Hi Folks,

Here's what happens when you sit an NFL Junkie down in front of multiple
big screens with Sunday Ticket and fresh batteries in the remote.

Random Shots

A Twisted Look at The NFL Every Week And All That Goes With It

By Joe Bryant

Thanks to all the folks who emailed about my question where I asked which
team had the only official logo "facing" left. It's the Eagles. You can
see them all across the top at www.nfl.com . I had lots of folks guess the
Bengals as they used to have the Tiger jumping to the left (like they have
at midfield in their stadium). Why Cincinnati decided to go with the
striped "B" instead of the Tiger for the logo I'll never know. Of course
the same guy who made that decision likely picked out the new uniforms as
well.

Speaking of mid field logos, here's the uniform / logo / stadium trivia
for this week. Which team last Sunday replaced their normal midfield logo
with a Jack-o-lantern for the game on Halloween?

Congrats to Chuck Agger who had the high score inn week 8 in the 
Footballguys $20,000 Subscriber contest. You folks that visit the Footballguys
Forums (you DO visit the Footballguys Forums, don't you?) know Chuck as
SeniorVBDStudent. For his high score in week 8, Chuck wins a super cool 
projector TV from the good folks at www.projectorpeople.com You can check out
the details here

I rode the Chiefs as hard as anyone early on. But you cannot deny 100+
points over the last two games.

Drew Brees threw 5 TDs Sunday. Yes, we're mentioning Drew Brees and Dan
Fouts in the same sentence. And I'm ok with that.

My new fool proof ratio for predicting a victory: The Rush to Punt number.
Seattle rushed 43 times Sunday and punted once. When you check in at 43:1
on the Rush to Punts, you'll win. Now if only I could accurately predict
the ratio before the game.

Any other parents out there raise an eyebrow at the cell phone ad where
the son comes in late and then is rewarded with a cell phone? I looked
sort of like the little brother in that ad asking what was up with that. I
had a similar thing happen at the park the other day. Another dog across
the way was going crazy barking at me and my dog, Chief. The other dog's
owner tried to quiet her pet and felt the best way to keep the dog from
barking was to stuff dog treats in his mouth when he barked. She couldn't
figure out why the dog kept barking. Proof that pets are sometimes smarter
than their owners.

I asked last week if there were another pair of starting WRs in the league
besides Cincinnati's Chad Johnson and T.J. Houshmandzadeh from the same
college. Oddly enough, the Bengals used to have Peter Warrick and Ron
Dugans together. The current Cincinnati team is the only one now but
several of you reminded me that Pittsburgh features two WRs that were
college quarterbacks with Hines Ward and Antwaan Randle-El. And if you're
really digging deep, Washington's Laveranues Coles and Rod Gardner are the
only WR tandem who played college football for a Father and Son combo.
(Bobby and Tommy Bowden) Where else you going to have knowledge dropped on
you like that?

Ravens defensive end Anthony Weaver had this to say regarding Terrell
Owens' Ray Lewis dance: "His dance made me sick. But that is karma. It
will all come back on him. I do have one thing to say about the dance and
that is that I would not want to mess with Ray." I can see that. I was
watching the game and saw the move live. My first reaction was, "There's
an awful lot of time left on the clock."

When Vinny Testaverde tucks the ball and runs, you can't stop him, you can
only hope to contain him. President Clinton was mid way through his second
term the last time Testaverde scored a rushing touchdown prior to Sunday's
game.

Only 2 of Testaverde's 24 passes Sunday fell incomplete. That works out to
92%. Of course only 19 were completed to Cowboy receivers as the Lions
intercepted 3 times.

It's weird how games unfold sometimes. Peyton Manning finished Sunday with
an incredible stat line of 472 yards passing with 5 TDs. Yet he started
the game ice cold completing just 3 of 10 passes in the first quarter.

2nd best TD Celebration:  Kansas City's Johnnie Morton and the "Worm"
dance was pretty funny.

You think anyone would have predicted Kyle Boller would throw for more
yards than Donovan McNabb Sunday? Me neither. But that's why they play the
game.

Philadelphia tight end Mike Bartrum left no doubt as to why he's not a
quarterback. The Eagles ran a trick play where Bartrum attempted a pass to
WR Terrell Owens and missed him by a mile.

Antonio Gates owners should send Marty Schottenheimer a thank you card.
With the Chargers up 35-7 late in the third quarter, Schottenheimer made
the decision to go for it on 4th and goal. Drew Brees threw a short TD to
Gates.

Like most everyone else, I've been on Koren Robinson for the drops. Giving
credit where credit is due though, he caught all 3 targets thrown his way
Sunday.

