Hi Folks,

Here�s what happens when you mix an NFL Junkie, Sunday Ticket, a big screen TV and fresh batteries in the remote�

I�d always thought Patrick Ewing�s comments during the NBA strike that he �was only trying to put food on the table for my family� was the most pathetic statement ever made in sports.��

I was wrong.�� Warren Sapp told ESPN�s Susie Kolber that �(Mike Sherman) violated me personally� when Sherman told Sapp he didn�t appreciate the hit on Chad Clifton.�� Poor Warren�

Steve Young was riding Ricky Williams about never having experienced snow before the Buffalo game.�� 228 yards later, I�d say Williams handled it pretty well.

Speaking of Steve Young, I like the guy but he looks like he combs his hair with his pillow.

I�ve lost a lot of respect for Tiki Barber lately.�� From calling out the defenses to pointing fingers at his own kicker, Matt Bryant, Barber would be better off just keeping his mouth shut.� Especially when you go into the locker room at halftime with a total of minus 4 yards on 10 carries.�� I wonder if he has a clue that Bryant�s 19 of 23 for Field Goals?

Nice move by the Fox #1 team of Joe Buck, Cris Collinsworth and Troy Aikman Thursday when they recognized John Madden and Pat Summerall for the many years of Thanksgiving Broadcasts.��� But what is up with Joe Buck�s goggles?

I was ripping Arizona Punter Scott Player the other week for that stupid one bar facemask.�� You probably saw the ugly broken nose by Washington Punter Bryan Barker.�� Barker�s a 13 year vet but has a similar stupid facemask.�� What�s it take for these guys to learn?��

Emmitt Smith had a good line after being awarded the �Galloping Gobbler� award for the game MVP.�� He said, �It looks like Cris Collinsworth��

I realize I�m in the very small minority that seems to think Mike Sherman was not wrong for saying something to Warren Sapp.�� I thought it was interesting though that Coach Bill Parcells said he did the same thing telling opposing players �they�d better be alert� if they wanted to continue that type of play.

Clinton Portis was funny talking with Jamal Anderson on ESPN.�� Asked what Portis would do if he saw San Diego LB Jr. Seau in the hole, Portis said, �I hope I don�t see him in the hole.�� I hope he slips and I get away�.

Watching some of the old NFL Film stuff with George Allen leading his team in the locker room with a rousing cheer if �Hip Hip Hooray!��� This game has changed.

Denver is 0-4 at night.�� Any theories?

I like ESPN�s �coaching� section.�� A few weeks ago Steve Young was going over throwing mechanics and Sunday Bill Parcells was throwing out tips on how to field a punt of kickoff.�� Good stuff.

Great feature on the personal chef Eddie George employs and the super healthy food he eats.� Ricky Williams and Tim Brown employ a high tech nutritionist that selects food types based upon the athlete�s blood samples.� Williams spoke about how his body was so finely in tune that if did not eat the right food at the right time, he could feel the effects immediately.

Then they went grocery shopping with Denver WR Rod Smith.�� He�s in the cereal aisle and says, �You can�t go wrong with Fruity Pebbles.�� This might be one of the best cereals ever.� Seriously�.�� Then he admitted his pre game meal was Burger King. ��You gotta like that.

Chicago PK Paul Edinger put a textbook tackle on Javon Walker.�� Some of the cornerbacks in the league could take a lesson from him wrapping up the runner.

Chicago�s DT Keith Traylor at 6� 2� / 340 pounds is a Full Grown Man.

I�m with Terrell Owens when he says on the cover of this week�s ESPN the Magazine: �Guys are beating their wives, getting DUI�s, doing drugs, and I get national attention for a Sharpie?�

Chicago�s TE Dustin Lyman had 2 TDs by halftime.�� His Mother was a national speed skating champion in case you keep up with that sort of stuff�

Why Jim Nantz is better suited to covering Golf:�� �The Vikings are looking rather feisty today�.�� I�m not making that up.

Announcer Bill Maas on the Arizona � Kansas City Game as the Cardinals were falling apart: �There�s no gameplan for being down by 35�

Coach Dave Wannstedt wearing mittens on the sidelines couldn�t reach into his pocket to pull the challenge flag out.� One of his assistants had to pull it out of his pants for him.�� I know it was cold, but mittens?

Fox�s Kenny Albert looks nothing like he sounds.

You know I try to avoid using the worst clich� in sports, �step up�.�� I�ll see if I can manage to make it through this piece without reverting to the �this lasts as long as Jennifer Lopez�s marriages�.�� If I can, I might be the only writer in America to pull that off this week�

God bless you folks who sat through Carolina and Cleveland Sunday.�� The only thing uglier than the play on the field were the uniforms.

Giant TE Jeremy Shockey caught a pass Sunday and put a pretty good shot on the defender that tackled him.�� The 6� 5 / 253 pound Shockey jumped up like he�d really done something.�� It was Andre Dyson at 5� 10� / 188 that he hit.�� I think the 250+ pound guy is pretty much expected to get the better end of those hits.

