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Hi Folks, Here's what happens when you sit an NFL Junkie down in front of multiple big screens with Sunday Ticket and fresh batteries in the remote… Random Shots A Twisted Look at The NFL Every Week And All That Goes With It By Joe Bryant Judging from my email box, it looks like several thousand of you knew the answer to last week's question when I asked why the Steelers had the logo on just one side of their helmet. For the few still wondering, here's the official scoop clipped from: http://www.steelers.com/tradition/logohistory/
Who says Footballguys doesn't provide any educational value? Here's another good one for you. See if you know this one WITHOUT LOOKING. Don't click the link yet, but you can see every team's official logo across the top of the www.nfl.com page. Most of the logos "face" toward the right. By that I mean the animal or character is facing toward the right like Minnesota's Viking or Denver's Bronco. Some are letters facing naturally to the right like Green Bay's G or Chicago's C. And some are neutral like Dallas' Star or Indianapolis' Horseshoe. But there is one team that has the logo facing towards the left. Without looking, do you know which one? Cool Ride Of The Week Award: Cincinnati's Chad Johnson cruising to the stadium in his pink Impala. Smooth. Have they started playing hockey yet? Joe's Armchair Producer Thing I'd Fix About ESPN. I got in late last night about 1:15 am. I flip over to ESPN thinking I'll surely catch the highlights of the World Series Game 3. I expect to get highlights and instead get a train wreck called Dream Job. Which as best I can tell is a Survivor type contest to see who can kiss up to Stuart Scott the most while still keeping their clothes on. I understand ESPNews and ESPN.com and all that. But c'mon. This is the World Series we're talking about. I got in late as I'd been in Miami for a quick business trip. Rushing to the airport last night, I hailed a cab and asked him to hurry. Three minutes into the ride, I was living the GTA Vice City game racing through the streets of South Beach in a hopped up taxi. I peered over the seat to catch a glimpse of the name badge for the driver. I at least wanted to know who'd be responsible for the crash. I kid you not, his name was Lou Die. I asked him if he wanted to be on the Footballguys All Name team. He just smiled and kept squinting… But hey, I made it. "Fan mail" of the week. Last time I wrote" Good Grief, Mike Sherman. Tuck your shirt in on the sidelines. You're representing a proud NFL franchise. You win 20 in a row, and then you can dress like Bill Belichick if you want."
You gotta like that. Although I think he was just trying to make this week's column. Everyone knows my column is in Maxim… Thanks for all the email from folks laughing with me at the Coors "Coldest Tasting Beer in the World" ads. Although I did have one guy who was so offended, he asked for (and received) a subscription refund. Oh well. But I believe we've uncovered a bigger issue. It's not so much they keep running the dumb ads. It's the fact they keep running the dumb ads INSTEAD OF running the Twins ads. Which everyone knows are some of the finest television moments in the history of network broadcasting. Think about it, when is the last time you saw the good old "AND I LOVE YOU TOO" Twins ad on TV? I'm sure it has nothing to do with Mr. Coors running for the U.S. Senate. http://www.petecoorsforsenate.com/ Nah… While I'm on conspiracy theories. Anyone else find it odd that Miami wins their first game with a huge upset of the Rams the week before they're to be featured on Monday Night Football? Ok, that's a reach. Nothing the Rams do surprises me anymore. But I still love Mike Martz. He just does his thing and doesn't yield to the masses of Monday Morning Quarterbacks out there. Not that we'd ever do that… It's well known I like Martz. And Mike Tice too. I had a reader from Baltimore rail on me about how in the world could I like Tice and not Brian Billick. He went on about winning percentages and strategy and other things. I had to stop him. Don't confuse me liking a coach with thinking they're a great football coach. I liked Steve Spurrier a lot too. Maybe it's just me, but I think it's way too early to start casting Pro Bowl ballots. Just another reason why the NFL's version of the All Star game doesn't mean anything. Of course the globetrotter uniforms they wear don't help any. The Jaguars' Jimmy Smith made my favorite touchdown celebration move Sunday. It only works when you're the visiting team but I love it when the guy scores and then makes the "shhhhhh" sign to quiet the crowd. Randy Moss made my point Sunday about what I was saying the other day: I put little stock in "streaks". Moss kept his consecutive games started streak alive with a token appearance. He contributed nothing to the win. Tom Jackson summed it up: "If you can only play one play, maybe you shoulda sat." Has there ever been a bigger mountain made from a molehill than Reggie Wayne's
"shoving match" with Peyton Manning? Of course if you saw it, you
know it was a one handed push and nothing more. The only guy in the media that
made any sense talking about it was Mike Irvin (of all people.) Irvin said of