Running down the Warren Sapp - Norv Turner story, I found this clip from
an article by Monte Poole in the Oakland Tribune:

"It was by NFL standards an utterly ghastly showing, perfectly Halloween,
with the Raiders dressed as clowns. Some of their masks were made of
plastic, others were made of rubber.

Some masks conveyed frustration, others indignation. One or two masks
seemed to project resignation.

As for coach Norv Turner, he spent 60 minutes wearing a Bill Callahan
disguise that fooled no one.

They all knocked on the door of mean old Marty Schottenheimer, who greeted
them not with an offer of treats but by cackling in their faces. His San
Diego Chargers laid a 42-14 monster-mashing on Oakland on Sunday at
Qualcomm Stadium.

This was, to be sure, one of the worst whippings the Raiders have absorbed
in their history, once glorious and now being covered with dust. They were
played, punked, slapped silly and laughed at in public.

It was, all in all, the bottom of rock, a disgrace to their tradition and
an affront to whatever it was they thought they were supposed to be this
season."

This just begs to be read aloud by John Facenda.

Back to Sapp - Turner. I know it was "frustration" and I know it was about
blown coverages on Antonio Gates but if I'm Al Davis, I sit Warren Sapp
down for a game. There are some limits that are not crossed and screaming
at your head coach is one of them. Can you imagine a player screaming at a
Joe Gibbs or Bill Parcells? Ask Antonio Bryant how that worked out.

Whatever happened to Home Field Advantage? Teams like Kansas City,
Tennessee and Green Bay never used to lose at home.

Here's how bad it is for Oakland. J.R. Redmond carried the ball 1 time and
totaled zero yards Sunday. Fellow running back Amos Zereoue carried the
ball 6 times and gained fewer yards than Redmond. Seriously.

Buffalo scored 38 points while passing for just 81 yards Sunday. I'm not
sure what the winning percentage is for teams that pass for more yards
than they rush but I can't think that's a good sign.

Have you caught any of the spat between Keyshawn Johnson and Fox reporter
Pam Oliver? Oliver reported that Johnson had yelled at Dallas coach Sean
Payton. Johnson strongly denied the incident and said, "I almost wanted to
get on a plane, find where she is at, and sit her down and spank her with
a ruler really, really hard, because it makes no sense. You don't need to
make up a story."

Oliver stood by her story saying, "My job is to report what I see. I do
not make stories up. Keyshawn is having a complete denial of reality."
When asked what might happen if Johnson tried to spank her, Oliver replied
"I will punch him in the face." See, who needs the wife swap shows or
Jerry Springer when you can get that right here?

Glitch in the Matrix from Monday night: Both Curtis Martin and Lamont
Jordan rushed for 115 yards and each had a 25 yard rushing TD.

Speaking of the Jets, Blackeyedjoe.com All Name Team fullback, B.J. Askew
even got into the mix against the Dolphins. I'm sure there's a "Dave
Wannstedt looks like John Holmes" / B.J. Askew joke in there somewhere but
I'm not going near it.

The Ravens lost a closely fought game to the Eagles. Afterwards, coach
Brian Billick was happy with the effort but put things into perspective
that it was still a loss: "I think it's something we can build on. But
it's still a loss. And at the end of the season, no one's going to go back
and say, 'Oh yeah.but'. It's still a loss. And they beat us."

But he was realistic too, "With the circumstances, on the road, against a
championship-caliber club, with the adversity we faced, I'm not going to
go home and slit my wrists."

The next reporter followed up with a dumb question asking Billick if the
game unfolded as he wanted. Billick replied, "Yeah, I wanted to go in and
lose. You know, I thought I'd start and say, 'You know what? Let's go in,
keep it tight, and fumble the ball and let's lose at the end.' "

Tough weekend for Florida Football: The University of Central Florida,
Florida A&M, Florida International, Florida State, University of Florida,
University of Miami, Jacksonville Jaguars and the Miami Dolphins all took
it on the chin this weekend. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers were the only team
that didn't lose. But that may have been because they didn't play.

ABS Sports' Michelle Tafoya reported Miami's WR Marty Booker cried at
night because he was so frustrated. This prompted the major eye roll from
Mrs. Bryant.

Bill Belichick and the Patriots were classy in their post game press
conference. There wasn't any whining or finger pointing or saying the
other team was lucky. Of course the way Pittsburgh dominated them, there
wasn't a lot they could say. Coach Belichick was to the point: "We'll talk
about the things we did well.which won't take long."

Seattle's Maurice Morris suffered a concussion during the game. Head coach
Mike Holmgren described this exchange with Morris: "I walked up to
[Morris] and said, 'Do you know who I am?' He said "Yeah". I said, 'Ok.' I
always feel better when they know who I am."

I'll hand it to Terrell Owens, he goes all the way. He appeared on ESPN's
Monday Night Countdown show with Stuart Scott wearing a shirt that said,
"I (Heart) T.O."