I�m continually amazed at the speed of Ricky Williams.�� He uses it to get outside but also has just the sheer straight line speed.� On one of the TD runs, he smoked Buffalo Safety Pierson Prioleau in a footrace.

Sometimes, TV announcers don�t add much to the game.�� Not so with Randy Cross in the Tennessee � New York game.�� Maybe he had the info handed to him but noting that Michael Strahan and Steve McNair�s history went way back to the Texas Southern and Alcorn State rivalries was good stuff.

Drew Bledsoe threw two consecutive passes that resulted in 134 yards and 2 TDs.�� That�s pretty efficient.

Somebody tell Tennessee�s Jeff Fisher that the Kenny Rogers beard has got to go.

Terrell Owens was asked for one word to describe himself.�� He said �Confident�.� Asked for another word, he said, �very�.�� You have to like that.

How many times a day must we be subjected to the �I Love This Woman / I Love This Man� commercials for giving diamonds?� Are these the same geniuses that decided you have to spend 3 years salary on an engagement ring or whatever it is?�� Watching commercials this time of year, it�s pretty apparent that no matter how wrecked, virtually any relationship can be salvaged at Christmas time as long as diamonds, babies, and Lexus automobiles are involved in some sort of exchange.

Did it seem sort of sad to see the Titans picking on once great corner Jason Sehorn?�� This game moves fast.

The play calling from Tennessee was baffling.�� With a minute left in overtime, you throw a Hail Mary to your rookie RB, John Simon?�� With 1:12 on the clock they were playing like there was 0:12 left.� Fortunately for Titan fans, they settled down and went on to win.��

T.J. Duckett may not be a good RB but he�s got the killer tattoos with the �T� on his left triceps and the �J� on the other arm�

Hate to keep beating a dead horse on the Detroit overtime debacle of last week but had to share this thought with you.�� Marty Mornhinweg would be a great guy to play Russian Roulette with.�� I bet he�d offer to go first�

Why has Eddie George been on the bench during the final key drives of the last two Titan games?

Tough day for officials Sunday.� I counted 3 different guys who went down hard.�� You�ll see these guys in helmets in the very near future.�� One day, our kids will look back and not believe the refs didn�t wear full pads and helmets.�� Wonder what Ed Hochuli will do if no one can see him flex?

Leafing through an NFL gear catalog the other day and in the Jersey section, the 49ers offered replica jerseys for 3 players:� Jeff Garcia, Terrell Owens, and Mike Rumph.�� Mike Rumph?��

Brian Urlacher and Ray Lewis get all the hype.�� And they�re great players.�� But I�m not sure I wouldn�t take my chances with Denver�s Al Wilson at LB.�� He�s got all the skills plus the fire in his eyes.

Interesting to see Green Bay stick to their gameplan once Tony Fisher replaced Ahman Green.�� Fisher responded very well.

I�m totally out of adjectives to describe Mike Vick.��

Speaking of Vick though, I don�t hear as many people laughing at GM Dan Reeves for letting San Diego�s John Butler rob him blind in the 2001 draft where Butler �dumped� the #1 pick for picks that netted San Diego LaDainian Tomlinson and Drew Brees plus Tim Dwight and later Reche Caldwell.�� That�s actually looking like a pretty fair trade.

Repeat after me:� I will never draft an Arizona Cardinal�

Who came up with the idea that everyone had to wear the jackets and sweatshirts with the team name in �Dodger� style script?�� Bill Cowher looked like he was wearing pajamas.

You�ve likely seen it a dozen times now but was the Eric Moulds one handed TD catch from the Sam Madison deflection one of the sweetest plays of the year?

One of the better passes thrown in Minnesota Sunday was Randy Moss to Daunte Culpepper.

I find myself pulling against San Diego and Buffalo just so I don�t have to hear Chris Berman�

Are the Ebay commercials not the worst?

Whatever happened to the �umpire cam� where the guy wore the thing on his hat?

Nine fumbles in the St. Louis � Philadelphia game.�� Are you kidding me?

Pittsburgh�s TE Jerame Tuman has maybe the least complicated hardest to spell name in football.

Four RBs have rushed for over 1,000 in their first 6 seasons.�� Eric Dickerson, Barry Sanders, Curtis Martin and Corey Dillon.��

Philadelphia�s N.D. Kalu had 4 sacks Sunday.�� His real name is Ndukwe (pronounced EN-doo-kway) but goes by N.D. as it saves him time explaining.�� He was born in the US but his folks are from Nigeria.�� Ndukwe means �long life and prosperity���� Kalu means �God of Thunder�.�� He went to High School with Priest Holmes.�� I bet that was a pretty good team�

When�s the last time the Rams were held to 3 points?

Why are some games almost always shootouts?�� Miami � Buffalo�s been like this since Marino.

Cleveland�s Kevin Johnson has been the forgotten man for the Browns.� Then Sunday, he�s the only WR to catch a pass.�� Go figure.

Speaking of the Browns, the We Want Kelly Holcomb Chant is getting pretty loud.

Poor Jake Plummer finished Sunday�s game with a 12.6 QB Rating.�� I love that formula.�� Rich Gannon could throw 300 interceptions and still beat Plummer in the rating game.

