Hi Folks,

Here�s what happens when you mix an NFL Junkie, Sunday Ticket, a big screen TV and fresh batteries in the remote�

Sit down for this one.�� The Chiefs and the Texans both won Sunday.�� But the Chiefs had more POINTS than the Texans did total net offensive YARDS.��

Watching Hulk Hogan and Alf on the 10-10-220 commercials and it�s hard to tell which one is the puppet.

I�m kind of glad the November elections are over.�� Between the politicians running for office and the coaches laying empty words on the media, there�s only so much a guy can take.�� Here�s the latest from Coach Marty Schottenheimer when asked if he might be inclined to sit Drew Brees down:� ``I'm not inclined to make changes, unless I believe that that change gives us an opportunity to win that game.��� What other reason would there be for making a change?

You want to see an example of domination?�� Check out this series:

1-10-KC43 (5:22) P. Holmes up the middle to SL 45 for 12 yards

1-10-STL45 (4:47) T. Richardson up the middle to SL 42 for 3 yards

2-7-STL42 (4:14) P. Holmes left tackle to SL 36 for 6 yards

3-1-STL36 (3:36) P. Holmes up the middle to SL 25 for 11 yards

1-10-STL25 (2:57) P. Holmes up the middle to SL 8 for 17 yards

1-8-STL8 (2:16) P. Holmes left tackle to SL 1 for 7 yards

2-1-STL1 (2:00) P. Holmes up the middle for 1 yard, TOUCHDOWN.

Ok, the Kenny Mayne �Mayne Event� stuff has now started to become painful�

Back in August, did you think we�d see a QB matchup between A.J. Feeley and Matt Hasselbeck?��

Certainly wasn�t funny after Koy Detmer dislocated his elbow and his foot was flopping around, but his teammates are riding him a little now.� Says A.J. Feeley, �When Koy gets hurt, he�s a spaz�.

One way in which the NFL is just like your job � It�s hardly ever a good idea for your wife to call into a radio station and effectively call your boss a liar.�� Just ask Kurt Warner�

I�ve always liked Ricky Watters (me and 7 other guys make up his fan club�) but asking 1 million dollars to play the next 4 games for Tampa Bay is just goofy.

Kansas City Coach Dick Vermeil seemed genuinely glad to see many of his old players and they seemed happy to see him.�� That�s kind of cool.

Mike Vick may be Superman but Jon Gruden knows where the Kryptonite is�

Tennessee�s RB John Simon might be their best deep threat.�� That�s scary.� If ever a QB has held it together with duct tape and baling wire, it�s Steve McNair.

Freaky Defensive Play of the Week � Tennessee LB Keith Bullock snags a hard thrown pass from Peyton Manning and Bullock was just 5 yards away.�� Manning throws the ball hard enough that receivers sometimes have issues handling the ball 15 yards downfield.�� For Bullock to pluck that ball out of the air that close to Manning was unreal.

The hardest shot New England WR David Patten took all day was when his QB Tom Brady put him flat on his back celebrating the TD.

Is there a less effective short yardage guy in the league than Ron Dayne?��

Over / Under on how many times Tiki Barber will have to leave the field after being shaken up Sunday is currently at 6�

Indy�s Marvin Harrison runs routes that seem to defy physics.

Did the clock strike midnight for Tommy Maddox?

The Kansas City and St. Louis game was a weird contest.� At halftime, Trent Green had 3 completions and St. Louis had 9 yards rushing.

Carolina�s Wesley Walls in his 14^th year is just a shadow of the player he once was.� But he still has some very sticky hands.�� He always reminds me of Nick Nolte in North Dallas 40.

New England didn�t punt the ball until there was 6:08 left in the 3^rd Quarter.

I don�t claim to know more than the coaches but who didn�t see Patrick Ramsey being better than Danny Wuerffel?�� In his first series, Ramsey did two things Wuerffel had not � Avoid the pass rush and throw it 20 yards downfield for a 3^rd down conversion.

And speaking of Washington QB�s, is it me or do they just always conveniently seem to get �hurt� whenever Coach Spurrier wants to make a change?�

Atlanta�s Ray Buchanon broke up a pass intended for Keyshawn Johnson in the endzone.�� Johnson fell down after the play.� Buchanon offered his hand to help Johnson up and Johnson just looked at him.�� That�s bush league.

The dark blue shoulders on the Bills white jerseys looked real close to the Patriots blue jerseys.�� With the speed of the game, I wonder if that�s ever an issue for Bledsoe trying to spot a receiver?

Marshall Faulk finished with 13 yards on 10 carries.�� Wonder if that�s ever happened to him?