Watch the news out of New England very closely this week. It's all been
pretty rosy for new running back Corey Dillon up till now. His "bad boy"
attitude hasn't been tested. But with the Patriots finally losing, and
Dillon nursing an injury, we'll see what happens. My money says the
attitude was over hyped and he'll be fine.

Get ready folks. Blackeyedjoe.com All Name Team Captain Taco Wallace might
see action this week with Seattle. Nobody wants to see Darrell Jackson and
Jerry Rice injured, you have to love the chance of Taco seeing the field.
Maybe if he does something, the league will see fit to add his picture to
his player page http://www.nfl.com/players/playerpage/396114

There were dumb reporters all over Sunday.  After the Miami game, one guy
asked Dave Wannstedt "is your team still trying?" Wannstedt looked like he
could have killed him.

Bill Parcells realizes he's not getting any younger. You can clearly see
the sense of urgency: "It's not like I got 20 more seasons. Know what I
mean? Can't say 'Oh well, we'll get 'em in 2018.' "

I think I see a little of what Tony Siragusa was talking about with Joey
Harrington.

David Carr won the Post Game Style award sporting the black shirt with the
Clint Black Stetson hat. That works for Houston.

I'll admit I get tired of Chris Berman but his David "Ringling Brothers
and Barnum & Bailey" Kircus was pretty good.

Detroit lost on the road. Yes, that's big news.

Lions coach Steve Mariucci is starting to look more like Joe Pesci each
time he loses.

Eagles coach Andy Reid was asked if he saw Terrell Owens' dance. Reid
said, "You know, I missed it. I miss a lot of good stuff. From what I
understand, it was a pretty good imitation."

Hats off to Kurt Warner. He's excelling now in a Giants system that is
radically different from the St. Louis scheme. He's asked to do very
different things than he did for the Rams and I'm impressed with how he's
handled the transition.

Dennis Erickson's post game press conferences all look the same. It's like
Ground Hog day. This week, he started off with "Lemme give you my thoughts
on this.fiasco."

Please, someone tell Visa to fire the agency that created the Brentson
Buckner shoe kissing ad. You have to work pretty hard to make Buckner look
lame but congratulations, they did it.

Speaking of ads, the Coors Twins ads started rolling out again Monday
night right on cue. Probably should have waited just one more day though
to dust them off as Ken Salazar rolled up 51% of the votes compared to
Pete Coors' 49% in the Colorado Senate race. Live and learn.

I love the new America Online commercials. They say," Whenever one of our
members has an idea on how to make the internet better, we listen." How
about fixing your service so you don't block Footballguys emails to 10% of
our guys.

Green Bay's fullback Nicholas Luchey lost his helmet while carrying the
ball and didn't miss a beat. He actually looked to be running harder once
his helmet flew off.

Just one more example of how closely turnovers are tied to winning and
losing. New England failed to create a turnover Sunday. It was the first
time they'd failed to do so.since the last time they lost.

Buffalo's Drew Bledsoe and Arizona's Josh McCown unleashed an aerial show
for the ages Sunday. They threw for 17 completions and 182 yards. For the
entire game. Combined. Granted, the weather was awful, but c'mon. For
comparison, Peyton Manning and Trent Green combined for 861 yards and 8
TDs last week.

Going back to his days at Miami of Ohio, Steeler quarterback Ben
Roethlisberger has an 18 game winning streak going. And yes, that means
nothing.

Mike Vick thought of the week:  Anyone else tiring of the Jim Mora shtick?
According to Mora now, if you say Vick has had a hard time grasping the
West Coast offense, what you REALLY mean is that you're bringing up the
"black quarterback thing" and according to Mora, you're really saying Vick
isn't smart enough. Or something like that. Sorry Coach, when I say he's
having a tough time grasping the offense, I mean pretty much what I just
said. I'm beginning to think the apple didn't fall far from the
"diddlypoo" tree.

Has the clock struck midnight for Minnesota RB Mewelde Moore? After 610
total yards in his last three games, Moore was held to just 29 yards on
eight carries by New York.

"It felt like 'The Longest Yard' out there today. There was a lot of extra
hitting after the play that wasn't called. They were playing roughhouse
football. Donovan [McNabb] took a cheap shot early on from [Terrell]
Suggs. ... I said, 'OK, it's on.' They were trying to take our heart. They
came in believing we were a finesse team. We had to bow up and not let
their antics take us out of our game." -- Eagles linebacker Ike Rees on
Sunday's game against the Ravens.

How tough was it for New England? Kevin Faulk led the team in rushing.
With 4 yards.