Wayne, "Why would I bother (Manning) and make him hesitate one little Last coach to beat Bill Belichick? Steve Spurrier. Just because I know you like that kind of stuff. Note to University of Florida Athletic Director Jeremy Foley: Do NOT screw this up. Again. And what's with an AD named "Jeremy". Athletic Directors in the South Eastern Conference are supposed to be named Hootie and Haywood. Watching quarterbacks Jake Plummer and Jeff Garcia roll out every play reminded me of one of my all time favorite movies - Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Like Plummer and Garcia, Sundance was "better when he moves". Carson Palmer was 9 years old the last time Cincinnati hosted a Monday Night Football game. No wonder they were excited. Ever notice the guy in the Staples ad buying printer cartridges looks just like Mike Sherman? You probably didn't. And that's likely a good thing for you. Cincinnati's starting wide receivers Chad Johnson and T.J. Houshmandzadeh are both from Oregon State. Does any other NFL team have starting wideouts from the same school? I'm just asking. Speaking of Johnson, small move that probably went unnoticed but says something about his personality. He was lying on his back after a play and saw the referee standing close by. He reached out his hand for the ref to help him up. The referee did and they went on about the game. The good news is that Tampa Bay's Mike Alstott won't be out for the season as was originally feared. Although Michael Pittman owners might make the case they're glad to see their man as the only viable RB choice. This series from Sunday is likely a glimpse of things to come:
When will the league do something about cut blocking? My weekly "Thomas Jones Is the Chicago Offense" series:
Sometimes, a loss cuts so deep it can have lasting effects. I think Oakland's Super Bowl defeat was like that. And I'm starting to think Seattle blowing the big lead to St. Louis might be one of those types of losses. Hat's off to Eagles fans. The team is rolling and looking great. I would be at least a little concerned though that a team like Cleveland ran all over them. Lee Suggs and William Green combined for 142 yards on just 29 carries for a 4.9 yards per carry average and two touchdowns. "Probably me." -- Jim Haslett when asked who would benefit most from the Saints bye week. Dan Marino said something negative about Buffalo on HBO's Inside the NFL program two weeks ago. HBO was flooded with complaints. Marino tried to backpedal last week but made it even worse when he said, "I talked to Jim Kelly, and he's like the governor of the city…" Cris Collinsworth fell out of his chair. First year Minnesota offensive coordinator Scott Linehan's staying pretty modest about his league leading offense. Asked how he got the job, he said "I was fortunate enough to get an interview with Minnesota and Mike Tice was dumb enough to hire me". How hot is the Vikings offense? Think about it this way. Just about any fantasy owner anywhere playing in a 12 team league would love to submit a starting lineup featuring:
That's just not fair. Why do the Chiefs have that goofy looking teddy bear thing for a mascot? Seriously, what a waste of a great opportunity. They should show a little sack and take a cue from Florida State. Chief Osceola riding out to midfield on his Appaloosa and planting a flaming spear in the 50 yard line is the best pre game moment in all of sports. Instead, Chief fans get Banjo Kazooie in a baseball cap. Sean Salisbury said on ESPN radio Sunday: "Jay Fiedler at least can complete a pass. Jonathan Quinn can't throw up." He might not even be the best runner on his team, but I'm a Warrick Dunn fan. He's helped 45 single mom families purchase a home with his Warrick Dunn Foundation. He assists them with the down payment and furnishing the home. How cool is that? "I've never seen eight rushing touchdowns. ... That's an NFL record? Well. ... I'm honored to be part of history here. ... Wow." -- Jim Mora (speaking a bit sarcastically) on Chiefs record-setting day. Oddly enough, the Chiefs big day started off with a Priest Holmes fumble. New Orleans' Donte' Stallworth said his Mom wore a Saints #83 jersey to the Oakland game. He said he told her to just wear some black and blend in but she went for the Stallworth jersey. That's one tough Mom. I was flicking through the channels tonight and caught about 30 seconds of The Bachelor tonight. I could actually feel my brain shrinking… I said last week that it was a cool move for Steve Largent to offer up his #80 jersey to Jerry Rice. Steve Young actually went so far as to say Largent called and Rice "graciously" accepted Largent's offer and that he's wearing #80 "to honor Steve Largent". Sorry, but that one sent the Footballguys cynic detector into the red zone. I'm also hearing some very different stories that Rice sought out Largent and asked to wear #80. If that's the case, what a way uncool move. Numbers are retired for a reason. So nobody wears that number again. Ever. The ONLY guy who has anything to say different about that is the guy who had his number retired. And even then, it's bad form to ask him. They weren't actually battling each other, but you could tell there was something to the Terrell Owens vs. Jeff Garcia matchup Sunday. After the game, Owens was professional: "He's a gutty, gritty guy. I've played with him, and he's a tough guy. He does not go down. If you give him opportunities, he's going to make you pay." Nice start: Baltimore rookie B.J. Sams scored a touchdown on his first NFL carry. There are lots of ways to win in this league. Baltimore's Kyle Boller finished