Another QB who�s taking a beating is the Texans� David Carr.�� It was another ugly game Sunday.�� There was 12:20 left on the clock in the 3^rd quarter before he completed a pass.

Back to the Warren Sapp hit.� I understand the guys who say it was a legal hit and it was just part of football.�� I also understand the guys who say there ought to be some sort of respect on the field and unnecessary hits ought to be looked at.�� Sapp is clearly in the �part of the game� camp.�� I wonder though if he�d taken the same shot on Brett Favre?�� And what would the league have done had Sapp put Favre in a wheel chair for 3 weeks with a hit like that?�� Just asking.

Funny injury report line from a couple of weeks ago that I forgot to tell you about.�� This is from the NFL�s official report:�� TE Chad Lewis (Buttocks)�� WR Todd Pinkston (Tooth / Wrist)�� You don�t see that every day.�� Even funnier followup as the Eagles have a policy not allowing players to discuss injuries with the media.�� Instead, they have to go through Coach Andy Reid.�� When asked about the injury, Lewis replied, �If you want to know about my butt, you�ll have to ask Andy����

Everyone is awed by Mike Vick, myself included, but why isn�t anyone talking about Priest Holmes for MVP?

I�ve always sort of defended ESPN�s Kenny Mayne�s off beat stuff.� �But he�s making it harder and harder�

Best argument I�ve seen in a while for Natural Grass?�� Minnesota�s Bryant McKinnie �leaving it all on the field� Sunday.

Did you see the opening kickoff for the Miami � Buffalo game?� The wind was blowing really hard and Olindo Mare had Arturo Freeman hold the ball on the tee.�� Mare is just about to kick it and Freeman let the ball fall over.�� Looked like Lucy and Charlie Brown.

Is it just me or do players and the media talk a lot more openly about players taking painkilling shots than they used to?�� The announcers for the Chicago � Green Bay game talked very lightheartedly about Jim Miller getting a visit from �Dr. Feelgood�.�� Sal Palantonio of ESPN talked about Steve McNair taking his painkilling injection in order to play and last week they said Keyshawn Johnson �took the needle�.�� Most people have always known this went on but I don�t remember it being so open.

I always thought Atlanta�s �Dirty Bird� thing was stupid but I love the thing they�re doing now where when one guy makes a great play, the others gather around and they �pass the magic�.

How bad is Carolina?�� Randy Fasani comes in for a �spark� at the goalline.

Isn�t Drew Bledsoe involved in a lot of �revenge� games?�� First it was Bledsoe vs Parcells in the �Tuna Bowls� and now it�s Bledsoe going back to New England.

Props to Buffalo Offensive Coordinator Kevin Gilbride.�� How you get Peerless Price matched up with Brock Marion and Arturo Freeman is beyond me.

The announcers Monday Night commented that this was the first Raider game Tim Brown�s Mom had ever attended.�� I�m sure there�s a story there.

Hard Luck Awards

NE QB Tom Brady 17 yard pass to RB Kevin Faulk to the 2 (Smith TD)

BAL PK Matt Stover 39 yard good FG nullified by penalty.�� (Missed 49 yard FG attempt)

MIN RB Moe Williams no gain to the 1 (Culpepper TD)

MIN RB Moe Williams 2 yard rush to the 2 (Culpepper to Goodwin TD)

MIN WR Randy Moss 6 yard TD pass to QB Daunte Culpepper nullified by penalty (Anderson FG)

ATL QB Mike Vick 39 yard pass to WR Brian Finneran to the 1 (Christian TD)

SEA RB Shaun Alexander 20 yard rush TD nullified by penalty

KC RB Priest Holmes 8 yard rush to the 3 (Richardson TD)

KC RB Mike Cloud 4 yard rush to the 1 (Green to Boerigter TD)

IND QB Peyton Manning 35 yard pass to WR Reggie Wayne to the 1 (Mungro TD)

TB RB Mike Alstott minus 1 yard rush to the 2 (Johnson to McCardell TD)

GB RB Tony Fisher 11 yard rush to the 1

GB RB Tony Fisher no gain to the 1 (Favre to Henderson TD)

NYG RB Tiki Barber minus 2 yard rush to the 3

NYG RB Tiki Barber no gain to the 1 (Collins to Campbell TD)

NYG QB Kerry Collins 34 yard pass to WR Amani Toomer to the 1 (Bryant FG)

SD QB Drew Brees 11 yard pass to WR Reche Caldwell to the 1 (Tomlinson TD)

Some times it�s better to just not know.

And the �D�j� vu� award for the week.� Check out this line:

2^nd and 7 from the 7.�� DEN QB Steve Beuerlein 7 yard TD pass to RB Rueben Droughns nullified by penalty.

2^nd and 22 from the 22�� DEN QB Steve Beuerlein 22 yard TD pass to RB Rueben Droughns.

That�ll do it for this week.�� Here�s to Football�

Joe

Joe Bryant is the co-owner of www.footballguys.com�� You can usually find him on Sunday afternoon staring at the Sunday Ticket broadcast muttering �this is so cool��