Denver's Rod Smith won't be a Hall of Famer, but this guy's been good for
a long time. And he's getting better. Smith set a career high Sunday with
208 receiving yards. Smith's been a full time starter for 8 years now. You
don't usually see guys setting career records that late. Cool.

The St. Paul Pioneer Press reported that head coach Mike Tice saw Giants
President Wellington Mara after Sunday's game. Mara told Tice: "We caught
you on the right day." "No," Tice said, "you kicked our a**."

Do you need a graphic explanation of the Bengal's woes? Here's a series
where they started on their 35 line and 6 plays later it's 4th and 27 and
they're punting from their 18.

1-10-CIN35 (8:26) Johnson left end pushed ob at CIN 37 for 2 yards
PENALTY on CIN Johnson, Offensive Holding, 10 yards, enforced at CIN 37.
1-18-CIN27 (8:09) Palmer pass to Johnson to CIN 44 for 17 yards
PENALTY on CIN Williams, Offensive Holding, 10 yards, enforced at CIN 27 -
No Play.
1-28-CIN17 (8:09) PENALTY on CIN Williams, False Start, 5 yards, enforced
at CIN 17 - No Play.
1-33-CIN12 (7:24) Palmer pass incomplete to Houshmandzadeh
2-33-CIN12 (7:20) (Shotgun) Palmer pass incomplete to Johnson
3-33-CIN12 (7:17) Palmer pass to Watson to CIN 18 for 6 yards
4-27-CIN18 (6:36) Larson punts 56 yards to TEN 26

Great to see Arizona WR Anquan Boldin back out there. After the game,
Boldin said, "I don't think I had any problems today as far as my knee
goes. I think everything went according to plan, except for us losing."

Sunday night's Chicago-San Francisco game created a rematch of
quarterbacks from the collegiate national championship game following the
2002 season. Craig Krenzel led Ohio State over Miami, quarterbacked by Ken
Dorsey, in the Fiesta Bowl for the national title. And you saw how that
turned out. Which is an excellent point to bring up anytime someone
suggests the best college team would have a chance against the worst NFL
team.

Monday Night Football's Al Michaels asked John Madden if referee Ron
Winter was the first referee to wear glasses.  Madden says, "I don't know
if he was the first one, but I was glad when they started admitting they
couldn't see."

Hard Luck Awards

JAX WR Gaffney 6 yard TD challenged and reversed
SEA QB Hasselbeck 7 yard pass to RB Strong to the 4 (Alexander TD)
DET QB Harrington 10 yard pass to the 1 to TE Alexander (Harrington to
Jones TD)
DEN RB Droughns 7 yard rush to the 5
DEN RB Droughns 1 yard rush to the 4
DEN RB Droughns 3 yard rush to the 1
DEN RB Droughns rush for no gain from the 1 (Plummer to Hape TD)
ATL QB Vick 15 yard rush to the 5 (Dunn TD)
ARZ RB Hambrick 10 yard rush to the 4 (Ayanbadejo TD)
BUF RB McGahee 3 yard TD rush nullified by penalty (Bledsoe to Euhus TD)
BUF QB Bledsoe 23 yard pass to the 2 to WR Moulds (McGahee TD)
SD QB Brees 4 yard pass to the 5 to WR McCardell (Tomlinson TD)
OAK QB Collins 12 yard pass to the 5 to RB Zereoue (Wheatley TD)
SD RB Tomlinson 1 yard rush to the 5 (Brees to Gates TD)
SD QB Brees 22 yard pass to the 4 to WR Parker
SD RB Chatman 1 yard rush to the 3
SD RB Neal 2 yard rush to the 1
SD RB Chatman rush for no gain from the 1 (Brees to Gates TD)
PIT RB Staley 2 yard rush to the 4 (Roethlisberger to Burress TD)
PIT QB Roethlisberger 12 yard pass to the 2 to Burress (Bettis TD)
GB QB Favre 7 yard pass to the 5 to TE Franks (Green TD)
WAS QB Brunell 43 yard TD pass to RB Portis nullified by penalty
TEN RB Holcombe 4 yard rush to the 1 (Volek to Meier TD)
NYJ RB Jordan 4 yard rush to the 1 (Pennington to Baker TD)
NYG QB Warner 17 yard TD pass to WR Toomer nullified by penalty (Cloud TD)
NYG QB Warner 5 yard pass to TE Shiancoe (Cloud TD)
MIN QB Culpepper 6 yard pass to the 1 to RB Bennett (Culpepper to Burleson TD)

Sometimes it's better to just not know.

Thanks for playing along and I hope you have fun.

Joe

*******************
Joe Bryant
Owner  www.footballguys.com

If you've got a Random Shot of your own, shoot it to me. Thanks to Dennis
Donnelly, Scott Rappaport, Chad Austin, Brian Detterman, Scott Conrad and
Dan Bragg for the help on this one.