Sunday's game with under 100 yards passing. He's done that three times this
year. And the Ravens are 3-0 in those games. After Porter's comments, Sterling Sharpe said, "You cannot say those things publicly because it makes you look like a selfish football player and it makes you look like you do not have the best interests of the team first." I would ask what Sharpe means by "look like". It seems pretty obvious that Porter didn't mince words. It doesn't "look like" he's a selfish player that doesn't have the best interests of the team first. He's clearly saying he "is" a selfish player that doesn't have the best interests of the team first. Packers win at Lambeau Field. Sadly, that's big news. Miami rookie Tony Bua takes the Footballguys Big Hit award for the week. Maybe the season. He absolutely destroyed two Rams on a punt return block. "A lot of guys were playing with their hair on fire," Bua said. "When you're 0-6, you're willing to do anything to get a win." Another game, another record for Emmitt Smith. This time it was Walter Payton's all time record for career 100 yard games. Smith now leads that category with 78. On a smaller scale, Minnesota's Mewelde Moore broke Chuck Foreman's 3 game Viking rushing record. You read that right. Baltimore coach Brian Billick seemed to enjoy Deion Sanders' success Sunday, "For those that didn't think it was a good move, then maybe they can rethink that." With the score tied 7-7, St Louis blitzed on 3rd and 27 and Dolphin QB Jay Fiedler found Randy McMichael down the middle for a touchdown with 22 seconds left in the half. "That's the only time I've ever called a play on defense, and it goes for a touchdown," Rams coach Mike Martz said. "I guess that's why I don't coach defense." Terrell Owens made some highlight reels for tearing down one anti Owens sign and throwing a ball at another that said, "T.O. has B.O." I'm sorry, but I can't be too sympathetic for the sign guy who can't come up with anything better than "T.O. has B.O." Tennessee wide receiver Derrick Mason's been watching those Dawn of the Dead previews: "We're like 53 guys nailed up in a little box with no room to move and each guy's got to grab a hammer and start pounding to get us out.'' Mike Vick sure is exciting. After three quarters Sunday, he was sporting the Blutarsky QB rating of 0.0. Every time I clicked over to the Giants game, Kurt Warner was being sacked. "I don't know much about quarterbacks. ... But this guy is pretty damn good." -- Jon Gruden on Brian Griese Lame move of the week. Buffalo QB Drew Bledsoe threw an interception that Baltimore DB Chad Williams caught at the 1 yard line. Williams returned the ball 93 yards before he was tackled by Eric Moulds. Willis McGahee looked like he could have made a tackle much earlier but gave up the chase. Second best touchdown celebration of the weekend: Detroit's Reggie Swinton and his back flip. San Diego running back Jesse Chatman at 5' 8" and 247 looks like Natrone Means when he gets rolling. I miss that guy. Bears fans, welcome to the Craig Krenzel era. That just doesn't have the right ring to it. Speaking of Chicago QBs, where is Jeff George? Seriously. Did it seem odd to anyone else watching the Chargers play Carolina with the Panthers wearing the light blue jerseys? I just shook my head but I actually heard a lot of people say they thought the Titan WRs might be better with Billy Volek. These people were kinda quiet after the game. Carolina's Brad Hoover had twice as many rushing yards as San Diego's LaDainian Tomlinson. Go figure. Jerry Rice had a badly dropped pass Sunday. Apparently, there's something in the water… Arizona Neil Rackers has been carrying guys who hit bonus points for long FGs. Sunday, he nailed three from 50+. And then he pushed a kickoff out of bounds. He seemed to take the success in stride. He was asked if he'd been in the team's interview room before and he said, "Just once. To stretch." He then pretended to slick his hair back for the television cameras. It's not often that a defense allows as many yards rushing per attempt as they do passing. But Dallas came close Sunday. They allowed 7.1 yards per rush and 8.4 yards per pass. Wow. Michael Bennett - you are the weakest link. Did you catch Byron Leftwich wearing the Red Sox jersey in the post game press conference? It's not because he's a fan. He lost a bet with assistant athletic trainer Joe Sheehan. Leftwich bet Sheehan that Boston couldn't come back from the 3-0 deficit in the Yankees series. Of all people to bet against a comeback, you'd think it wouldn't be Leftwich. "That's what I get for doubting somebody, huh?" Leftwich said, laughing. Don't doubt me either. I told you it was ovah two weeks ago. Hard Luck Awards
Sometimes it's better to just not know… Thanks to Bob Harris, Minneapolis Steve, Da Masses and Steve Dube for the help on this one. If you've got a Random Shot of your own, shoot it to me at [email protected]. Thanks for playing along and have a great week. Joe |
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