The worst part about Bruce Smith�s back injury was that he was laying on top of QB Kerry Collins forever before they could move him off.�� That can�t be a good feeling�

Washington�s Chris Doering nearly smashed a Redskin Cheerleader who just kept watching and smiling as Doering headed toward her.� It was classic �deer in the headlights� as finally you could see the neurons start to fire the message that it might be a good idea for her to move�

The Falcons really miss Warrick Dunn.�� T.J. Duckett looks to be another one of those stellar Big 10 �power backs��� I remember this Summer reading about how Maurice Clarett was set to break Ron Dayne�s conference records.�� Like that�s some indication of success at this level�

As is often the case, the DB covering Terrell Owens on his TD catch just happened to come up injured after Owens scored.�� I wonder if Derek Ross will show up on the injury report as having his feelings hurt?

Does anyone like ESPN�s Stuart Scott�s �illingest� shtick?�� A little too cute for me.

Weird commercial for Office Depot.�� Small kids are dressed up like adults in the office doing grown up things like answering the phone or commenting on a co-workers new pen.�� In the last scene, two boys dressed as men are standing by the water cooler.� One says, �Golf this Saturday?�.�� The other replies disappointed, �Naw, my weekend with the kids���� I know it�s ultra common but it seemed sorta sad to me that advertisers could be so flippant about that using the kids for that line.��

On a lighter note:�� I personally have always thought those �bachelor� type reality shows where 50 girls vie for the one �lucky� bachelor were just incredibly lame.�� But Fox may have hit something with �Joe Millionaire��� They bring in 50 women to try and snag the multi millionaire bachelor in his castle.�� Except in reality, the guy�s a regular Joe and makes $18,000 a year.�� I�d probably tune in just to see the look on the gold digger�s faces��� Gotta love Fox.

My funny Fox story.� A couple of years back, our experts league, FanEx, made a deal with Fox where Fox would promote the league and such.�� But in doing so, we had to agree to a pile of demands most of which were basically assurances that we wouldn�t go out and say / do something stupid that would embarrass Fox.�� We all sort of looked at each other and said, �Look at their TV lineup, they think we�re going to embarrass Fox?��

With the wind blowing his hair crazily in Miami, John Madden looked like the Heat Miser.�� He did have a funny line though as he said, �You know, just a few minutes ago, Andrea Kremer just blew right past me�.��

Joe Buck�s glasses kill me but I really like the Fox �A� team of Buck, Collinsworth and Aikman.�� Aikman especially seems to have good insights.� I�ve been surprised several times as he sides with the defensive player when it comes to a question of protecting the QB.��

Just when you thought the Ebay commercials couldn�t get any worse�

Rich Gannon may actually be getting better as he ages.�� Between Gannon, Rice and Brown, there must be something in that Oakland water�

The Jets� Marvin Jones absolutely drilled Denver�s Clinton Portis.�� Dan Deirdorf calling the game had a great line � �The forward momentum of Clinton Portis came to an abrupt halt.�

The Baltimore field was in absolutely terrible condition.�� There were more divots than the local Pitch and Putt fairway.

Denver faced a 4^th and 1 � with 3:02 left in the 2^nd.�� So with a gimpy kneed QB, you go empty backfield and try a QB sneak?�� It wasn�t even close.

Baltimore�s Chris McAlister is an avid bowler.�� Just because I know you guys like to know that kind of stuff�

It hasn�t hurt them yet, but do not underestimate the Eagles losing their excellent punter, Sean Landeta.��

Jamal Lewis and Edgerrin James have been stark contrasts for comebacks.�� Lewis looks to be very bit the player he was before the injury.�� James, not so much.

Is there a more inconsistent ad campaign than what Coors Light is running this season?�� The company that brings you the �Twins� 10 minutes later will throw out the Dr. Dre in the airplane thing.

Oakland�s WR Tim Brown is definitely old school.� Still tapes his fingers as opposed to wearing the sticky gloves like everyone else.

You may not like Terrell Owens, but it�s hard to disagree that he backs up his talk.�� In my neighborhood, you could talk as long as you walked the talk.�� Owens is doing that.

Tom Brady caught a TD from Deion Branch that was nullified.�� Same thing happened last week with Randy Moss throwing a score that was nullified to Daunte Culpepper.�� I�m sure there�s a Matrix reference in there somewhere�

Another d�j� vu moment.�� Tommy Maddox returns from injury and looks just like Kurt Warner fumbling the ball for no reason on a rollout.

Terrell Owens continues to do the impossible.�� He had Dallas owner Jerry Jones speechless in the post game press conference.

Speaking of Jerry Jones, if I�m Dave Campo, I�d put off redecorating the house for a little while�

God Bless you Bengal Fans.

52 points for Carolina?�� Where�d that come from?

Note to Tom Coughlin � Next time you kickoff to a team that needs a TD to win on the final drive, have your kicker place it deeper than their 45.

Good thing Tommy Maddox picked a patty cake team like the Texans to make his comeback�

Whether you like Texan coach Dom Capers or not, you can�t deny he�s been extremely effective with expansion teams.�� His Texans have a shot to win the most 1^st season games since the 1995 Panthers won 7.�� The 1995 Panthers were of course coached by Capers.

When Monday Night Countdown�s Stuart Scott talks to Tim Couch, they almost need a translator�

Most folks know I�m no Warren Sapp fan.�� But you have to give the Buc defense their props.�� They are seriously scary.

