excited. And he was so ready to play. And for this
to happen. It hurts him and hurts the team."

I never knew I missed Mike Patrick so much.

That's more like it: Jacksonville loses again. Over the last two weeks,
they've allowed 58 points.

That's more like it, part II: Atlanta drops from the ranks of unbeaten
teams.

Speaking of Atlanta, I keep hearing Jim Mora talk about the time needed to
learn the QB position. Philadelphia's Andy Reid talks about it too saying
last week that it takes 5-6 years for a quarter back to grasp the
position. I hope nobody tells Ben Roethlisberger.

Sharp Dressed Man Awards For Post Game Interviews: Charles Woodson, Tiki
Barber, Kurt Warner, Joey Harrington and Emmitt Smith.

Not So Sharp Dressed Man Awards For Post Game Interviews:  Drew Brees and
David Carr.

What's up with David Carr? I thought he got a haircut after the big second
win in a row. He's still got the Alfred E. Newman hair thing going.
Somebody's gotta tell him.

Tim Rattay and Tom Brady both took every snap for their teams Sunday.
Rattay bested Brady by 341 yards.

Monday Night Football's Al Michaels had this classic line from the Titan's
game, "Eddie Berlin, no relation to Irving."

Detroit's Steve Mariucci thinks you're better off not trying to get too
fancy. "We know them, they know us. We tried to dummy one time and called
and audible and jumped off sides. Let's just play."

Mike Vick was fired up in the pre game huddle: "They don't have to respect
us. But they're gonna respect us for 60 f****** minutes."

New addition to the Blackeyedjoe.com All Name Team: New England RB Rabih
Abdullah.

The Atlanta - Detroit game featured two running backs that are key parts
their offenses. A couple of series to look at:

2-5-DET18 (7:48) Vick pass incomplete to Dunn.
Penalty
1-10-DET13 (7:41) Dunn up the middle to DET 10 for 3 yards
Penalty
2-2-DET5 (7:04) Dunn up the middle to DET 2 for 3 yards
1-2-DET2 (6:30) Dunn right tackle for 2 yards, TOUCHDOWN.

And then a few series later for Detroit:

1-2-ATL2 (3:07) Pinner up the middle to ATL 1 for 1 yard
2-1-ATL1 (2:27) Pinner up the middle to ATL 1 for no gain
3-1-ATL1 (2:00) Pinner up the middle for 1 yard, TOUCHDOWN.

My cousins in Pittsburgh tell me their favorite bar has signs over the
toilets that say: "Flush twice, it's a long way to Cleveland". The
Steelers' Jerome Bettis summed it up pretty well, "They don't like us, we
don't like them. That's what makes it great."

The Panthers' Julius Peppers had the longest runback I've ever seen
without scoring a touchdown. He intercepted the ball in the end zone and
ran 101 yards to the 3. The play was challenged and even the referee was
rattled when he said, "After reviewing the play, it'll be first and goal
for California".

Is there a taller breakaway running back in the league than Chris Brown?
He's already one of the tallest RBs at 6' 3".  But his 4 rushing
touchdowns have all been from at least 20 yards out.

San Diego's Marty Schottenheimer's not getting carried away: "We haven't
done anything yet. All we've done is assure ourselves three wins."

Next time you watch the Ravens play, focus on Ray Lewis' feet. He's
textbook. It's almost not fair to allow Lewis and coach Mike Singletary on
the same team.

Miami's defensive back coach Bill Lewis looked to his cornerbacks and
said, "Let me ask you Pat (Surtain) and Sam (Madison), can we handle #87?
Surtain said, "Hell yeah". The next highlight you see is New England's
David Givens scoring. Givens is #87.

I'll admit it, the Patriot guys firing their muzzle loader rifles while
Ozzy belts out Crazy Train when the players take the field is pretty
cool.

Tennessee's Drew Bennett threw a TD pass Monday night. Said coach Jeff
Fisher: "I'm glad Drew could throw it. Because he sure couldn't catch it
tonight."

Speaking of not catching the ball, Seattle's Koren Robinson has more pass
deflections than Champ Bailey.

Scary picture of a concussion Sunday night. The Rams locker room was
raucous after their stunning come from behind overtime win over Seattle.
Torry Holt was ecstatic smiling ear to ear while players yelled and
cheered. Isaac Bruce, who sustained a "mild concussion" at the end of the
4th quarter, sat staring blankly out into space.