Who decided Kiefer Sutherland should be the spokesman for Hockey ads?�� And did George Will write the script for those sappy commercials?��

Cleveland�s loss when Dwayne Rudd pulled off his helmet early is looming very large right now.

In all the NFL, Tim Couch has the 2 longest Game Winning TD passes in the last 40 years.� I find that odd.

How tough was it for Steeler fans (and sweet for Kris Brown) to nail that 43 yard FG in the same endzone where he�d struggled so badly in Pittsburgh?�� It would have been good from 53 yards.

Ron Jaworski said that Dick Vermeil was complaining to him how ESPN wasn�t covering Priest Holmes enough and didn�t appreciate the season he�s having.�� Coach Vermeil should check out more Fantasy Football sites if he wants to see some love for Holmes.�� He�s carrying an awful lot of teams right now.

I seriously wonder what the Lions would have done if they�d won the coin toss in overtime�

It seems like it�s a big deal when Drew Bledsoe faces his former team.�� That happens to Jeff Blake and Chris Chandler just about every week.

Why can the Broncos not win when it�s dark?�� Seriously.

Rich Gannon needs 879 yards over the next 3 game to break Marino�s record.�� I hope he gets it.�

In the history of the league, Jay Fielder is # 2 All Time among Ivy League QBs.�� Take that for what it�s worth.

�

I�m a Texas A&M Grad (Gig �Em) and sharing his last name, I�ve always loved Bear Bryant.�� But is it really necessary to play the Junction Boys commercial every 8 seconds?�� I feel like I�ve seen the movie twice already.

The Jets� John Hall�s missed 2 extra points this season.�� That�s as many as Jason Elam has missed since the President George W. Bush�s dad was our President.

With 2 �catches�, Eagle cornerback Bobby Taylor had as many first half receptions as any Seahawk receiver.

How in the world does Houston win that game?

Chicago has not had an All Pro wide receiver since Dick Gordon in 1971.

Between punt and kickoff returns, St. Louis has allowed 12 returns for TDs.�� They have no TDs on punts or kickoffs of their own.

When Ricky Williams continues to rip off 200 + yard games, he can act however he wants to act.�� Ever notice that when a guy like Ricky produces, he�s �eccentric�.�� When he�s not producing, he�s a �freak�.

I doubt it�ll ever happen in this age of parity, but I really wish someone would go unbeaten just to make the 1972 Dolphins stop talking.

The Kevin Faulk Awards (Formerly Hard Luck Awards)

TB RB Mike Alstott 27 yard rush to the 3

TB RB Mike Alstott minus 2 yard rush to the 5 (Johnson to Jurevicius TD)

TB LB Derrick Brook�s 74 yard TD Interception nullified by penalty

NE QB Tom Brady 15 yard TD pass to WR Deion Branch nullified by penalty (Vinatieri FG)

NE RB Kevin Faulk 23 yard TD pass to QB Tom Brady nullified by penalty (Vinatieri FG)

NE RB Kevin Faulk 27 yard TD rush nullified by penalty

CIN RB Corey Dillon 2 yard rush to the 3 (Kitna to Warrick TD)

CAR RB Brad Hoover 2 yard rush to the 2 (Peete to Muhammad TD)

CAR RB Dee Brown 3 yard rush to the 2 (Peete to Walls TD)

ARZ RB Marcel Shipp 16 yard rush to the 1 (Plummer to Makovicka TD)

OAK RB Tyrone Wheatley 7 yard rush to the 2

OAK RB Tyrone Wheatley 1 yard rush to the 1 (Crockett TD)

KC QB Trent Green 29 yard pass to WR Eddie Kennison to the 3 (Holmes TD)

TEN QB Steve McNair 10 yard pass to TE Frank Wycheck to the 3 (George TD)

BAL QB Jeff Black 43 yard pass to TE Todd Heap to the 1 (Lewis TD)

NO QB Aaron Brooks 4 yard pass to WR Joe Horn to the 1

NO QB Aaron Brooks no gain to the 1 (McAllister TD)

NO QB Jake Delhomme threw TD pass dropped by WR Joe Horn

MIN QB Daunte Culpepper 7 yard pass to D�Wayne Bates to the 3 (Culpepper to Moss TD)

JAX RB Fred Taylor 1 yard rush to the 3

JAX RB Fred Taylor minus 1 yard rush to the 4 (Boyd FG)

NYG QB Kerry Collins 1 yard TD pass to TE Jeremy Shockey nullified by penalty

NYG RB Tiki Barber minus 1 yard to the 2

NYG RB Tiki Barber no gain to the 2 (Collins to Stackhouse TD)

BUF QB Drew Bledsoe 41 yard pass to WR Peerless Price to the 1

Sometimes it�s better to just not know

That�ll do it for this week.�� Here�s to Football�

Joe

Joe Bryant is the co-owner of www.footballguys.com�� You can usually find him on Sunday afternoon staring at the Sunday Ticket broadcast muttering �this is so cool��