The Colts are now 81-81 at the RCA Dome, the first time they've been .500
at home since moving to Indianapolis in 1984.  Just thought you would want
to know.

With Tennessee leading Green Bay 14-0 with 9:52 left in the first quarter,
you could almost hear Vince Lombardi growl, "What the hell is going on
here?"

The Rams' Marc Bulger has 2 rushing TDs so far. Atlanta's Mike Vick has
none. That's not right.

Speaking of the Rams, they came back to win with Bulger touchdowns to
household name players Brandon Manumaleuna, Kevin Curtis and Shaun
McDonald.

At half time, Howie Long and the Fox guys guffawed at how inept Mike Martz
was for continuing to pass. Long, in particular, mocked Martz saying he
was like the Roy McAvoy golfer in "Tin Cup" who just kept hitting the ball
into the water and stupidly asking for another ball to hit into the water.
Long laughed and said, "You know Mike, just keep on throwin'." Seahawk
fans weren't laughing.

If I were the Tampa Bay coach, I wouldn't have benched Brad Johnson.
That's probably why I'm writing Random Shots and Jon Gruden is coaching
the Bucs.

Denver's "plug and play" running back system wrote another page in the
book Sunday when Rueben Droughns rolled for 193 yards. Are you kidding me?
I've noticed the Tatum Bell fan club was awfully quiet Monday.

Eric Johnson and Antonio Gates. Two great reasons to wait on a TE in your
draft.

Nobody likes to be fired. But I bet Dave Wannstedt wouldn't be heart
broken if Wayne Huizenga called and said "bring your playbook".

It's kind of sad to Jerry Rice fade out like this. Pulling the "John
Elway" is no easy feat.

It's awfully early to call the Raiders the new Lions. But Oakland's lost
12 straight road games.

Corny joke of the day: A guy takes his blonde girl friend to her first
high school football game. They had great seats right behind their team's
bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all
the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand  why they were killing
each other over 25 cents."

Puzzled, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of
the game, all they kept screaming was:  'Get the quarter back! Get the
quarter back!' "

Miami's Zach Thomas is focused on winning. When asked about whether he'd
accept Ricky Williams, he said, "I get along with almost everyone on this
team. But if you're a guy I don't like, I don't care. If you can help me
win, you make me happy. There's no need for apology here, I just want to
win. I may not like what somebody did, or somebody does, or what kind of
person they are, but they help you win. And when you win, you're happier.
And I'm selfish. I hate losing, so whatever it takes, I don't care if the
character of that team is bad, as long as you're winning, it doesn't
matter. And that's all I care about."

That reminds me of the line from former Dallas coach Jimmy Johnson, "I'd
sign Charles Manson if he could run a 4.3 forty."

There are two Ayanbadejo's in the league: Miami's Brendon and Arizona's
Obafemi. Yet just one Atkins. New Orleans' Ron. Why I notice this stuff
I've no idea.

I know they have to work with the kickers and all, but why doesn't every
team use their quarterback for the place kick holder? If I were Jim Mora,
I'd make Mike Vick my holder and fake it about half the time.

That's it, I'm springing for the Chargers throwback jersey. I think I'll
go with Flutie. Speaking of the powder blue throwbacks, I'll agree with
Chris Berman, they're the best uniform in all of sports. I actually like
the fact San Diego wears them only once a year. Makes them more special.
Does that explain why UCLA wears a similar uniform every week and nobody
really cares? I think part of the draw though is the white helmet with the
number and the bolt. Very cool.

I guess Deuce McAllister's ankle is ok.

Good news: After a season high 122 receiving yards last week, Washington's
Laveranues Coles again led all Redskin receivers.

Bad news: Coles had 25 yards.

The Panthers were asked what they knew about Denver RB Rueben Droughns:
"On Playstation I'd seen him a couple times returning kickoffs," Panthers
defensive lineman Mike Rucker said. "That's all I really know."

Another "easy" name that's hard to spell, 49er running back Jasen Isom.

Detroit coach Steve Mariucci didn't know much more about his player on
Monday morning: "We have a variety of bumps and bruises, but I don't know
much about them."

Most coaches will go with the "hot hand" if a player produces early.
Evidently Mike Martz isn't one of those coaches. Steven Jackson's first
touch in the game was a 48-yard run off right guard. He exploded through
the hole and ran down the right side line breaking one tackle barely
keeping his balance before being knocked out of bounds at the 9-yard line.
It was his only carry in the first half.

Edgerrin James was a little indecisive about hitting the hole Sunday. But
not for the usual reason. The Colts line was so dominant, James had
trouble deciding which gaping hole to run through.

Somebody call Arizona and Seattle and tell them the game goes for a full
60 minutes.

Indianapolis' James Mungro is "Jerome Bettis Light". For the second time
this season, Mungro had 1 target, 1 reception, for 1 yard and 1 TD.

Another Blackeyedjoe.com All Name Guy: Arizona tight end Lorenzo Diamond.

ESPN's Tom Jackson on the Seattle Seahawks Monday: "You are what you were
yesterday."

Much has been made about Jake Plummer and the "substantial" fines he'll
receive if he defied the league and continued to wear the "40" decal on
his helmet. Let's get real about "substantial". Plummer signed a 7 year,
40 million dollar deal last season, including a big bonus. I know they
juggle the dollars but let's just spread the 40 million out evenly over
the life of the contract. That's roughly 5.7 million per year. A $5,000
fine to a guy that makes 5.7 million per year is the equivalent of a guy
making $50,000 a year being hit with something like a $44 fine.

If I'm Tommy Maddox, I'd be for finding a good real estate agent.

How about Footballguys Player of the week, Dolphin Wes Welker? Kicker
Olindo Mare injured his calf and was carted off before the game even
started. In comes Walker with exactly zero kicks to his credit as a pro.
Even worse, he was 0-1 on kicks as a collegiate player. Welker made a FG
and an extra point for Miami. And he also returned 5 kickoffs and 5 punts.
Nice work.

Hard Luck Awards:

NYG RB Tiki Barber 2 yard rush from the 4
NYG RB Tiki Barber 1 yard rush to the 1 (Warner to Shockey TD)
NYJ RB Martin rush for no gain from the 1 (Pennington to Baker TD)
MIN QB Culpepper 21 yard pass to WR Robinson to the 3
MIN RB Moore 2 yard rush to the 1 (Culpepper to Moss TD)
MIN QB Culpepper incomplete pass from the 5 to Campbell
MIN QB Culpepper incomplete pass from the 5 to Moss (Culpepper to Burleson
TD)
HOU QB Carr 36 yard pass to WR Johnson to the 4
HOU RB Davis 2 yard rush to the 2
HOU RB Davis rush for no gain from the 2 (Carr to Johnson TD)
HOU QB Carr 20 yard pass to WR Johnson to the 4 (Davis TD)
ARZ RB Smith 12 yard rush to the 2
ARZ RB Smith rush for no gain from the 2 (McCown to Hambrick TD)
ATL PK Feely lined up for a 30 yard FG but Atlanta ran a fake
IND QB Manning 11 yard pass to WR Wayne to the 4
IND RB James rush for minus 1 to the 5
IND RB James rush for 4 yards to the 1 (Manning to Mungro TD)
IND RB James rush for minus 3 yards to the 4 (Manning to Clark TD)
OAK QB Collins 6 yard pass to RB Zereoue to the 1 (Fargas TD)
OAK RB Zereoue 56 yard TD rush nullified by offensive holding penalty
NE RB Dillon 12 yard rush to the 2
NE RB Dillon 1 yard rush to the 1 (Brady to Graham TD)
NE QB Brady incomplete pass to TE Graham from the 3 (Abdullah TD)
DEN QB Plummer 26 yard pass to WR Smith to the 5 (Plummer to Droughns TD)
DEN QB Plummer pass for WR Smith from the 1 intercepted
CAR LB Julius Peppers 101 yard interception return to the 3 (Delhomme TD)
CAR PK Kasay 43 yard FG nullified by penalty
NO PK Carney 24 yard FG nullified by penalty (Brooks to Horn TD)
PIT RB Staley 1 yard rush to the 3 (Bettis TD)
GB Brett Favre 18 yard pass to WR Chatman to the 1 (Favre to Franks TD)

Sometimes it's better to just not know.

That'll do it for this week, Folks. Thanks for playing along and have
fun.

Joe



Thanks to Footballguys, Bob Harris, Mike Anderson, Juicecore, and
RoarinSonoran for the help on this one.